How To Tell Someone You Like Them Without Scaring Them Away

How To Tell Someone You Like Them
Photo by JillWellington

Admitting that you actually like someone is one thing; telling the person you like is a completely new experience. It all depends on how you feel about the person and whether they like you back. It can be quite awkward, especially if you are friends (or close to being friends) with the person and not just acquaintances.

Yes, it’s hard, but with the right advice and encouragement, you’ll definitely have the strength to do these tips.

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How Do You Know You Really Like Them?

1. If they’re always on your mind, and you can’t get them out of it.

2. You can’t stop thinking of ways to spend more time with them.

3. You just have a gut feeling that you like this person, without any reason why.

4. When you see them, you don’t want to let go—it feels like when they leave, something or someone is missing…

5. If your friends see that you are too serious about this person than usual.

6. If your heart flutters whenever he/she calls or texts you.

7. You feel jealous whenever they’re with another person.

8. You find yourself smiling more whenever you see them or talk to them.

9. If your opinion of them has changed positively.

10. You want to tell them how you feel about them.

Check out the differences between a crush and a friend

Should I Tell My Crush I Like Them Now? You Have To Ensure …

1. You talk or text with them often, and they enjoy spending time with you

You should try to talk with them more before telling them you like them.

If you know them pretty well and think they’ll like it if you tell them, then go for it! But if not, try spending more time with them and get to know each other first before telling the person about how you feel about them.

2. They are free to date

You should know whether the person is available, not married, or dating someone. Telling them will be hard if they’re already with someone else.

3. They’re trustworthy and mature

You should know that the person is responsible and will not tell anyone else about your feelings for them. If this person is really trustworthy and likes you too, then talk about it with no hesitation! But if they seem immature or irresponsible, try finding someone else who will not hurt you.

4. You are sure about your feelings towards them

Telling someone how you feel about them takes guts. Be absolutely one hundred percent certain of your feelings before doing so! If you’re not sure about your feelings, then you should give yourself some more time.

5. You both enjoy spending time together

If you like someone who likes hanging around with other people, then this isn’t going to work out. But if the person seems comfortable spending time with just you and likes doing so, then it is okay to talk about your feelings towards them. Just make sure that he/she will not get

enjoy together
Source: Jason Goodman

6. Be yourself, but be more confident

Don’t forget to show confidence when telling someone how much they mean to you. Of course, being yourself is the best way to convey your message, but a little confidence will make you stronger and more attractive.

7. Know your crush’s personality very well

Think about their likes and dislikes before telling them how you feel about them. Are they shy? How does he/she feel when someone says “I love you”? Do they seem serious, open, happy, or uncomfortable by sudden changes? When do they smile? What music do they listen to? Does she/he like talking about their feelings to others?

Know your crush’s personality! This will help you know what he/she wants and what is important to him/her. In addition, you can use this information to boost the chances of your crush saying “yes” if that person likes you too.

8. You are ready to take the risk and move on with your life

If they say no, then that’s okay! If they say yes, then great!

You know that they are trustworthy and will not hurt you in any way.

If they say no, thank you, that’s okay! At least you tried telling someone how you feel about them. Tell yourself that it wasn’t meant to be—at least for now. You are mature enough to take this risk and move on with your life if they say no.

Check out how to get your crush to notice you.

How To Tell Someone You Like Them
Photo by AdinaVoicu

What to Prepare to Tell The One You Like Them

Make sure you have your heart ready for this moment.

Prepare yourself mentally to hear their answer, even if it is not a good one.

You should prepare what exactly you are going to say to them before talking with them. The more prepared you are, the easier it will be!

Here are some things to consider before you take the plunge:

1. Make sure you look your best when going to talk with them.

You should look your best when going to talk with him or her. This gives a positive impression and helps you feel more confident to share how you feel!

You don’t have to be dressed up or anything, but you want to look your best!

Being well-groomed will help with the calm and comfortable feeling. Brush your teeth, put on some nice deodorant, comb your hair, and take care of any spots that might be showing on your face or other body parts.

If you are wearing something that would make you feel more confident about telling them, wear it! You can even dress up if you’d like – just remember to keep it simple. Don’t overdo it with flashy jewelry or tight clothes because those things might send off the wrong message.

