Most couples, if not all, experience highs and lows in their relationship. No matter how caring or understanding you or your partner may be, fights or misunderstandings seem inevitable. These problems are not necessarily unhealthy; these can mean that you still have a lot to discover about each other and a chance to make the relationship stronger and healthier.
No relationship is perfect. All unions have flaws, and conflicts are expected to happen from time to time. However, no issue can destroy the bond of couples working hard together to make their relationships work.
Here are some common relationship problems and ways for you to solve them:
1. Communication Issues
In every kind of relationship, communication is always the key to harmony. Some serious relationship problems are rooted in miscommunication or lack of communication. Since we, humans, are not mind-readers, we should not expect other people to understand us if we do not express our thoughts completely. Many couples fight because either one or both of the partners fail to communicate clearly.
There is only one solution to communication issues—and that is no other than the communication itself. Instead of keeping your heartaches and disappointments from each other, make it a habit to sit down together and have heart-to-heart but level-headed conversations to express what you feel.
Don’t wait for small things to pile up. Take time to listen to your partner. When it’s your turn to talk, stay calm and not let your emotions get the best of you.
ALSO READ: 8 Ways to Solve Communication Problems in Your Relationship
2. Pride! No one willing to give way
Another common issue in relationships is pride. During conflicts, many people refuse to admit their mistakes and apologize to their partners. If you have observed, most fight scenarios involve pointing fingers at one another, but rarely does anyone take the blame.
To overcome this kind of problem, both of you have to acknowledge the need for humility on both sides. Then, you talk and come to an agreement on how you should deal with conflicts without being defensive and offensive. For instance, you can agree that both of you should evaluate your part in the conflict whenever there is a misunderstanding, be willing to admit it, and apologize.
3. Trust issues
You may have some trust issues because of your experiences in your past relationship(s), and that’s totally understandable. However, if you let these trust issues eat you up, these will hinder your current relationship’s progress.
You might end up losing the person you love because of these unresolved issues in the past; never let that happen. Have faith in your partner and the love that you have for each other. Live in the present, leave those trust issues behind, and give yourself a chance to be happy- without reservations.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Resolve Trust Issues in a Relationship
You may be the type of person who easily gets jealous or the one who only gets jealous when there’s an explicit reason to do so. Whatever the case may be, jealousy is part of human nature. It is normal to feel jealous if you love a person because you do not want to lose him/her. However, it becomes unhealthy if it makes you overly possessive already. Hence, know when to feel jealous and when not to.
Sometimes, jealousy has a root—probably a trust issue between you or a past cheating incident—so it is a fragile problem to deal with. If you want your relationship to work, you need to be willing to let go and forgive past mistakes. You must also help each other build or rebuild the trust in your relationship by being honest, open, and transparent.
Trust yourself and your partner. When something is bothering you, always tell your partner about it. If needed, set boundaries, but make sure both of you agree with those boundaries. After all, if your partner loves you that much, he or she will not give you any reason to feel jealous.
ALSO READ: 12 Ways to Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship
Insecurities are connected to jealousy issues. In fact, insecurity can be a source of jealousy. It can range from “His boss is more beautiful than me” to “She’s too perfect for me”. While it seems unavoidable to have some insecurities, these can kill you and the relationship you have with your partner.
The best thing you can do? Develop a different mindset. Never underestimate yourself. If you really think you need to improve some aspects of yourself, then do something about it. Eat healthily. Do better in your career. Be mature enough to work on your insecurities. Your partner can always say you’re the best person he or she has ever met, but everyone has limits, so try to help yourself too.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship
6. Lack of time for each other
One of the usual causes of lovers’ quarrels is the lack of time together. Some people could become so busy with their careers that they can barely free themselves to see their beaus. Unless their partners are very understanding, the time will come that this could trigger animosity in the other person, which could lead to a gap between them.
Time is an important language of love!
Spending quality time with your partner is one way of showing how much you value him or her. While it’s admirable that you work too hard for your future together, you might regret it when he or she’s already gone.
You both need to understand that it becomes one of your priorities when you chose to commit to a relationship. No matter how busy you are—if you really want your relationship to last—then you have to insert a “babe time” in your hectic schedule. It is best to agree on a specific time (not necessarily for hours and somewhere grand), like a twice a week lunch or dinner together.
Try to always set a schedule. When will you see each other? When will you give your partner a call? When will you two have a getaway? No matter how hectic your schedule is, always make time for your partner because he or she deserves it.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner
7. Too much time spent with each other
On the other hand, being together almost 24/7 could create a big problem too. Doing together all the time could rob you both of the chance to grow personally and explore individual opportunities. You also have to remember that there are other relationships that you need to give time to, like your family and friendships.
If you have noticed that your world seems to revolve around your partner already, then it is time to consider balancing your life because this is unhealthy. You need to agree on setting a “me time” and a time to spend with your own families and circles of friends. Also, give each other the freedom to embrace career opportunities, meet new people, and enjoy hobbies on your own.
