The best thing about having a romantic love for a person is when he/she is able to return the same feelings to you. But how about the ones who don’t? The ones who weren’t given back the love they have for a certain person. Surely, it’s heartbreaking. Falling into an unrequited love is like a nightmare and you wish you could wake up from it in an instant. And what is worse than that? It is your friend you have feelings for. A friend who’s always been your best buddy in good and rough times.
It’s a stage in our life where your endurance with this kind of pain and how you handle it are being put to test. Many people experience this, and yes, you’re not the only one facing this challenge. To get over this unrequited love for your friend, we have here 10 tips for you.
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1. Make sure your feelings are valid.
Having special feelings for someone whom you’ve been with for a long time leads you to the pit of confusion. Questions are circling in your head. You’ll be asking yourself what is it that you feel. Is this a real love or just a mere attachment? So, first and foremost, ensure that what you feel for that person is love and you want to have a romantic relationship with him/her. Make sure that you’re not just misinterpreting his/her care towards you because what you’re risking here is your friendship.
2. Allow yourself to grieve.
The pain of having an unrequited love for a friend is undeniable, knowing that what you feel is real. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back breaks your heart and worse, he/she is the one with whom you spent a lot of good memories. The best thing that you could do at the moment is to allow yourself to feel that pain. Scream. Cry as much as you like. Pour out the emotions that you’re trying to keep for a long time because it’s normal, there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t mind the others who will try to stop you from doing it. It’s you who knows what you really feel inside.
3. Put a distance between both of you.
Putting a space between you and the one you love doesn’t mean that you have to block him/her on your phone or entirely ignoring him/her. Keep in mind that this space will just protect you from hurting too much without completely pushing that someone away in your life. You could take some time off from hanging out with him/her or create excuses to not see him/her. This will actually help you in your healing process. This way, you’ll be more focused on other things especially with yourself.
4. Don’t blame yourself.
Being hurt will start to make you blame yourself for everything. You’ll begin to have doubts and insecurities. You may think that you aren’t good enough for him/her, even though you’ve been with each other for a long time, or tend to criticize them for not loving you back. Know that this is no one else’s fault. Not your friend’s and definitely, not yours.
5. Learn to love yourself more.
You should have some me-time, this will be the right time to focus on yourself and learn to love it even more. Have a new hobby or travel to that place you eagerly want to go to. Distracting yourself by doing the things you enjoy the most will give you the time to breathe in this heartbreaking moment. Take this bad experience as a lesson for you to take steps to become a better version of yourself.
ALSO READ: 40 Ways to Love Yourself
6. Meet new friends.
One of the things for you to overcome this kind of love towards your friend is to meet new people and befriend them. This will divert your thoughts on that matter. It will make you realize that you shouldn’t isolate your friendship to that certain person alone. Build a friendship with others so that the attachment will lessen and that you still have other friends to rely on.
7. Talk with someone about your feelings.
Have a talk with someone about what you feel and your thoughts. It could be a friend or someone from your family whom you can trust. It is also important to ask for pieces of advice from them on what you should do. It is better if he/she had the same love problem. No one could understand what you’re going through but the person who has been in your shoes before and successfully overcame the same thing.
8. Maintain your friendship.
Probably the worst thing that could happen for having an unrequited love for your friend is not the love being unreciprocated to you but losing him/her completely as a friend. Shattering the friendship you built for a long time is much more heartbreaking than being rejected.
To avoid reaching up to this extent, talk to him/her about your feelings. It will be for sure torture for you but there’s no way other than that. Express your feelings towards him/her but let him understand that you want to keep the friendship you have and as much as possible, maintain how you treat each other before. Your romantic love for him/her shouldn’t be a reason to break your bond as friends.
ALSO READ: 9 Inspiring Tips on How to Rekindle a Broken Friendship
9. Accept that your relationship is nothing more than a friendship.
Acceptance is the most important thing to do but also the toughest one. You must accept the fact that your relationship with each other will be nothing more than a friendship only. Since you grew romantic feelings for him/her while your friends, set borders in order to protect yourself from being hurt over and over. Respect these boundaries between the both of you to avoid crossing the line again and hinder your healing process.