2. Stay calm and don’t panic!

Once you start talking about your feelings towards him/her, be calm and remember that it is okay if he/she does not feel the same way. Stay calm and collected—if you can’t do that, go somewhere else to talk with them until you’ve calmed down.

3. Think about what will happen if they say “no.”

They might not feel the same way as much as you like them. So think about what will happen after you tell them how much they mean to you, and if they say no in return… Are you okay with that? Will it affect your friendship at all?

Telling someone isn’t going to be an easy conversation anyway, so we want to make sure that you’re prepared for the “worst” if it doesn’t go well.

4. Prepare what you’re going to say before you talk with them.

Practice makes perfect!

Write down exactly what you want to say. It’s always good to rehearse what you want to say before saying it in front of them.

It’s easy to forget what you want to say when you’re telling someone how you feel about them, especially if this is happening for the first time.

If you do forget some of your words while talking with him, don’t panic or start stuttering. Instead, take a deep breath and tell him the rest as best as you can.

The most important thing in this moment is honesty. Most people will understand whether it’s an awkward situation or not, so try not to think too much.

The more familiar and comfortable talking about your feelings becomes, the easier it will be when you find the right time and place to tell your crush how you feel about them.

5. Realize that a rejection is not a big deal.

If he/she says no to you, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you or that you did something wrong.

It just means that your relationship is not moving forward in the direction you hoped it would be.

How bad can a rejection really be? It’s only one day of feeling sad or upset—and it will probably pass by quickly.

It might seem easier said than done, but try to remember: Everybody has been rejected at some point in their lives, so don’t take it personally and move on before crying over him or her too much after the fact.

6. Smile!

Smile! Your smile is important because it helps you relieve nervousness, and a smiling cheerful face makes you more attractive to the person you’re telling.

smile
Source: Warren Wong

7. Choose the right time, the right place

You don’t want to be interrupted, and you don’t want to be distracted. Choose a quiet location where the two of you can talk without being disturbed and keeping your conversation private—this will help you feel more comfortable and relaxed.

8. Don’t dump your feelings on them all at once

You might be ready to tell them how much they mean to you, but do not over reveal every detail about your feelings all at once. It might be that your feelings are too strong, and if you dump all of those feelings on them at one time, they will feel overloaded and not know how to handle it.

When you’re telling them about your feelings, it might take a while. So don’t dump all of the information on them in one long-winded story; give them bits and pieces so they can process what is happening. It will be easier for both of you that way.

How To Tell Someone You Like Them
Photo by icsilviu

12 Ways to Tell Someone You Like Them

1. Assess your feelings for them.

The first step in deciding whether you feel like you want to tell them how you feel is to assess your feelings.

Are you in love with him? Or do you just like him as a friend?

Are they your best friend, or do you see yourself being friends with them in the future?

Do they make you laugh and smile?

Are there any other signs of care, attraction, or infatuation that make it worth telling them?

Don’t tell someone how much they mean to you unless it’s enough to be worth the risk. This is a big step because after telling them, there’s no going back.

Spend some time alone and think about how you feel.

Your feeling for them may change over time, and so your decision might change as well.

If your feelings for them are real, then it will be ok.

2. Start simple conversations with them.

Just be friendly and have a normal conversation about anything: sports or schoolwork or what happened that day.

Talk about the things you have in common.

Then, once you feel comfortable around them and your conversation goes smoothly, you can start to talk about your feelings.

By having these small conversations, you will get to know the person you like even more and eventually him.

It will also help you to remember that the person is a friend and not just something more.

You can move on from there to tell them how you feel about them.

conversation
Source: Priscilla Du Preez

3. Don’t build up the experience in your mind.

When it’s time to tell them, don’t try Imagining the experience dramatic or something big and life-changing.

It will only make you nervous as well as them. Instead, take a deep breath and remember everything you want to say.

No matter how amazing your crush is, they are still human beings with their own emotions. Try to understand the awkwardness they might be feeling because of this.

Avoid being too emotionally invested in a relationship where it hasn’t even started yet.

4. Let the other have time to think about it.

The best reaction is no reaction, at least not right away. You don’t want them to feel pressured to say yes or no before deciding what they really want.

