While some fights are simple and too powerless to ruin a beautiful love story, there are types of arguments that can cause even the most committed couples to break up. For instance, triggers such as lack of trust, infidelity, overprotectiveness, and clinginess can easily weaken a long-term relationship – most especially if it’s a long-distance relationship.
If you are currently in an LDR and would want to know if your arguments are slowly destroying your relationship, answer these questions first: Did your previous misunderstandings change something about your relationship? Do you feel that something is different after failing to properly fix an argument? Lastly, do you think that things will never be the same again after what happened during those fights?
If you answered YES to even just one of these questions, then you do need help. Here are some tips on how to fix a long distance relationship after a fight.
1. Give yourself and your partner time to cool off.
Any argument with the person you love can be draining, emotionally and physically – so don’t expect them to be in their best mood even if you think that you already resolved the issue.
The things you did or the words you said to each other can hurt like a sharp knife, so make sure to let the wounds heal first.
2. Once you’re both ready, don’t leave any topic untouched.
Once you’re ready to talk about what happened, make sure that you resolve every doubt and answer every question that came out of the argument. If these issues are unaddressed, it will just be a matter of time until they come back to haunt your relationship again.
3. Avoid mentioning anything that can trigger another argument.
Never start another argument while talking about the lessons that you learned from your previous fight. Make sure that you are in an understanding and cooperative mood, rather than in a defensive and overly-sensitive state. Remember, you’re talking about the issue for it not to happen again – not to start another fight and prove that your partner was at fault.
4. Explain your side and let your partner talk about his, too.
Make sure that both of your sides were discussed and understood. Don’t dominate the conversation. Just admit the fact that both of you were at fault. Give each other a chance to explain and understand why you both did what you did.
5. Stop trying to put the blame on your partner alone.
While the action of your partner may have caused the fight, it doesn’t mean that they should be solely blamed for what happened. What if how you reacted also made the situation worse? What if your inability to listen made the argument more draining? What if your words made it toxic and hurtful?
6. Talk about preventive measures to stop igniting a similar fight.
Make sure that the cause of your argument and misunderstanding won’t happen again in the future because aside from the fact that it can be draining, it can slowly kill an already dying long distance relationship.
Remember that you are so far away from each other and arguing about the same topics can make your partner feel that your relationship is not going anywhere but down.
7. Remind them how much they are loved and how they matter.
Any fight can make your partner feel unloved and alone, so make sure that regardless of what happened, you give them the assurance that it did not cause your love for them to fade away.
Remind them that even after this misunderstanding, you still want them as a partner, a friend and a companion for life.
8. Appreciate their patience and their understanding towards what happened.
Appreciate the effort that they made just to fix the relationship, especially after the fight. You are both human beings capable of making mistakes, and what matters is you learn from them and that you do something to make sure that they won’t ruin your love story again.
9. Learn your lessons and make sure to remember them.
Sometimes, fights are reminders that no matter how much you love each other, there will always be challenges along the way. These circumstances are not waste of time and emotion. Rather, they are lessons that you should always learn from.
10. Make an effort and do something to make up for what happened.
Just like how your partner made the effort to try and fix the relationship after a fight, do your part and also make them feel that what you have together is important to you.
Do something sweet or special, or maybe send them something that will cheer them up.
11. Do everything to bring back the sweetness in your relationship.
Don’t let the fight become the most dominant memory that you have while you are away from each other. Do everything to bring back the love, the sweetness and the romance in your relationship.
Remind them of your love story and how you fell in love. Remind them that your relationship is not there to hurt them, but it’s there to make them happy.
12. Finally, apologize for hurting each other.
Last but the most important advice is, you should make a sincere and genuine apology for what happened. Apologize for the hurtful things that you said just because you were hurt and angry. Say sorry about the things that you did just because you did not know how they would make your partner feel. Apologize for your immature decisions and how you reacted.
This part is very important because it shows that you are willing to be vulnerable, to open up and to admit that you did something wrong. It also shows that you truly love your partner because you are willing to admit that you’re an imperfect human being.
Remember that after a fight, it’s not easy to forgive and forget right away. Emotions during and after an intense fight can be overwhelming and can leave some people numb to the point that they’re not sure about what to say or how to feel.
However, never doubt your partner’s love for you just because they don’t want to talk or they choose to stay quiet first. Respect their silence and give them enough time to recover.