Relationships don’t always have happy endings. You may think you have found the love of your life, you may think that everything is picture perfect, or you may even think that it’s going to last forever. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t.
Oftentimes, the people we pick to be with don’t always feel the same. Unfortunately, mind-reading superpowers are still to be discovered, so before you invest all your attention and love on that special person, look for these ten telling signs first to see if your partner is just treating you as an option:
1. He only calls you when he needs you.
The number one sign that says he is treating you as an option is if he only calls you when he needs you and that’s it. He won’t even make the effort to be there physically for you. He will give you the occasional call and text message for a few days and then suddenly disappears for weeks only to come back later on.
And when he does come back to contact you, it’s always something that he wants from you. If you see this red flag, turn the other way and run. A man who loves you will want to be with you and prove his commitment. You don’t need this disappearing act in your life.
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2. She doesn’t prioritize you.
Another sign is that she doesn’t prioritize you. Sure she gives you attention when she feels like it or when she’s in the mood, but she’s never really there for you in anything. You’re not asking for her to drop everything at your every call, but it will still be nice to have her every now and then for the important moments.
The moment that you two decide to enter a relationship, it’s already a silent understanding that you treat each other highly on the priority list. This means attending the birthday parties, going through the tough times, and enjoying each other during the happy moments. But if she’s nowhere to be found in all three events, you may have to rethink your life decisions.
3. He doesn’t really pay attention to you.
Aside from the sad fact that you’re not number one on his list, he also doesn’t really pay any attention to you. Imagine sitting across from him after a long hard day at work, you’re telling him about your office problems and he’s either scrolling absent-mindedly on his phone or trying to change the subject.
He’s not investing any attention on you. Why? Because again, you’re just another one of his options. Maybe he’s really not in the mood to be with you right now because he wants to spend time with Girl Number Two, who knows? Demand the attention you deserve, because as his girlfriend, you deserve nothing less.
4. She’s seeing other people.
A lot of people think they can easily get away with this by using the excuse that he or she is just a “friend.” You weren’t born yesterday so you definitely know she’s not hanging out with just another “friend.” She’ll most likely never admit to it no matter how much you pry or insist.
If your girlfriend is constantly hanging out with these so-called friends, then it’s probably best to think that this relationship is not for you. Unless you two stated otherwise, a relationship is supposed to be an exclusive one. There’s definitely no room for seeing other people or looking for other choices.
5. He instantly cuts off you off.
It’s annoying when a person does this and when it’s your boyfriend who’s constantly cutting you off, then it just shows that he doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t value you, your thoughts, feelings or opinions, so why would he bother listening to it?
People who treat their partners as options have no time to give to them. They will not take you seriously and will only string you along as long as it pleasures them. If you spot this other flag, call him out on it and talk to him about the state of your relationship.
6. She’s constantly lying.
Lying hurts and we all hate liars. Lying only complicates a peaceful relationship and there can never be a healthy relationship if one of the parties is always constantly lying. It doesn’t even have to be the big things, she can also lie about completely innocent stuff, like where she’s been and what she’s doing.
This is a huge alert signal in all relationships, and while white lies can be forgiven, blatant and uncalled for deceptions aren’t needed in a mature partnership. If she feels the need to lie to you, then you have to wake up and realize that she’s not the one for you.
7. He doesn’t let you in into his life completely.
Besides the fact that your partner is lying to your face, he’s also not comfortable with the idea of letting you into his life completely. While you’ve opened yourself up to him, you on the other hand still doesn’t know where he lives or you’ve never even met his family yet.
People do this because you’re just an option to them. You’re not a permanent fixture in his life, you’re replaceable, so why would he invest time and effort to get to know you or for you to know him? Also, watch out for inconsistent facts about his personal life, this is another red flag.
8. She threatens you with breaking up.
Emotional threats are the worst, especially if it comes from someone who supposedly loves you. Manipulative people know how to work with their victims. She knows you love her and care for her, and if she’s only treating you as an option, she will use this against you.
If she constantly threatens you with breaking up to get what she wants and doesn’t really go through with it, then this is another wake-up call for you. She’s only using you and it’s probably best if you break it up to her first before she uses it against you soon.
9. He asks for money.
Asking for help is not necessarily a bad thing, but if he’s asking you for money, not once, not twice, but almost every time he’s in a tight spot, then you might want to hold on to your purse strings and reflect. A lot of people nowadays think they can get away with treating people as ATM machines.
You may be oblivious to this, because they’ll make it look like you’re doing an act of love for them, but this is just another manipulative act that you will have to watch out for. If he doesn’t pay attention to you unless he wants money or if he gets upset whenever you can’t give him some, then he’s definitely treating you as an option.
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10. She just drops you whenever she likes.
A relationship is a constant build of effort, time, and communication. If your girlfriend just drops you whenever she feels like it, then you may want to question her level of involvement in your relationship. If you don’t even know where she goes and what she does when she’s giving you the silent treatment, chances are she’s entertaining someone else.
This may sound hurtful, but the truth hurts. If she’s as committed as you are, she’ll give in the time and effort that you deserve. Don’t allow yourself to be just another choice in someone else’s life.
Love is blind, they say, and oftentimes this is right. Most of the time, we’re not even aware that the person we love is already using us. We may be blinded by their looks, acts of love, or charming words, while we continue to play dumb and ignore the red flags.
It’s difficult to do, but we must always remind ourselves to look at the bigger picture. If you’re having doubts in your relationship, then you have every right to question him or her. Save yourself before you end up becoming another victim in a person’s list of options.