So give them some space so that you can let your feelings sink in. If he or she does like you back, then they will be thinking about how to respond anyway; if he doesn’t feel the same way, then you’ve probably already put enough pressure on him by asking him out, and now he just needs some time to make his decision without feeling pressured.

Afterward, try spending time together as friends again because this is a great way to re-establish communication and get past any awkwardness.

thinking
Source Léa Dubedout

5. Show interest in the things he’s passionate about.

This doesn’t mean that you have to force yourself into liking what your crush does, but you can be interested in how he feels when he talks about it, what his talent is, and why he likes it.

If your crush knows that you’re interested in his interests outside of him, then it will make a great impression on him.

They will know you want to get to know them as more than just as a friend and as a person; they will feel like you’re truly listening to them and actually care about what they have to say rather than just trying to impress them with your attention.

Such an action really does go a long way toward showing the other person that you think they are special.

6. Do something thoughtful.

When you’re just friends, your crush might not see you as anything more than a friend.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t work on changing his or her mind. Try to help them and show how much you care about them.

Show that you’re interested in them by doing sweet and thoughtful things. It doesn’t have to be so expensive or grand; it’s the thought that counts.

It shows your crush that you’re kind and caring, and let him or her know that they are important enough to do extra things on top of what a normal friend would do, and make the relationship feel special without pressuring him or her into giving anything back just yet.

7. Just be yourself.

Don’t act differently just because you’re trying to impress the other person or tell them how you feel. You should be who you are and not who someone else wants you to be.

Think about how bad your crush would find it if they find out you were to trick them fall in love with you. They’ll probably lose respect for you, and that may ruin any chance you had of a future relationship.

You want someone who will accept all your flaws and imperfections, and that wouldn’t show if you’re hiding it.

If you’re sincere and confident, your crush will likely love the real you too!

8. Open up to them.

It’s tough to establish a connection with someone who doesn’t even know you.

If your crush already has an idea of the real you, then it can make it easier for them to like you – and like the real you too!

So don’t be afraid to share things about yourself. If they really do like the person inside, they will appreciate your honesty rather than feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed by how much shared information there is.

After all, sharing isn’t just caring; it’s also bonding because when you open up about yourself and show that person the real “you,” he or she can see more sides of your personality and learn more about what makes you tick.

9. Compliment them.

If you want to let your crush know that you see his or her good traits, then compliment them!

Give compliments that are specific and sincere.

Don’t just say stuff like “you’re really nice” because it doesn’t convey anything about the person.

Instead, look for things about him/her that you admire and put an emphasis on it by saying something like “love how selfless you are.” This shows that their positive qualities stand out to you, and they’ll notice.

You can try to compliment your crush on something that they did or said.

Some other examples: “Your passion for animals is so inspiring.” or “I always admire how open-minded you are in different situations.”

Make sure not to overdo it, though; too many compliments can sound insincere or make your crush think there’s something wrong with him/her.

This shows them that you pay attention to what they do and appreciate it, which helps foster a feeling of closeness between the two of you.

Do your best to give genuine compliments.

happy girl
Source

10. Change your mindset.

The hardest part about confessing your feelings to someone is worrying that they won’t like you back or that they’ll reject you.

If the thought of rejection is stopping you from doing something, then it’s time to change how you think about this situation.

Confront your own thoughts and look for ways to reassure yourself instead. For example, remind yourself that no one can force feelings upon someone else.

It is also important to remind yourself that even though there may be a chance of rejection, it doesn’t mean that this person won’t like you back. Your crush may probably be happy that you’re so honest and brave.

Think about it like this: If someone says “no thanks” after you confess your feelings, at least they know how much you care – which means they’ve gained something too and shouldn’t feel bad about saying no.

Your crush should feel bad if nobody ever likes him/her enough to make them fall in love in their life.

11. Be bold.

When you are finally ready to tell a guy how you feel, take courage.

Go for it!

It’s much better to know you’ve been honest with someone and be rejected than to be dishonest about your feelings.

Besides, if you don’t try, you’ll never know if he/she is the one who will make you happy and start the relationship of your dreams. And remember that honesty is always the best policy.

12. Accept rejection.

While it’s important to be honest and confident while confessing, remember that you can’t control whether your crush says yes or no.

