16 Good Reasons Not to Fall in Love

girl falling in love
Photo by Fernando Gimenez

Being in love is one of the most beautiful feelings you could ever feel. It could take you to cloud nine and make the world and time standstill. This feeling is so powerful that it could stand against all odds and cause you to swallow your pride.

Nevertheless, like fire, being in love can be either constructive or destructive. If it inspires you to be a better person, then it is something to treasure. On the other hand, if it causes your world to fall apart, then it is tragic.

Love is beautiful and everyone needs it. However, it does not mean that falling in love with anyone, anywhere, and anytime is always right. If your mind tells you it is wrong, then you probably have to listen.

Here are 16 good reasons why you should not fall in love.

1. Your parents want you to finish your studies first.
If you are a student and your parents have set a rule that you should not entertain any romance until you graduate, then you should obey them. You should honor them because they are your parents. Think about how much they work hard just to give you a good future.

ALSO READ: 9 Reasons Why Family is the Best Thing in Your Life

You may ask: Is it wrong to fall in love even if you have no plan of entering a relationship yet? Not really, but it can pose a threat to your concentration as a student since this feeling usually comes with pre-occupation, insomnia, and depression (due to heartaches).

2. You do not have a stable source of income yet.
Once you are in love, you begin to dream of dating the person and even starting a family with him/her. You have to understand that dating is costly—how much more raising a family? Practicality is a must for wise people these days.

3. Being with the person would not lead to a good future.
We do not discriminate nor underestimate anyone. Nevertheless, if, currently, the person you are falling for has no sense of direction for his/her life, then you would not want to dream your future together. It would be better to avoid liking someone who has addictions, vices, or abusive personalities.

I am not saying those kinds of people have no more hope, but until they start changing for good, you better stop yourself from investing emotions in them. You have to think about your future kids and prevent yourself from risking their future.

4. You have not moved on from your past relationship.
It is possible to be attracted to a person while you are still into someone else. Therefore, if you have just come from a painful break up and you have not totally let go of your ex yet, then stop entertaining feelings for another guy/girl. That would be unfair to the new person if you cannot give him/her 100% of your heart.

ALSO READ: 15 Things You Should Never Do After You Break Up with Someone

5. You are not ready for a commitment.
What would happen if the person you are in love with is also in love with you? Soon, you would find yourself together and there is a big chance you could end up being a couple. However, what if you are not ready to be accountable to someone for your decisions and actions yet?

As they say, prevention is better than cure. Therefore, if you know the person has an eye for you but you are still not ready to give up your freedom of singlehood, then you better not reciprocate the feeling.

ALSO READ: 27 Signs You Are Ready For a Relationship

6. The person is committed to someone else.
Your right ends where the right of others begins. You have the right to love, but not with someone who has committed to another person already, unless you are willing to suffer in silence and not do anything to ruin them.

7. You are committed to someone else.
It is definitely wrong to be in love with a person when you are in a relationship with someone else. You are already cheating on your current partner since you are being dishonest with him/her. You are also deceiving yourself.

8. You only know a little about the person.
Liking a stranger is a thrilling experience because s/he seems mysterious. However, this is dangerous as you have little idea of who the person really is. What if s/he is already married or s/he does have a criminal record?

True love is not founded on thrills and adventures. If you want to be wise, then you have to take time to know the person first before allowing your heart to fall for him/her.

Good Reasons Not to Fall in Love
Photo by FabricioMacedoPhotos

9. The person does not have a positive effect on you.
If the person you are in love with causes you to skip classes or be absent at work, or s/he distracts you from achieving your goals, then it is not worth loving him/her. What good would it be if you gain him/her, yet you lose yourself?

Love should motivate you to be a better person. If what you feel for a person is destroying you, then it is not love.

ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Inspire Your Partner to Change for the Better

10. You have different beliefs and principles.
Love as no boundaries, but humans as we are, it is difficult to be committed to someone—let alone share a home with him/her—if you have conflicting faiths and principles. Unless one of you would be willing to conform, keeping your relationship harmonious would be a struggle.

11. You know s/he only flirts with you.
Do not easily fall for someone who gives you the attention and tells you that you are hot. If you are aware that a person only flirts with you or just lingers around for fun, then do not fall for him/her. You would end up broken-hearted.

You would know if a person is only flirting with you if s/he makes you feel special when you are together, yet s/he seems to have no intention of bringing your ‘relationship’ to a serious level.

ALSO READ: Love vs. Lust: 12 Differences You Should Know 

12. You are emotionally immature.
If you fall in love easily and fall out of love easily too, then maybe you are not ready for real love yet. If you break up with your partner just because you do not feel sparks between you anymore, then it is not true love. These are signs of emotional immaturity, and if you keep allowing yourself to fall in love anytime with anyone, then you are only collecting heartaches.

13. The person is emotionally immature.
You may be emotionally mature, but if the signs in #12 are evident in the person you like, then it is better not to be attached to him/her. Even if s/he likes you back, there is no guarantee s/he would stay because his/her feelings might change the next week.

ALSO READ: 10 Ways to be More Mature in a Relationship

14. You want to focus on your career first.
If you are a budding career person, you have to consider the status of your goals if you want to entertain love already. Being in a relationship requires commitment too—like your job or career. It would demand your time, attention, and presence, so if you are not ready to give them yet, then better not fall in love yet.

Focus on one thing at a time so you can avoid frustrations. If your career is just starting and you want to establish it before settling down, then you better dedicate your undivided attention to it for now.

15. The possible relationship would hurt others.
If loving a specific person would hurt other people, then you have to consider if it is worth fighting for. What if your family does not like that someone? What if you are in a relationship with someone who loves you so much, or that person is married and has kids already?

Yes, you have the right to love and be happy, but it should not be at the expense of others’ feelings. You have to be responsible for your actions to avoid harming others, especially those who only care about you.

Good Reasons Not to Fall in Love
Photo by Olichel

16. Falling hurts.
Falling is a downward action that is usually involuntary and breaks things. This is also applicable to falling in love. As you fall for a person, you have no control of your emotions anymore, to the point that sometimes you make wrong decisions.

For that reason, I strongly encourage you to grow—not fall—in love instead. This is beyond physical attraction and fleeting feelings, plus this takes time to happen. This means you choose to love a person after knowing him/her enough through friendship.

Do Not Be Afraid to Love

No matter how many reasons there are not to fall in love, surely there are more reasons why you should give love a chance. Love is the no. 1 thing that keeps life meaningful. Therefore, allow yourself to take risks in love, given the right circumstances.

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Cyril Abello
Joan is a freelance blogger who loves writing about personal development. She also loves learning and teaching languages. A Communication Arts graduate, she now pursues a masters degree in Language Teaching. She is into mobile photography, writing poems, and reading for leisure.
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July 9, 2019 10:53 am

This definitely was very helpful for me in deciding whether to fall in love or not while being a student. As teenagers we all get fascinated by opposite gender, few of them get success both in terms of career and love life while others suffer with heartbreaks and lose their valuable time which they would rather have invested in their personal & professional growth. so, for me this was a very diplomatic chaos that i had to choose to be or not to be in love and be decisive.
This article definitely helped me in getting a lucrative perspective for good and I thank the author here.

December 11, 2018 9:57 pm

this describes your definition of love
with pure respect ofc