Being a rebound is something you don’t wish yourself to be regardless of the extent of your love for a person. You know you deserve the kind of love that is pure and true. The same thing goes for other people. They also deserve a love that is pure and true just like you. So, how can you make sure that you are ready for a new relationship after a breakup? Here are the signs to see how ready you are for a new one:
1. You don’t feel the need to talk to your friends to release your feelings about your ex.
The pain you felt in your heart needs to be released somehow, so you call for your friends. If you’re still on this stage, you haven’t moved on. Your heart still has wounds that need to be licked. Don’t rush with it. Continue pouring until there’s nothing left.
2. You can freely talk about your ex on random occasions.
Your family, your friends, and even your workmates probably know your ex, so his or her name being mentioned at times is something that you cannot avoid. When you were asked about your ex, how did you respond? How did you feel about responding to that kind of question? Observe yourself. If you can talk about the topics involving your ex as if they are about a random person in your life, then, there’s a high chance you have already moved on and are ready for a new relationship.
3. You no longer look back in anger.
Do you still call your ex a monster, an evil, or label him or her as someone who must not be named? You might not yet be ready to get into a new relationship. Anger is a sign that you have not reached the state of acceptance that your past relationship has already ended. Wait until you are at peace with the memory of your ex before jumping into a new one.
4. You don’t think of the what ifs anymore.
If your relationship ended at the time you still love your partner, the what ifs are a constant. What if you did the things he or she wanted you to do? What if you have not said the words that you think caused the end of your relationship? What if you have given more time and exerted more effort to your partner? Can you save your relationship? If you still ask those questions and if you still plan on getting your ex back, clearly, you are not yet ready for a new relationship.
5. You don’t feel shots of pain when you see your ex with someone else.
You saw your ex happy, happy with someone else not you. Are you okay with that? If it’s a no, and you still wish for that person to be you, you need to buy yourself some more healing time.
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6. You’ve unblocked him or her on social media.
One of the most common initial action of people who just have just ended a relationship is blocking their exes on social media. Knowing anything about your ex causes you pain. That is, if you haven’t moved on. But, if you’re okay knowing that your ex is perfectly fine without you, then, you might be a perfect fit for a new partner, too.
7. You don’t post things that pertain to your ex on social media.
If your purpose of unblocking your ex on social media is for him or her to see updates about you, then you have not moved on. You don’t unblock your ex with the thinking that he or she might check on your account to see how you’re doing. If you no longer post or tweet things pertaining to your ex with the assumption that he or she might read it, you’re one step closer to your recovery.
8. Things and places lost their symbolism.
Places returned to being places, and things returned to being just things. They’ve been once special because they hold the memories of you and your ex, but when the relationship ended, the symbolism must end, too. Does a coffee blend still remind you of your ex’s favorite? Do you still imagine you and your ex occupying the vacant seats of a specific restaurant? If you gave a negative response, you might now be ready to create a new set of symbolism with your new partner.
9. You no longer cry over your breakup songs.
Sometimes, songs are so universal you feel they tell your story, even your stories with your ex. When a breakup song plays in a mall or in an FM radio station, and it can still make you cry because of the memories of your ex that it brings back, you haven’t fully healed. And no, you are not yet ready for a new relationship.
10. You are not looking for a new relationship just for the sake of a status.
Does it still feel like a race? Do you still have that feeling that you need to be the first one to be in a new relationship after your breakup just so you can tell the whole world that your ex doesn’t really play an important role in your life? If your answer is affirmative, the more you should stop yourself from getting in a new relationship. Your potential partner should be more than just a status you can brag about.
11. Your criteria for judging do not involve your ex.
You don’t count the shortcomings of your potential partner based on the things that your ex has done. Remember that your ex and the potential partner that you have are two different people, and you should see them in different lights.
12. You don’t use your potential partner as a memory eraser.
You don’t bring your potential partner to the places you’ve been with your ex to replace old memories with the new ones. You should be at peace with the memories of your ex before you start looking for a potential partner. So, as long as you still have that urge to use your potential partner as a memory eraser, tell yourself to stop. Heal yourself first.
Moving on isn’t easy, but it should never be the reason why you should make a person your rebound. Make sure your heart is well before you even start looking for a potential partner.
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