A husband is someone whom you will be spending with for the rest of your life. He will be the son-in-law to your parents and the father to your children. He is supposed to be the pillar of your home and the strength of your family.
Marrying the wrong man could mean a lifetime of suffering, not only for you but also for your future children. Unlike breaking up with a boyfriend which can be done in an instant, separation between a husband and a wife is a different thing. Its wound is deeper, its cost is higher, and its impact to the people around you is greater.
Marriage is both a legal and a sacred thing, governed by the law of our land and the law of the heavens. Thus, ladies have to be extra careful in choosing the guy they should marry. This also applies in looking for a boyfriend, since a BF is the closest guy who can be their husband.
To guide you in finding the right guy whom you will be exchanging wedding vows with at the altar, here are 12 signs from the Bible that he’s the man you should marry.
1. He is independent from his parents.
“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, – Mark 10:6-7 (NIV)
Do you like to marry a man who’s still dependent to his daddy and mommy – financially, mentally, and emotionally? Do you like to live in the house of your husband’s parents? Do you want a husband who cannot make a decision without authorization from his parents? Well, the Bible really has a good reason why it wants the husband and wife to be independent from their parents.
A responsible husband doesn’t need to be a millionaire to house his wife and children separately from his parents. But what it takes is his love, courage, and determination to provide you the freedom you and your family deserve.
2. He is loving and caring.
“Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:3 (NKJV)
Needless to explain further, you don’t want to spend the rest of your life loving someone who doesn’t truly love you in return, right?
3. He’s loyal and he doesn’t cheat.
“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:4 (NIV)
In reality, a loyal person who doesn’t have any history of cheating will not fill your mind with doubts and jealousy but with peace of mind. And with peace of mind, you can spend your married life with more productive activities that your family can enjoy. Also, you won’t like the idea of surrendering your body solely to your husband, while he’s sharing his body to other women out there. That would be so unfair, right?
4. He is trustworthy, responsible, and reliable.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” – Ephesians 5:22-23 (NIV)
The Bible wants the wife to submit to her husband so that the latter can rightfully lead her. But what if the guy you will marry is irresponsible and unreliable? Would you like yourself and your children to be led by him? The passage above clearly wants women to find a man who can be a good leader – someone who will lead them to a good and blissful life.
5. He knows how to love and take care of himself.
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” – Ephesians 5:28 (NIV)
A person who cannot love himself can hardly love others. If your future husband doesn’t know how to take care of his own health, how can he take care of yours and your children? If he can easily hurt himself, can you expect him to not also hurt you?
6. He has trust and confidence in you.
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” – Proverbs 31:10-11
Being married should not stop you from growing as a woman, a career woman, a business woman, or any better version of yourself you want to be. That is why you need a husband who will trust your decisions and actions that will bring growth not only to you but also to your husband and the whole family.
An ideal husband is like a great king. He’s a great leader but he also listens, considers, and trusts the will of his queen.
7. He appreciates you.
“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” – Proverbs 31:28 (NIV)
A husband who doesn’t appreciate your efforts and value your accomplishments will always make you down and cause you to lose self-confidence and self-respect. Hence, find a man who will raise you up rather than pull you down.
8. He’s calm and patient.
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared. – Proverbs 22:24-25 (NIV)
If you’re dreaming to have a happy family living in a peaceful home, then you should avoid a bad-tempered guy. No matter how patient you are, if you will always mix with a wrathful person, you might as well become irritable and your home will be filled with conflicts and fighting.
9. He’s a good role model.
“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NKJV)
Do you think you can play like a hero or a saviour? Do you think you can just marry a bad person then try to transform him into a better one? Well, your super powers might just be exhausted yet your man may not change a bit. And the worst is, instead of changing your future husband into a good one, it’s you who might be transformed into a worse one due to frustration and disappointment.
You have been warned. So find a man who will nurture your good character, not someone who will destroy it.
10. He’s not a glutton and a drunkard.
“Do not mix with winebibbers, Or with gluttonous eaters of meat; For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, And drowsiness will clothe a man with rags.” – Proverbs 23:20-21 (NKJV)
Drunkenness and gluttony will not only suck out your husband’s money but will also make his body and mind unhealthy. If you’re a practical woman, you will marry a guy who knows how to manage both his financial and health condition. You will find someone who has self-discipline, not someone who will spend his money on alcoholic drinks rather than spending it on your children’s educational plan.
11. He has wisdom.
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” – Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)
Wisdom is the ability to discern what’s right from what’s wrong, and actually follow the first. If your potential guy thinks that lying, cheating, and being irresponsible are just okay, then you should already know what to do. If you don’t want to spend your life with someone who will keep hurting you emotionally, mentally, and physically, do not marry a fool.
12. He will bring you closer to God.
“I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord. – Hosea 2:19-20 (NIV)
Finally, if you want to have a family that is blessed by your God, find a man who will not take you away from Him. If you believe in God, who is a God of love, justice, compassion, and righteousness, then you have to marry a man who will inspire you to practice those virtues.
The final decision is yours
Remember that what I listed above are only signs. It doesn’t mean that if the man you love doesn’t have a perfect score, you already have to dump him. Of course every person has the potential to change for the better, especially if he is humble, sincere, and determined. However, it’s always wise to make a discreet decision if you don’t like to have regrets in the future. Choosing a husband is not only a matter of your own happiness, but also the happiness and welfare of your children. Thus, don’t ignore the signs above.
Photo by Deesha Chandra