In my previous article, I discussed 12 signs from the Bible that may guide single ladies in choosing the right guy to marry. The article received positive feedback and became quite popular so I think it would be nice to also write something for single men this time – an article that will guide them in finding the right woman to be their wife.
You might be wondering why there are more guides (20 vs. 12) in finding the right wife than in finding the right husband. I believe it’s because a woman who’ll become both a wife and a mother will have greater physical, mental and emotional responsibilities than a husband and a father.
I think it’s not unfair since most women who are naturally born to be good wives and mothers will not find them difficult to follow and fulfill. In fact, the majority of my friends naturally became good wives and caring mothers when they entered married life.
But of course, just like men, there is still a percentage of women whom single guys should avoid if they don’t want to live a miserable life with the wrong wife.
A good wife is someone who doesn’t only take care of her husband, but also her children and household. She is the light that guides your home and the love that nurtures it. She also maintains peacefulness, gentleness, and happiness within it.
In Proverbs 31:10-31, the Bible has actually described “a wife of noble character” whom men should strive to find. Although the verses may not already entirely applicable in our modern times, single men can still get some good ideas that will help them find the right woman to marry.
Below are 20 signs extracted from Proverbs 31:10-31 and other passages in the Bible that may guide single guys in finding the right girl they should exchange wedding bows with at the altar and be their wife for the rest of their lives.
1. You find her extraordinary.
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 (NIV)
In other words, there is something in her that you treasure her more than anyone and anything in this world. It can be an extraordinary kindness, love, or great character. Remember that it should be something that lasts more than a precious gem – something from within, not without – something about her wholeness, not only a cover. Hence, it cannot only be physical beauty since it fades with the passage of time.
2. She is someone you can trust.
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” – Proverbs 31:11 (NIV)
If you want to have peace of mind and prevent yourself from always being jealous, dubious and insecure, find someone who will give you security, honesty, and full confidence
3. She is harmless and she brings good things to your life.
“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” – Proverbs 31:11-12 (NIV)
A good wife is someone who will make you a better man. She will inspire you to be happy and healthy, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
4. She takes care of your family and home.
“She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.” – Proverbs 31:13-15 (NIV)
In other words, she is just like your loving and caring mother.
5. She is practical and knows how to manage things.
“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. ” – Proverbs 31:16-19 (NIV)
We, the guys, will surrender our income to our wives. Hence, choose someone who will handle it properly, not squander it recklessly. It’s also good to have a practical wife who doesn’t only rely fully on your own money but also strives to provide something for her family out of her own efforts. You don’t like to marry someone who will make you a sugar daddy, do you?
6. She is kind and generous.
“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” – Proverbs 31:20 (NIV)
Marry a woman who is kind to the poor so that your family will be blessed. A wife who will look down on your poor relatives and friends will only create enemies and may not give your family peace, security, and true prosperity.
7. She is caring and protective.
“When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. – Proverbs 31:21-22 (NIV)
Your wife will be in charge of your home. That means she will have to protect you and your children from illness and other unhealthy situations. She also has to protect herself to continue her duties as a wife and as a mom. So do you like to have a wife who just doesn’t care?
8. She is a strong and honorable woman.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” – Proverbs 31:25 (NIV)
A wife who has a strong conviction and maintains great principles in life will bring honor and glory to your home.
9. She is wise and reliable.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” – Proverbs 31:26 (NIV)
Your wife, the mother of your children will serve as the guiding light in your home. If you want to raise children with a brighter tomorrow, find a woman who has wisdom and insight into the future.
10. She is not lazy.
“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:27 (NIV)
Sloth means being lazy and not giving care. It’s one of the negative characteristics of a partner that can be destructive to your home and family. If you like your family to survive life’s unending challenges, have a wife who’s a woman of action, not a slothful one.
11. She is righteous and praiseworthy.
“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” – Proverbs 31:28 (NIV)
Do not just look for a girl who always posts “feeling blessed” on her Facebook status, but someone whose family and friends are feeling blessed to have her in their lives.