You want them to say yes, but honestly, there is a possibility they’re not going to!

There will definitely be someone who loves you back out there for you; don’t worry, you’re going to find the right person for yourself!

If your crush doesn’t want to date you, then there won’t be much else you can do. But don’t stop looking and keep trying because it will work out one day.

Being rejected is not the end of the world!

Sometimes the best way we learn is by doing something and having it not work out to learn from our mistakes.

Look on the bright side: each rejection teaches you a lesson that will help you in the future.

How To Tell Someone You Like Them
Photo by TomasHa73

How to tell someone you like them without scaring them away?

If you like someone but have a fear of scaring them away, here are the ways to show them that you’re interested without scaring them off.

1. Be their friend first.

The main thing here is not to scare them away by telling them too soon. You need to make sure that he’s comfortable with you first.

Take some time to get to know each other first truly.

Spend a lot of quality time together, try to find out if they are the person you think they are. And you can learn more about them by just hanging out as friends first.

After getting to know each other for over a while or so, it will be easier to tell them how you feel because the foundation of friendship between the two of you is already built and strong.

friends
Source

2. Do not be clingy and all over them.

Try giving the right amount of attention and time to your crush. But don’t be so clingy that your crush can’t even breathe with you. Instead, you need to give them a little space.

You need to balance everything out so that you can show your interest without being all over your crush or calling or texting non-stop.

3. Keep your feelings low-key.

If you’re getting really giddy, as if hearing the word “yes” will make you literally jump out of your skin, then you should keep yourself in check.

Don’t go all crazy on them because it might seem weird or scary to them, and they will most likely reject you right away. If you need to run up and down your house screaming about how excited you are for wanting someone’s affections, then do so alone inside your room so that no one can hear you.

Keep your inner excitement within yourself; just be cool and try not to overdo it when it comes to talking with them or hanging out with them more often than

4. Show your interest by doing what he loves to do.

If there’s something that you know he likes or would like to try, tell them that you will go with them or try it with them. They will feel happy and want to spend more time with someone who shares the same interest.

If you try to do what he loves to do, they will think that you are interested in them and lead them to like you more.

5. Give small compliments about them

Give compliments on small things like their laugh, eyes, smile, etc., just whatever comes off naturally when you talk to them. Don’t try giving awkward compliments because it’s not going to work if it feels forced. Instead, give real and honest ones since they will notice you’re talking sincerely and not for some ulterior motive.

They will feel good and will think that you’re a good friend to them. After all, people appreciate others who give compliments about them or something they like.

6.  Flirt with them.

You can try to flirt with them a little if you feel comfortable doing so, but don’t turn it into something scary by overdoing it!

Be subtle about flirting, give a little eye contact, and smile.

Keep it light, and don’t get all serious with your flirting; it will scare them away for sure! You want to let them know that you are interested in them, not trying to go on a date right away.

And when the moment is right, then tell them how you feel about them. But make sure that you have his full attention first so he won’t take off running in the other direction.

girl flirting
Source

7. Watch for the signs if they like you too.

If you notice that your crush is sending you subtle signs telling them that they like you, you should give all the attention and love back to them.

Here are the signs your crush likes you.

8. Don’t confess too much.

Just let things flow naturally. Telling your crush that you really like them can just scare them away if he is not ready to hear it, so don’t rush into telling them right away.

You want to show that you are confident in yourself without seeming too whacky or desperate.

Trying to be cute but not pushing it out there will show them that you’re fun and interested without being too embarrassing or overbearing.

Be confident about yourself. It will make them feel that you are mature and not childish. Even if he isn’t immediately attracted to you, showing confidence can help them feel at ease and open up more to the possibility of dating.

9. Try to impress your crush.

You can try to impress them to catch their eyes sights and make them see that you are worthy of their attention.

And if they start to notice you more positively, it will lead to liking and caring for you more instead of just being friends.

Most importantly, be yourself but make sure that there’s an awesome layer underneath all the excitement. Being a clown may seem the right way at first, but your crush will realize that you’re doing too much work and might not want a ton of attention from your end. After all, no one wants to date a clown!

Check out here to learn how to impress your crush.

How to use body language to tell someone you like them without words

The best way to show someone you like is to use body language when talking with them. So, you should learn how to read the signals your body sends out.

