How do you usually react to the problems in your relationship? Do you get angry? Do you feel frustrated and helpless? Do you easily give up? Or do you do something to fix whatever it is that is broken? The truth is, only a few people actually know how to survive the greatest challenges in their relationships, while most end up saying goodbye to their love stories with a broken heart – and you should learn from this.
Whenever you are faced with the most challenging obstacles, a break up is not always the answer – even if you think that it’s the only way to stop your heart from hurting.
If you are currently caught between saving your relationship and ending it, this article will help you take the right step.
Here are some inspiring tips on how to solve relationship problems without breaking up.
1. Accept the fact that you don’t have a perfect relationship.
You’re not in a fantasy world and your love story will never be as perfect as what you read in fairy tales – and it’s okay. A part of fixing the problems in your relationship is recognizing that what you have is not perfect – and it doesn’t have to be.
Accept the fact that you and your partner are just humans capable of making the wrong decisions. Don’t end the relationship just because you did something wrong, or your partner took a wrong turn. Talk about the real issues, acknowledge that you do make mistakes, and learn from them.
2. Talk about the problems that are affecting your relationship.
Communication is the golden key to making a relationship last, especially when trying to solve a problem that affects both of you. Talk about it first and try to understand what went wrong. It’s best if you discuss the issues together instead of trying to fight and play the blame game.
Even if it’s just one person who made a mistake, you both have a role to play in fixing it. You apologize, you forgive, you give second chances, and you learn from your shortcomings.
3. Never let the idea of breaking up enter the conversation.
“Let’s just end this”, “let’s break up”, these are the phrases that can be the most painful part of trying to solve a relationship problem. No matter how emotional or hurt you feel, never let the idea of ending your relationship be a part of the conversation.
Don’t give up just yet especially if you still want to fix it. Even if you think that saying these things will make you feel better, it won’t. It will just add another thorn to an already aching heart.
4. Stop putting all the blame on your partner.
As mentioned before, don’t play the blame game. When your partner does something wrong or when you are facing a problem in your relationship, consider these two possibilities: one, whatever your partner did may be a reaction of how you treated them, and two, you’re partly responsible for what happens next.
Evaluate yourself as a partner. Are you doing your part? What do you think are the factors that drove your significant other to make these mistakes? Could you have done something to prevent them?
However, also keep in mind that there are really times when even if you did everything right, some people won’t just do their part and mess up. In such cases, you should never blame yourself. Know when you are right and know when you are already being taken advantage of.
5. Take a break and spend the time to cool off.
When talking and conversations don’t make a difference, it’s time to rely on one simple yet effective solution: silence. There are just things that cannot be solved by using words. Sometimes, the comforts of solitude and silence can help couples calm their emotions and collect their thoughts.
If you think you both deserve a break from each other, it’s okay. Just make sure that when you’re finally ready to face the problem, you take them on together.
6. Be patient, be more understanding, and have a little more faith.
When your relationship problems are further burdened by being in a long distance relationship, you have to rely on three important qualities: patience, understanding, and faith.
Don’t break up just because you are too impatient. Give your relationship a chance to adjust to an LDR, and most importantly, have a little more faith in your partner. Why would you give up if your significant other is doing everything to make it work?
7. Don’t let other people’s judgment influence your decisions.
While it’s good to ask advice and help from other people, the only ones who can really fix the problems in your relationship are the both of you.
As long as you know that you are treating your partner right and you are doing your part, then you should have the confidence to reject other people’s judgment about your relationship – especially if these pieces of advice contradict how you truly feel.
8. Don’t turn to your vices for temporary remedies.
When people have relationship problems, they usually turn to their vices for temporary comforts: drinking, smoking, and even flirting with other girls/guys. While they can make you feel better somehow, imagine how much damage they can do to an already dying relationship?
Don’t take this road if you still want to save your relationship from breaking up. Face your problems head on, and face them as a couple. Alone, you are weak and vulnerable. But together, you’re unstoppable.
9. Never use your words as weapons to hurt your partner.
Words are powerful. They can be as beautiful as flowers but can also be as deadly as a knife. Use them wisely, especially if you’re trying to fix a problem in your relationship. Never use them as weapons to hurt the person you love just because you’re angry – because if you do, there is no turning back.
Choosing the wrong words can lead to a breakup. At the same time, choosing the right one can save your relationship. These choices will always be there every time you fight or argue. Make sure to pick the right one.
Even if you don’t have the perfect love story, it’s important that you hold on to your relationship especially if you think that you’ve finally found the one. Problems will always be there to challenge your bond, so make sure that you are ready and strong to face them all. Don’t give up!