Take note that a blessing is not something you declare or announce. It is something that God gives you because of your righteousness. “The LORD’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.” – Proverbs 3:33 (NIV)
12. She always strives to be better.
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” – Proverbs 31:29 (NIV)
An ideal wife is someone who will do good things, not just because other men’s wives do them too, but because they are the right things to do. She surpasses other women, not because she competes with them, but because she competes with herself and tries to improve every day a little bit more.
13. She avoids things that are disgraceful.
“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4 (NIV)
Who likes a wicked and scandalous wife? Now, who likes a wife whose words and actions are those that we can be proud of? Of course, we like the latter.
14. She is not ill-tempered and quarrelsome.
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. – Proverbs 25:24 (NIV)
A bad-tempered and irritable wife will always make your house noisy, chaotic, and stressful, not only for you but also for your children, not to mention it’s also disgusting to your neighbors.
15. She cares for your future.
“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” – Proverbs 19:14 (NIV)
How do you know if your girlfriend is one sent by God? She acts with care for your future. If your girl doesn’t care what will happen to you in the future, if she doesn’t care if you lose your job or ruin your studies, or if she doesn’t care if you will lose your health or life, then you should do a lot of ponderings.
16. She respects you.
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 (NIV)
Respect begets respect. There must be mutual respect between a husband and a wife. Thus, marry a girl whom you do not only respect but also respects you in return.
17. She fulfills her duties and responsibilities as a wife.
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” – 1 Corinthians 7:3 (NIV)
A husband and wife have mutual duties and responsibilities to each other, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. If one doesn’t fulfill his or her duties, the marriage becomes imbalanced and may come to an end.
18. She is loyal and faithful to you.
“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” – 1 Corinthians 7:4 (NIV)
One of the top reasons why couples fight is the disobedience of the verse above. Some women don’t like their partners to prevent them from wearing sexy dresses, which makes men angry and cause them to have a fight. Without surrendering each one’s authority over their own body, jealousy and insecurities will only arise.
Therefore, marry a woman who’s ready to grant you the right over her own body. If she truly loves you, then she is more willing to give you security and peace of mind. Of course, you should also give her the authority over your body to be fair.
19. She follows your righteous lead.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” – Ephesians 5:22-23 (NIV)
One of the most difficult instructions from the Bible a woman could follow is to be submissive to her husband. Nowadays, some women don’t like to be led by men as they think that the modern way is to do the opposite. Somehow, we cannot blame them due to the history of men who have misled their wives rather than lead them the right way. But the Bible is clear that the wives should submit to their own husbands.
To have a peaceful and happy marriage life, you should first make yourself a man who’s worthy to lead a woman. After that, you can already find a wife who can submit herself to you as her husband. If despite your worthiness your girl doesn’t follow you but maintains her ego and pride, then that’s a sign that she’s not the one. Besides, love is not proud, isn’t it?
ALSO READ: 18 Signs He’s the One Sent by God for You
20. She is God-fearing.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)
Finally, find a woman who’s God-fearing, simply because, if she has fear and respect in God, then she will humbly and faithfully follow all the guides above which are all beneficial to you, to her, to your future children, and future family.
I hope that this article will serve as a guide for single guys in finding the right woman to be their wife. And of course, I’m also hoping that single women or even married ones can also get some ideas from this article on how they can make themselves a better wife for their husband. Remember that the purpose of this article is not to judge or dump anyone, but to assess ourselves, find opportunities for personal development, influence our loved ones to improve, and ensure a better life for our future.
Your choice lies in your own hands.
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ALSO READ:
12 Signs He’s the Guy You Should Marry According to the Bible
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Am really blessed by the article. Thank u so much.
Am not yet married and i must confess that am so priviledged to read this article. I have read both on men and women. This is so wonderful and helpful..I thank God for having such an opportunity to come accross this staff. I can not say much, all i can say is am humbled to see my charater in the above article. May Lord bless you Sir.
Thanks for the article
God is good, inspirational article thank u Mr writer
Thanks for sharing your wise words. They are truly factors of inspiration, for a south sudanese youth whow grew up only heark gun shots and bombs without proper guidance, I appreciate your suggestions.
Thank You for the article and I do believe that the things written here are all true. It was truly enlightening.
After reading I realized how unworthy of me to get married. I’ll just enjoy being single because I know in myself that I am not the marrying type. I don’t want to see a man suffer because of me. I’m way too depressing. For those who are planning to get married please do take care of your partner, children, and home.