1. Eye contact a lot!

When you like someone, your eyes will naturally be drawn to them.  Making a lot of eye contact is an easy way to show that you are interested in what they are saying and want to get closer.

Ensure that they are the only ones you are looking at when speaking or listening to them.

Make sure you maintain an average amount of eye contact not to make it seem forced or awkward on their part.

More eye contact can show confidence, and it might get your crush’s attention too!

eye contact
Source

2. Get closer to them.

Stand a bit closer than what you normally would with another person, but not so close that they will feel uncomfortable about it.

Make sure that you don’t crowd their space by standing way too close because they see that you’re being aggressive about getting near to them.

This is a subtle way to show them that you want to be close to them and not afraid of expressing your feelings.

3. Touch them lightly when possible.

If he likes you too, he will enjoy being touched by you because it shows affection and trust make them feel safe when they are with someone they like.  Try touching his arm gently or back for encouragement when talking about something important or just walking together in the hallways at school.

Try lightly touching their hand or shoulder during the conversation not to seem too pushy that they know that there is something special between the two of you.

4. Smile a lot!

It’s a subconscious thing that makes people want to spend time with those smiling because they feel happier when they are around others smiling.

A lot of smiling during a conversation shows that you like the person you are talking to; it also gives off a certain amount of confidence that they might be attracted to.

This is something that usually people do when they are nervous so try not to overdo it because it can make you look silly or crazy. But if done in moderation can show good things about your character and your personality.  Also, don’t smile too drastically because it will seem fake and just weird!

5. Lean in their direction when they are talking

Leaning toward your crush shows that you’re paying attention and trying to get closer to them physically.

You can subtly lean forward in your seat (without being too pushy) when sitting near them.

It shows that you’re open and excited about listening to what they have to say, instead of looking bored or uncomfortable because of how close they are.

6. Give them a gift.

Giving a guy that you like a gift can be one of the most powerful tools if used correctly.

If you’re going to give them a gift, make sure that it isn’t anything too personal or private unless he tells you about something he has been wanting.

Giving the one you like a gift will clue them in that you are interested. Make sure it is something they want (something special that he’s mentioned) so it doesn’t seem like you just gave them anything.

Make sure to give your gift privately. Do not embarrass yourself in front of others while giving gifts.

The one thing about giving gifts is, don’t give too many too early; wait until they know your feelings before there are any expensive gifts involved!

gift
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7. Share your snacks with them.

This is a way to show them that they are important enough for you to offer them some of your snacks.

Sharing a snack with someone you like shows that you want them to be near you and enjoy your company.

It also allows for feelings of togetherness and intimacy. Sharing a bite at the same time indicates that there is a connection between the two of you.

Break your cookie in half, share the same pack of potato chips with them, etc.

8. Wearing their favorite color.

Wearing the color that he likes on you is a great way to show them how much you have paid attention to what they like. If he likes red, wear red. If he likes green, wear green.

It’s a subtle way of letting them know that you care about how he feels.

It also shows that you are trying to get closer to this person by dressing as they might to draw their attention toward you and acknowledge your presence in front of them.

Should I tell my crush I like them over text?

No! It is never a good idea to tell someone over text that you like them.

I know many people would prefer to tell someone they like them via text because it’s low-pressure and takes the pressure off of dealing with an awkward situation if they turn them down in real life.

You should tell them in person because it’s more intimate and personal. Messaging someone you like over text can easily be misinterpreted.

One of the problems with telling someone via text is that since texting isn’t face-to-face communication, you have minimal non-verbal cues. As a result, you cannot convey your tone by text, and so it looks like you may be coming off differently than intended.  Sometimes, when we talk one-on-one with someone, we get a sense of their reaction, and we can adjust our own.

Through texting, you do not have that same type of feedback. Instead, you rely on the person to correctly interpret it and understand what you mean to say in a certain way.

So, if possible, try to tell them in person. If not, over the phone or at least FaceTime, or something similar where there is a lower chance for miscommunication!

texting
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If They Reject you after Telling them You Like Them.

If they reject you, don’t let it get to you on a personal level. They might just not be ready for a relationship or have other reasons.

If they reject you, continue to be your wonderful self and try again!

Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and if you don’t hook this one, it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost!

