To be offended by others is one of the most painful experiences one can ever have. It is worse when the one who hurt you is someone close to you.
How about if it is the other way around? What if you have unintentionally offended someone? What are the signs that you have hurt somebody and nobody is telling you?
Check out the following signs:
1. They do not smile nor greet back.
One of the obvious signs that you have offended someone is when they suddenly do not respond to your greetings or smile anymore. If that person used to be warm to you whenever you met, there could be a reason why they have changed.
If you want to confirm if someone is cold to you, intentionally cross paths with that person. Then, try to wave your hand, say “hi,” or smile at that individual. In case that person acts as if they do not see nor hear anything or just stare blankly at you, then you know what it means.
2. They do not talk to you anymore.
Aside from not smiling or greeting back, one sign that you have hurt a person is if they suddenly stopped talking to you. If you used to be close to each other, this can be an unusual behavior that needs to be dealt with immediately.
You can try initiating a conversation with that person. If they seem uninterested in keeping the talk, like if they just answer your questions with a “yes” and “no”, it is a sign. Worse, they could just walk away while you are still talking.
3. You are ignored as if you do not exist.
Have you ever felt being completely ignored by someone? Like they just passed by you without even meeting your eyes, or they seemed to leave you out of group conversations? If yes, that person probably felt bad towards you.
Ignoring the person who hurt you does not only send a message across. It is also a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt or offended again. So, if someone is ignoring you, it could be because something you did made the person upset.
4. They do not respond to your messages or calls.
Have you ever tried chatting or calling a person, but they are consistently unavailable? It could be because they are busy. In normal circumstances, they would immediately return your calls or reply to your messages once they find the time.
However, if days or weeks have passed and you have not received a response from the person, something is wrong. It means that they intentionally ignore your messages or do not want to talk to you.
Another sign that you have hurt a person is discovering that you are not connected on social media anymore. You could have been unfriended, unfollowed, or even blocked by that person.
For many, social media are extensions of their lives already. Thus, if you get shut off by someone from their social media accounts, it means you have hurt them enough to remove you from their world.
6. They do not invite you to get-togethers or other events.
If suddenly your friend does not invite you to hang out anymore, it means there is something wrong with your relationship. For instance, all your other friends have been invited to that person’s party, except you.
The person may have only forgotten to send their invitation. However, if it has happened more than once, it is clear that you are being avoided.
7. Your invitations are rejected.
Is your friend rejecting your invitations too? Like they keep making excuses whenever you invite them to a party or just a simple gathering? If they are always unavailable for you and this is combined with no. 6, there is really something wrong.
It is normal for people to be busy enough to miss certain activities and get-togethers with their friends. Nevertheless, if your friend is only too busy for you and they can make time for others, it means they are avoiding you.
8. They refuse to help you.
Another way to know if a person has heartaches towards you is when you approach them for help. If that person immediately refuses without even trying to think about it, that means they have long decided not to be part of your life anymore.
Typically, people on good terms would have the desire to help each other. Even if they are busy, they will try to find a way to help. Thus, if someone tells you straight to the point that they cannot help–and may not even give you any reason at all–then it is like they are having a sweet little revenge.
9. They are irritable towards you.
If you notice that a person is easily irritated by you lately, you should ask yourself why. Well, that individual could just be having a rough day. However, if it goes on for a long time already, you could have offended them somehow.
Or, if you see that they are always in a good mood around other people, except you, it means they do not want you around. It is time to ponder on your actions.
10. They do not initiate interaction with you.
Have you noticed how someone who used to love talking to you does not approach you anymore? Like, that person would not speak to you unless you first speak with them. It is a sign that you have probably hurt that individual.
You can also observe how he responds to you whenever you initiate a conversation. If that person seems cold already and would try to cut the talk as soon as possible, it means they are avoiding you.
11. Others seem awkward whenever you and the other person are in one place.
You may not be aware of it, but others probably know about how someone feels about you. You know, most people have to express their disappointment or pain to others to make them feel better.
If you have ever noticed that the atmosphere of a group suddenly changes whenever you arrive, it means they are hiding something from you. You could have probably offended one or all of them, so the group is awkward whenever you are around.
12. You receive sarcastic responses or comments.
Have you ever tried talking to a person nicely, but they kept responding rudely to you? Unless a person is naturally rude, it is not normal for someone to react harshly to others without reason.
So, if you observe that someone is often speaking with sarcasm towards you, something is definitely wrong. Sarcasm is using ironic statements to mock someone. It is often the result of resentment towards the recipient.
What to Do
Once you realize that a person is avoiding or treating you coldly, you should confront the issue as soon as possible. It would be best to calmly approach that individual and have a frank talk with them.
If it becomes clear that you have caused pain to that person, be humble enough to apologize. However, if they are not ready to talk with you yet, give them space and time. You can also ask for help from others to mediate between you.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
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