Hello Shyra, you dont have to look down on yourself because of the qualities listed, just pray and believe in Jesus, and it also does not mean that most if not all qualities above or anything in this life come out in a spur of a moment, it takes time maybe longer time, just learn selflove and self-forgiveness first, follow and beleive Jesus and be patient and perservering 😉
such posts are essential for us Men looking for a Godly spouse. and to show that it is not misleading ,it is derived from the word. keep up the good work. WE WANT MORE!
Ohh thanks guys becoz u are helping us a lot we who are struggling with partners, now I know and I have written down all of them so that I get a good guy and also be a good wife.
I am so happy to be here, God bless you sir for this wonderful work that you’re doing may him give you more grace and also give we the singles the grace to wait for him, and at the end we will not make mistakes in marriage Amen.
This is what singles are in dire need of… Love it.
Really inspiring and useful in choosing lifetime partner. May the Lord God continually bless and sustain you more wisdom in His glory!
Thanks for the tips I am really going to put this to a test and get back to you.
woow so inspiring Lovett…..
Thank you so much Victoria for a discriptive and detailed article quoted with refernce from the bible.Thank you for sharing your research and understanding. It has helped me determine what a good and bad husband is. Keep up the good work.
Wow this article is indeed inspiring… Am very grateful and happy to read this from u sir…. May God bless u and give u grace to do more….
It is really a good article… Am single and I pray that God will help me attain the stated qualities… I think I easily get upset… Am not the most calm lady.
I am so blessed with your article brother, thank you so much
This post was awe inspiring… Keep up the good work
Wow! You are a blessing, for this article is so full of TRUTH! I pray that as many read, we all can make these Godly principles our own principles. A man looking for a good wife should be sure he too is a good man and vice versa. Then continually learn from God’s Word and grow each day.
Thanks so much!
Thanks for the challenge you have possed for us, the single men.
We can begin from here, for those of us who are still trusting God for relationships also for those already in, thus is an opportunity to use for building your partner!
Thank you!
My GF just tipped me into reading this article and it’s useful in ways that words can’t explain. God is using you to do great things in the world.
Thank you so much for this article.
God one sir. May God continue to give you that same wisdom he gave to Solomon
words of mouth cant describ3 how these wonderful words have helped me. thank you so much. god richly bless you
Hi belvis. I’m so glad that you have found the article helpful. You are welcome. Have a blessed day and more blessed days to come too.
Just read this article both for ladies and men.. I can say its really educative. Thanks and may God bless you
Thank you for reading Lynne. You’re welcome and have blessed days too.
This article is lovely
Thank you for sharing this article. ?
You are welcome Vhal. 🙂
This article is of much help not only for men but also for women…May God continually use you and bless you with heavenly wisdom for you to right more articles useful,and helpful for men and women alike…thank you!
Hello Yannie,
Thanks for that inspiring feedback. It surely makes us inspired more to research, write and share more wisdom to people.
Although these are extremely important Godly qualities in a woman for a man to want to marry, my question is, why is it 20 for women, and only 12 for men. Just saying?
Hi Valerie,
Thanks for the comment. I believe I have already answered your question in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph of the article. Actually, my numbering doesn’t completely suggest that the Bible has more requirements for an ideal wife than an ideal husband. The numbering is just a matter of breaking down general ideas from the Bible. So I suggest we don’t make it a big issue. Besides, they all just come down to one great quality, that is, being a person (whether man or woman) who loves and follows God’s command (God-fearing).
Also, if you will come to think of it, we know that nowadays, it’s more difficult to find an ideal husband than an ideal wife. Imagine if there are 20 or more quality requirements for an ideal husband, 12 signs is already difficult to find in an ideal husband, how much more 20 or more signs? 🙂 Nevertheless, it’s not a matter of quantities, but qualities. And as I said, they all just sum up to one great quality, that is, a God loving person. If a person loves or fears God, he/she will follow no matter how many signs/guides are there.
If you believe a woman who’ll become both a wife and a mother will have greater physical, mental and emotional responsibilities than a husband and a father. The same time she had to be submissive ?
How do you expect a woman to be led by a man who has only the 12 qualities wheras the woman has to uphold 20.