8. Creating a harmonious relationship with families
Meeting and winning the hearts of your beloved’s family could be challenging, especially if you are not their ideal partner for their son/daughter. Likewise, you could find his/her family annoying or hard to deal with. Now, you have to understand that if you married your boyfriend/girlfriend, his/her family would be your family too.
You cannot choose nor change your partner’s family. As much as possible, both of you should work to get closer to each other’s parents and siblings. If friction cannot be avoided between you and your partner’s family (or your partner and your family), being respectful and civil with them is the least possible.
9. Blending in with circles of friends
Yes. Friends. Your partner may have some friends you don’t like. Or, your partner has too many friends that he or she hangs out with that sometimes, you don’t know what or who really his or her priority is. It’s alright; you have the right to feel that way. However, know that you don’t own your partner’s life.
You may not like them all, and not all of them may like you too, but at least you should do your part in the meeting and treating them right.
Talk about compromises, but don’t stop him from meeting people and doing other things. Both of you need to make an effort to get to know each other’s friends. Try to meet his or her friends. Do some fun activities in which you can invite both of your friends, like a barbecue party or a beach outing. So long as they are not doing any harm to your partner, then try to welcome them because they’re part of your partner’s life.
10. Differences in personalities, beliefs, and values
Being separate individuals, it is normal for couples to have different or even opposing personalities, beliefs, and values. There will be times when these differences could lead to conflicts and even serious fights. One of the usual reasons marriages fail is because of irreconcilable differences.
You may be partners, but you are still two unique individuals who may have different views about life, love, happiness, etc. Whether she’s a liberal and you’re a conservative is fine. Problems only come in when you do not listen to and respect his or her views.
The keyword? Respect!
Acknowledge your partner’s beliefs and principles. As early as now, you must confront those conflicting values and traits you have and decide to meet half ways. You don’t need to agree with your partner; you can always voice out your thoughts, but do not force your partner to change their principles and be a different person for you.
It may not happen over time, but as long as both of you are willing to adjust and respect, then you can be peacefully together.
11. Thrill and attraction stage over
After months or a year, you may not find your relationship that romantic anymore. The sparks could be gone, and you may even grow tired of being together. This is because your relationship is probably done with the attraction phase by that time.
However, this does not mean that love is already over between you. You have just reached that stage when your relationship is not based on fleeting emotions anymore. When this happens, you and your partner must intentionally make your bond work by setting regular dates and giving more effort to make each other feel special.
Make an effort to stay sweet and thoughtful. Don’t take your partner for granted just because you think you have already proven your love for them by staying in the relationship.
Try to do something exciting from time to time, and don’t let your partner feel that being in a relationship with you is not fun. Travel together, try new things, and meet new people.
12. Broken promises
Relationship problems may start from a failed “I’ll see you tomorrow” to a broken promise “I will never do it again.” While it’s so easy for others to throw a promise, your partner may be quite sensitive when it comes to making promises. If you can’t fulfill your small promises, then the more that you can’t keep the big ones.
Don’t promise something that you know you can’t fulfill. Besides, you can always express your love through actions. Remember that actions are louder than words.
Cheating is one of the worst issues that a relationship could face. It is usually the fatal blow that could destroy what you have been building together in many cases. And even if reconciliation happens, the mending process might take years or even a lifetime.
Once you betray your partner, it would be too hard for you to gain his or her trust back. It would even be harder to keep things back to normal and maintain a happy and healthy relationship.
To protect your relationship from infidelity, both of you should have a clear understanding of the commitment you have been involved in. Talk about how you can practice honesty and transparency as partners. If you are in the stage of recuperating from this issue, then the best medicine is forgiveness (if you were the victim) or repentance with sincere change (if you made the mistake).
Never cheat on your partner, but if you just did, accept the consequences. Be patient enough, and constantly pursue him or her. Show your partner why you are still worthy of his or her love. Take the long road if you’re willing to win him or her back.
ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Save Your Relationship from a Breakup
14. Intimate stuff
Do you have different sexual preferences? Is there a lack of intimacy because your partner seems too busy with his or her job? Or, is your partner not as clingy as you are that you sometimes feel he is too distant from you?
The key is to stay open to each other. Speak out when you feel uncomfortable with what he or she wants. Tell him or her when you feel you’re not getting the attention you deserve. Be honest if you feel unattractive or unappreciated because of the way he acts or treats you. Only then that you can both come up with compromises.
It Takes Two to Tango
Keeping a relationship strong requires commitment and determination from both parties. You and your loved one must work hand-in-hand to surpass the challenges your relationship goes through. If no one gives up, then achieving that love that lasts a lifetime will be possible.
Indeed, no relationship is easy. Your partner can be your source of joy, but the same person can be your source of pain. However, believe in you and believe in your partner. You are stronger than those problems. Remember that it takes two brave hearts to make the relationship work.
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Books recommended for you:
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Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose.
- Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.