Some people enter a relationship for the convenience it brings. There are those who think it is the solution to loneliness, and some hope they can finally settle down with someone who loves them. In addition, there are people who accept someone’s offer of love in order to move on from a heartbreak.
However, is it enough that you are loved by the person you are in a relationship with? How about you? Are you sure that you really love your current boyfriend/girlfriend?
Do you think you are only forcing yourself to love someone? Evaluate your heart with these signs:
1. You are not excited to be with the person.
If you think of your dates as nothing but obligatory appearances, then you are probably not in love. If you love a person, there should be that excitement to spend time with him/her.
2. He/she does not inspire you.
People in love are usually more motivated to be more productive. They want to reach their dreams and be their best not only for themselves but for their special someone as well. Now, if s/he is not inspiring you in any way, then ask yourself why.
3. You do not see yourself spending the rest of your life with him/her.
If you find yourself daydreaming about your future but you cannot see your partner in it, then it says a lot about what you feel for him/her. Subconsciously, you hope you can get away from your present relationship.
4. There is that longing to be in love.
Being in love is one of the most beautiful feelings, especially if it is reciprocated. If you have never felt those fluttering butterflies in your stomach with your partner, then you probably have never been in love with him/her.
5. You may be content, but you are not really happy.
She may be pretty and smart, or he may be responsible and successful, but if his/her presence only gives you superficial happiness, then it may not be love.
6. You know in your heart that s/he is not the one.
If right from the start you have this intuition that s/he is not the one for you, then your gut-feeling may be right. It is either you do not really want him/her to be part of your life for some reasons or you just have the gift of discernment.
7. You still look for a potential partner in others.
Sure, it is unfair to your current boyfriend/girlfriend if you still secretly check others out. However, maybe the problem here is not your faithfulness but the real condition of your heart. If you are still searching for the “one” even if you are already in a relationship, then it is time to give your partner the freedom s/he deserves.
8. The person can feel it and s/he ends up insecure.
Are you annoyed with your partner’s constant jealousy and doubting of your sincerity? Maybe you have never given him/her any assurance that is why s/he is insecure about your relationship. If you truly love a person, you will not get tired affirming him/her that you are sure with your commitment.
9. There is no peace in your heart while in the relationship.
Do you feel guilty whenever you say “I love you” to your partner or every time you have these dreamy talks about your future family? Maybe it is because you know that in your heart you are lying to your partner and yourself.
10. You wish you could free yourself from the person.
Normal people who truly love their partners would never wish for a breakup. Now, if you always find yourself looking for reasons to fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend and separate ways, then that is it.
11. You are not proud of your relationship.
Are you insisting that you keep your relationship a secret or very private? Why is that you do not want to post about your boyfriend/girlfriend on social media? And do you deny your relationship with the person whenever someone asks you?
12. There is something lacking in your heart.
If your relationship seems to go smoothly and peacefully yet you feel empty about it, then evaluate your heart. What is it that seems lacking in your relationship, especially if there is nothing wrong with your partner?
13. Many times you are tempted to cheat.
One sign that you truly love your partner is you lose the interest to check out others. Not that you do not get attracted to other people anymore, but your commitment to be faithful to your boyfriend/girlfriend is greater than any temptation.
14. You know you cannot marry the person.
If your boyfriend proposes to you and you cannot say “yes”, or if your girlfriend is asking you if you have a plan to marry her but you cannot answer, then ask yourself why. Is it just because you are not ready or you really have no intention of spending the rest of your life with him/her?
Be True to Yourself
Committing to someone just because you are lonely or because there is this nice person who is good enough to be your partner is not enough. You should be sure within yourself that you truly care about him/her as well. Both of you should have a mutual understanding and desire to share your lives together.
If you have realized that you do not really love your boyfriend/girlfriend, then it is time to let go. It is unfair for your partner to be loving you whole-heartedly when in fact you do not feel the same way towards him/her. The person deserves to be loved completely as well. If you cannot give that the love s/he deserves, then release him/her.
On the other hand, forcing yourself to love someone is not worth it. Yes, love can be learned, but while you have not yet, then do not commit yourself to anyone. You will end up bound in chains, never sure if you would truly be happy or not.