Why is it that woman has to have 20 qualities to be considered a godly wife ? On the other hand, a man with only need to fulfill 12 and yet want to lead is consider a godly man to be married with.
You mentioned a woman should watch over the house hold same time she should be able to provide to the family with her own earnings, so does that mean a strong, independent woman need to work for money and comes home to cook and clean to be considered a married-able god fearing wife ?
Hope to hear some fair reply.
I skimmed through your reply, this article is based solely on scripture. So my question to you is are you questioning the word of God? A article is an fact based opinion, he’s only sharing what he thinks may help SOMEONE based off the word God provided for us. It’s a fact that women carry more load than men because God made us that way, we are the back bone to so much. I don’t think you should be focused on the quantity of possible guidelines but more so on yourself and making sure you fall in the categories you want for YOURSELF, according to GODS will for you, lastly I suggest you pray/talk to God for a better answer to your questions because at the end of the day God trumps man, we don’t know more than God and he’s the only one who will get us through life let alone simply marriage.
I hope this helps a little
God bless 😉
The bible was written by a man, so obviously he will want things to go his way. Creating the idea of a servant that bows down to his every need, is simply a ‘dream’ captured in the greatest fairytale ever written. In the real world you will get a woman, deal with it.
That’s what I thought…He is not off the Scriptures, Atleast single point may help someone to find…
Service to our partners is service to God. No matter how difficult the task may be. So you listing the number of things a woman has to do is irrelevant.
Hi!
I’m a married man… I have a personal questions to ask…. if that’s okay…
Hi. Yes you may.
what happened if I married a husband who has no qualities of God’s teaching, What should I do when we’re already married?
what happened if I married a husband who has no qualities of God’s teaching, What should I do when we’re already married?
Thank you so much for this article. God bless you always! To God be the glory! 🙂
Thank you Anj,
Be blessed also and your loved ones.
This article really Good it uplifts everyone & truly a perfect guidance & learning that each must b careful w/ choise of a lifetime partner so no regret after all.
Lovett 🙂
Hi Novelyn,
Thank you. I’m happy you appreciate the article. 🙂 I’m more inspired to write and publish more.
My first time , of reading this article . It’s strenth to my bone and give me peace in reloading god word . The Lord will albe your bosom as yiu write more . Thank you our father and lord
I am sorry to point out these things to you. NIV is not a good source to learn from. Get KJV She is the light that guides your home? Ephesians 5:22-24 The head of every man is God, and the head of the woman is the man. What you have written is filled with vain philosophy of man and the devil. You only need common sense to find a virtuous woman. Which is not what you point to at all. People must be held accountable in these last days. But most just ignore and make excuses for the devil and sin. I will stand and fight along side my Lord.
Hi,
You’re assertion that one need only common sense to get a virtuous woman is does not sound biblical, otherwise, it wouldn’t be so hard to find one in these times. Proverbs says” trust the Lord with all you heart, never relay on what you think you know (common sense ).
I know several that qualify Biblically but have been looking for that scriptural husband.
hey vic thanx alot
[Crying] thank you brother, you roughed me, in the name of Jesus, bless the Father, bless you, peace
Hi sir Ive read all your inspiring words and felt blessed while reading all of it. May I please ask for your personal counsel through my email. I just have some few personal sensitive questions for you about my personal life and opinions about marriage.
Thank you so much. Im hoping and looking forward to your warm response, if you would, please…just seeking knowledge and words of wisdom here as your brother in Christ as well.
Sincerely,
Mike
MAIN INGREDIENT YOU FORGOT IS SHE MUST BE A VIRGIN TO BE A WIFE.
Wow
Then where do the non virgin belong? Even after they submitted themselves to God. Damn so unmerciful
I disagree…. What of a virgin with no character. And why do we men seek for virgins when we ourselves are not virgins? I am in the school of thought that it is honourable for a woman to keep herself. The husband will give her another level of respect. But its not the yardstick of being a woman with noble character. The writer of this article was on point. Get a woman with all that attributes he mentioned and this earth will be another level of heaven.
Rightly said.
But nowhere on the bible it is written that she should be a Virgin
Thank you now I know what I need to work on to make myself better for my husband in the future before I even get to meet him again. 🧡