In my previous article, I discussed 12 signs from the Bible that may guide single ladies in choosing the right guy to marry. The article received positive feedback and became quite popular so I think it would be nice to also write something for single men this time – an article that will guide them in finding the right woman to be their wife.
You might be wondering why there are more guides (20 vs. 12) in finding the right wife than in finding the right husband. I believe it’s because a woman who’ll become both a wife and a mother will have greater physical, mental and emotional responsibilities than a husband and a father.
I think it’s not unfair since most women who are naturally born to be good wives and mothers will not find them difficult to follow and fulfill. In fact, majority of my friends naturally became good wives and caring mothers when they entered marriage life.
But of course, just like men, there are still a percentage of women whom single guys should avoid if they don’t want to live a miserable life with a wrong wife.
A good wife is someone who doesn’t only take care of her husband, but also her children and household. She is the light that guides your home and the love that nurtures it. She also maintains peacefulness, gentleness, and happiness within it.
In Proverbs 31:10-31, the Bible has actually described “a wife of noble character” whom men should strive to find. Although the verses may not already entirely applicable in our modern times, single men can still get some good ideas that will help them find the right woman to marry.
Below are 20 signs extracted from Proverbs 31:10-31 and other passages in the Bible that may guide single guys in finding the right girl they should exchange wedding bows with at the altar and be their wife for the rest of their lives.
1. You find her extraordinary.
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 (NIV)
In other words, there is something in her that you treasure her more than anyone and anything in this world. It can be an extraordinary kindness, love, or great character. Remember that it should be something that lasts more than a precious gem – something from within, not without – something about her wholeness, not only a cover. Hence, it cannot only be physical beauty since it fades with the passage of time.
2. She is someone you can trust.
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” – Proverbs 31:11 (NIV)
If you want to have peace of mind and prevent yourself from always being jealous, dubious and insecure, find someone who will give you security, honesty, and full confidence
3. She is harmless and she brings good things to your life.
“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” – Proverbs 31:11-12 (NIV)
A good wife is someone who will make you a better man. She will inspire you to be happy and healthy, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
4. She takes care of your family and home.
“She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.” – Proverbs 31:13-15 (NIV)
In other words, she is just like your loving and caring mother.
5. She is practical and knows how to manage things.
“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. ” – Proverbs 31:16-19 (NIV)
We, the guys, will surrender our income to our wives. Hence, choose someone who will handle it properly, not squander it recklessly. It’s also good to have a practical wife who doesn’t only rely fully on your own money but also strive to provide something for her family out of her own efforts. You don’t like to marry someone who will make you a sugar daddy, do you?
6. She is kind and generous.
“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” – Proverbs 31:20 (NIV)
Marry a woman who is kind to the poor so that your family will be blessed. A wife who will look down to your poor relatives and friends will only create enemies and may not give your family peace, security, and true prosperity.
7. She is caring and protective.
“When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. – Proverbs 31:21-22 (NIV)
Your wife will be in charge of your home. That means she will have to protect you and your children from illness and other unhealthy situations. She also has to protect herself to continue her duties as a wife and as a mom. So do you like to have a wife who just doesn’t care?
8. She is a strong and honorable woman.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” – Proverbs 31:25 (NIV)
A wife who has a strong conviction and maintains great principles in life will bring honor and glory to your home.
9. She is wise and reliable.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” – Proverbs 31:26 (NIV)
Your wife, the mother of your children will serve as the guiding light in your home. If you want to raise children with a brighter tomorrow, find a woman who has wisdom and insight of the future.
10. She is not lazy.
“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:27 (NIV)
Sloth means being lazy and not giving care. It’s one of the negative characteristics of a partner that can be destructive to your home and family. If you like your family to survive life’s unending challenges, have a wife who’s a woman of action, not a slothful one.
11. She is righteous and praiseworthy.
“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” – Proverbs 31:28 (NIV)
Do not just look for a girl who always posts “feeling blessed” on her Facebook status, but someone whose family and friends are feeling blessed to have her in their lives.
Take note that a blessing is not something you declare or announce. It is something that God gives you because of your righteousness. “The LORD’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.” – Proverbs 3:33 (NIV)
12. She always strives to be better.
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” – Proverbs 31:29 (NIV)
An ideal wife is someone who will do good things, not just because other men’s wives do them too, but because they are the right things to do. She surpasses other women, not because she competes with them, but because she competes with herself and tries to improve everyday a little bit more.
13. She avoids things that are disgraceful.
“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4 (NIV)
Who likes a wicked and scandalous wife? Now, who likes a wife whose works and actions are those that we can be proud of? Of course we like the latter.
14. She is not ill-tempered and quarrelsome.
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. – Proverbs 25:24 (NIV)
A bad-tempered and irritable wife will always make your house noisy, chaotic, and stressful, not only for you but also for your children, not to mention it’s also disgusting to your neighbors.
15. She cares for your future.
“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” – Proverbs 19:14 (NIV)
How do you know if your girlfriend is one sent by God? She acts with care for your future. If your girl doesn’t care what will happen to you in the future, if she doesn’t care if you lose your job or ruin your studies, or if she doesn’t care if you will lose your health or life, then you should do a lot of ponderings.
16. She respects you.
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 (NIV)
Respect begets respect. There must be a mutual respect between a husband and a wife. Thus, marry a girl whom you do not only respect but also respects you in return.
17. She fulfills her duties and responsibilities as a wife.
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” – 1 Corinthians 7:3 (NIV)
A husband and wife have mutual duties and responsibilities to each other, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. If one doesn’t fulfil his or her duties, the marriage becomes imbalanced and may come to an end.
18. She is loyal and faithful to you.
“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” – 1 Corinthians 7:4 (NIV)
One of the top reasons why couples fight is the disobedience of the verse above. Some women don’t like their partners to prevent them from wearing sexy dresses, which makes men angry and cause them to have a fight. Without surrendering each one’s authority over their own body, jealousy and insecurities will only arise.
Therefore, marry a woman who’s ready to grant you the right over her own body. If she truly loves you, then she is more willing to give you security and peace of mind. Of course, you should also give her the authority over your body to be fair.
19. She follows your righteous lead.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” – Ephesians 5:22-23 (NIV)
One of the most difficult instructions from the Bible a woman could follow is to be submissive to her husband. Nowadays, some women don’t like to be led by men as they think that the modern way is to do the opposite. Somehow, we cannot blame them due to the history of men who have misled their wives rather than lead them to the right way. But the Bible is clear that the wives should submit to their own husband.
To have a peaceful and happy marriage life, you should first make yourself a man who’s worthy to lead a woman. After that, you can already find a wife who can submit herself to you as her husband. If despite your worthiness your girl doesn’t follow you but maintains her ego and pride, then that’s a sign that she’s not the one. Besides, love is not proud, isn’t it?
20. She is God-fearing.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)
Finally, find a woman who’s God-fearing, simply because, if she has fear and respect in God, then she will humbly and faithfully follow all the guides above which are all beneficial to you, to her, to your future children, and future family.
I hope that this article will serve as guide for single guys in finding the right woman to be their wife. And of course, I’m also hoping that single women or even the married ones can also get some ideas from this article on how they can make themselves a better wife for their husband. Remember that the purpose of this article is not to judge or dump anyone, but to assess ourselves, find opportunities for personal development, influence our loved ones to improve, and ensure a better life for our future.
Your choice lies in your own hands.
Photo by Petr Ovralov