This rejection can teach you something important about yourself. It may be as small as knowing what type of person would be right for you. Or maybe how to improve on your social skills with others.

How To Tell Someone You Like Them
Photo by StockSnap

1. Show them your confidence by saying “thank you.”

Thank your crush even if they reject you.

Even though it can be hard, saying thank you even if you feel awkward will show your confidence. And this is the best way to show them you are a mature, charming person.

And you are actually giving them more space and time to think it over!  It will show that you will not pester them, but you are there if they want to talk about your feelings or relationship.

It also shows that you respect their choice and opinion.   It’s a mature way of dealing with rejection in a positive manner.

If you show them that you are confident and mature, they will be more open to talking with you again in the future.

2. Don’t take it personally!

If they reject you, don’t take it personally.  It doesn’t mean that it’s about you but rather them.

Maybe they are already in a relationship, or there could be other reasons why the two of you wouldn’t work out in the long run.

Don’t try to force yourself on them if they reject you as a sign of depression or low self-esteem – it won’t make things any better.  Instead, focus on your weaknesses and strengths when trying to attract your crush in the first place!

Remember, if they reject you once, it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost! There are plenty more fish in the sea, so continue to show confidence and effort.

You did nothing wrong by telling your crush that you like them, so don’t be upset when they reject you.

3. Don’t make them feel sorry.

If they say no, don’t make them feel sorry or guilty for accepting your feelings.

Avoid saying things like: “But I love you so much.” Or, “Isn’t there any chance?”  It’s offensive to make someone feel bad for not liking you back.

Remember how hard it is to reject people! Don’t put them in a bad spot just because of your needs!

Try to move on and keep looking until finding someone who wants what YOU want!

Please understand that everyone is unique, and you should never want someone who doesn’t want to be with YOU!

4. Remember why your crush rejected you.

If they don’t accept your love, it’s because you are not ready to be in a relationship.  Maybe they don’t have the same feelings towards you, or they just aren’t interested at all, or they feel like the timing is wrong.

Try to give them more space to think things over.   They may still come around eventually and realize that they love you back!

5. Don’t retract your words.

It’s NOT a good idea to say something like, “Oh, haha, I was just kidding.” if they reject you.

If you like them, show confidence and grace.   Whether or not they are interested in you, don’t take it personally because of your feelings!  You can continue to be friends with them after letting them know how you feel.

Don’t retract your words if they reject you and just pretend everything is okay, what was said previously as a joke.

Try to remain genuine and honest to yourself and the person you like.  Or else, it will all be a big mess of confusion and harm your relationships in the future.

6. Move on.

Continue to enjoy yourself and find love with someone who wants what YOU want.

There’s nothing wrong with being single; it means that you get to spend time focusing on yourself and your life goals before jumping into another relationship again!

Also, move on to something else, such as doing activities where you can make new friends while having fun! It will help distract you from your crush rejecting you.

The most important thing is to show confidence and grace, be positive instead of upset or sad, and always remember how much you have to offer!

And remember, your crush rejecting you doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world.

Furthermore, don’t take it personally if they reject you because everyone deserves to find love with someone who wants what YOU want.

Don’t force yourself on them but rather focus on your weaknesses and strengths when trying to attract your crush in the first place to improve on those things.

7. Learn the things to do if your crush rejected you.

Check out the things to do if your crush rejected you.

Bottom line

It can be tough to tell someone you like them.  Especially you don’t know if they’re interested or not in the same things that you are.

You should find some helpful tips for finding out if you really like them?

If you really like them, when should you tell them?

What to prepare if you decide to tell them?

How to tell them when you are ready? You can even try subtle ways to tell them without scaring them away or using body language.

If it doesn’t go well, you can find tips on how to deal with rejection. The best way to handle rejection is by being confident and mature about it.

If the guy likes you back after coming clean about your feelings, that’s great.

In the end, just be yourself!

Related Article: 12 Ways to Tell a Guy You Like Him

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ALSO READ:

9 Differences Between a Crush and a Friend

Can a Crush Turn Into Love?

Mary Fatima Berongoy
Fatima is a photography enthusiast who loves to binge - watch movies and television series. She also loves listening to indie music and dreams to own a coffee shop one day.
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