Every person at one point in their lives will be able to experience a long distance relationship but if you are one of the few people who won’t then you are lucky! It is obviously not easy being in a relationship, let alone a long distance one where you and your partner are a thousand miles apart, but if you are with the right person then chances are it will not be difficult.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, it is not all rainbows and butterflies, and it is especially difficult to mend problems if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend have distance in between, but never fret! As you read on below, you will be able to know that these “downs” in your relationships are very common and there are solutions to it.
Here are six common problems in long distance relationships, and their solutions:
The number one breaker of long distance relationships: miscommunication. You cannot have less of it nor you can have more of it. Communication must be balanced and without it, your relationship is destined to doom. Sometimes, you will feel like you and your partner are not talking enough or the opposite of that, with your partner hitting your phone up every minute – both are not good indicators of a healthy relationship.
Your partner is your confidante so you should be able to tell him or her the way you really feel. Do not be afraid and do not bottle up your feelings because if he or she really loves you, then he or she will understand. If you are not comfortable with your partner hanging out with a particular person then do not hesitate to relate that to him or her. If your partner is now willing to share his or her problems with you because he or she doesn’t want to bother you, then make your partner feel that you are open to helping.
Balance is key, that is why to avoid miscommunication, you and your partner should properly talk with each other. You need not talk with each other every minute of every day because the most important thing is that when you talk, the both of you are able to relay your feelings and problems and talk about it in the open instead of keeping it to yourselves. Remember, it is important to have said it than to not have said it and regret it later on.
The green-eyed monster is present in every relationship. It resides in the heart and sees the world through the person’s eyes. It is completely normal to feel the green-eyed monster, also known as jealousy, inside you. Jealousy is also a pretty common problem in any relationship whether long distance or not.
The green-eyed monster spares no one, whether it is the cute secretary your boyfriend works with or the nerdy classmate your girlfriend is in partner with for a project. It is irrational, it is clingy, and more importantly, it can take over your whole body. If you keep feeding your jealousy then there is a very high chance that it will take over your thinking and make you do irrational things like calling your partner every hour or forbidding him or her to go out with anyone at all.
Never give in to the green-eyed monster. If there is no reason for you to be jealous then do not be jealous! Trust your partner enough to not think about made up issues in your mind. If you pick at every detail like “Why did she text him if he has the reports?” or “Why is he making that project with her?” then you will never be able to rest. Do not give motives to people who don’t have them. The important thing to do in order to ward off the green-eyed monster is to not feed it.
Loneliness is a dear old friend who comes by every once in a while but in long distance relationships, loneliness is sometimes not very welcome. There will be times when loneliness will visit you but this is a very common thing to feel. Loneliness is there because your partner is not with you. If you look at the positive side, you may be feeling lonely because you long for the love that you feel when your partner is there with you.
There can be many causes of loneliness. It may be because you and your partner live in different time zones therefore when he or she is asleep, you are wide awake and having breakfast. It may also be because of busy work schedules because even if you two are in a relationship, you are still two different people, or it can even be one of the simplest reasons – you just miss your partner.
The cure for loneliness is to place daily reminders around your house of your partner. You can hang picture frames of special occasions, you can display the quilt blanket he or she gave to you last Christmas, or you can reread the love letters your partner sent you! Keep in mind that even if your partner is not physically there, you are able to feel his or her love through the mementos and gifts you have together.
4. Drifting apart
Some relationships have broken because the two people who used to be in love have “drifted apart”. The process of drifting apart is like a snowball rolling down the hill. At first, it starts out small and then it rolls all the way down into one giant snowball ready to trash any relationship in its way.
It can something as small as returning your messages very late or not returning your messages at all, then progressing to cancelled date plans or video chats, not picking up calls, and then suddenly your partner will just contact you and tell you about one of the most overused cliches in romance history: “It’s not you, it’s me” or “I think the distance between us made us drift apart.”
To avoid drifting apart, make sure that the foundation of your relationship is strong meaning it was not built upon lies and mistrust, but the most important thing of all is to make sure that you know yourself. Most people in a relationship drift away because they have finally discovered who they are and sometimes you are not part of their plans. So before you dive into any relationship make sure that you and your partner are confident in your identity. Never look for a person who makes you feel complete because you should be complete before that person comes.
Time is sometimes an unfair rival because it is something that you cannot fight against. Sometimes people in a long distance relationship are so caught up in their own lives that they forget to spend time with their partners. Other people are so worked with their careers that they forget to make time in their busy schedules for their loved ones. This does not only happen to couples but also to families and friends, unfortunately.
Time is even a more difficult opponent if your partner lives continents away and you two are divided by different time zones. It can be quite a problem to keep up with communicating especially if you are at work the whole day and when you call your partner, he or she is already asleep. The lack of communicating may lead to mistrust and even to jealousy. Nobody would want to wake up the green-eyed monster.
One of the sure-fire ways to fight time is to schedule it. This may sound boring because it becomes a routine but it works! Look for the perfect time slot for you and your partner to spend time with each other. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is only a few miles away then take the time to visit him or her every other weekend or vice versa because there is no such thing as “no time” for the people you love.
6. Trust issues
It is very understandable for the distance to make you feel paranoid about your partner. There are cases when people are just starting their relationships out and they are thrown into this whirlwind called life with them ending up at different poles apart. They were not able to spend enough with each other to get to know each other and establish a stronger foundation of trust. There are even times when a person falls in love with someone he or she met online. The lack of connections and the growing numbers between two people can cause mistrust.
The only way to overcome this is to take the leap of faith. Love is a gamble and you have to roll the dice. There is no certain way to know if you can really trust anyone. Do not hound your partner all the time. Give him or her the personal space needed because the last thing that you would want to make him or her feel is like a trapped animal. The only thing or reminder that you need to tell yourself is that you believe in the love that you share with your partner and that is enough for you to trust him or her.
Love is tough. It takes a lot of commitment and hard work to make it fulfilling. It is not all smiles and dates all the time. There will be times when you and your partner will fight and even hate each other for petty reasons. But you should never give up on the people you love. Even at times when your partner is the most difficult to love, you choose to love him or her despite the worst moments. The most important thing to remember is that this happens to every relationship and that in every problem you encounter, there is always a solution!