Remember that love is not just about your own happiness. Sometimes it’s all about being happy for the person you love even if you’re not the reason behind it. If your friend doesn’t want to level up your friendship, respect that. Be happy no matter what his/her decision is.
ALSO READ: 8 Ways to Get Over Someone You Can’t Have
10. Believe that there is someone meant for you.
“Everything has a reason”. In many aspects of our lives, this could be applied. Just like love, if that certain friend isn’t into you, then someone out there is destined for you. Maybe, it’s not the right time for your paths to cross but eventually, you’ll get there. This happening in your life will help you to understand that in every failure or rejection, there are greater things that come along with it. And if you happen to meet the one who is meant for you, in the end, you’ll be grateful that you went through this phase.
Love is not always a give and takes process because, in reality, you can’t force someone to return back the love you have given to him/her. You must understand that not all things will work how we want them to be. Soon, this pain you are experiencing right now will fade and you can finally move on. Just believe that everything has a purpose and it’s for the best.
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Chinese Translation: 摆脱对朋友的单恋的10个方法
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8 Tips to Let Go of the Past and Move Forward to a Better Life
I met her 4 years ago. We got close and I never had any feelings for her because I was in a very toxic relationship at the time. About 6 months ago I caught feelings out of nowhere and decided to never say anything because we were planning on living together. I hoped to kill these feelings and deal with this on my own. Eventually it got to the point where I had to tell her for the sake of the friendship. She decided to not change a thing and get closer to me, and it went from confusion to joy. I looked forward to seeing her more and more each day and when we got to the point where we agreed to date I was so ridiculously happy. Everything felt right and I felt considered which is very rare. Unfortunately after the first date she shot me down. It hurt, if I could redo that date until I got the right steps I would, just to keep that limbo where my happiness made me feel invincible. I’m shattered and I’m trying to distance myself because I’m so emotional. I’m embarrassed at how much I invested into this and I’m terrified of losing the friendship. While I’m distancing myself and I miss her dearly, she’s still around and she’s perfectly fine and I can’t hide that I’m not. It’s frustrating that my ego causes me to look for hope in the smallest interactions because that comfort we have is intoxicating. Those little moments and little movements she does make me waiver and I can’t even look at her. I’ve been down, and I hate it, I feel like I’m being a bother to her but I just can’t help it. Nothing is right, food doesn’t taste the same and I’m feeling like a refugee from another parallel universe. I decided to still live with her and I hope I don’t mess this up.
Hey! Very similar story to mine!! Also been friends with her for over 4 years and then out of blue I fell in love with her. She is my best friend, we had 1 night together but then she said she was just curious. Now I told her I love her and she is not at all interested and feels sorry she can’t give me what I want. We see each other almost every other day and also likely to live together. I run out of ideas how to get over her because I can’t bear a fact that distancing myself and seeing her less is needed. Every day I look forward to seeing her. How is your situation now? Did you end up living together? Did you manage to kill off those feelings and save your friendship? It’s so unbelievably tough!!!
i liked my senior and for one and a half years i struggled with that alone. i kept denying the fact that i liked her and was telling myself that it was just pure affection for a friend, but i was wrong. almost all the time i would be thinking about her, i honestly wanted to get her out of my mind but i couldnt 🙁 i think i was more clingy to her during that period of time and was like super weird because she wont do the same to me ofc because she didnt have feelings for me as well. also the thing is i couldnt tell her my feelings bc shes straight so even if i told her my feelings i knew that it would be a no LMAO AND SHE’LL PROBABLY JUDGE ME LOL HELP T^T. but honestly im glad i got over her but i think im starting to develop feelings for another girl who is my close friend LOL HELP this is never ending ;-; ok thanks for reading HAHAHAH
It’s been 4 months. I adore him. I’m a sucker for someone that cares because I’ve always craved for the love and care he so effortlessly gives. I don’t know whether I love him or I am just attached. I told him, I had too. He said sorry. Although he is the best person ever and we get along so well. It’s still rejection. I’m trying to create the distance but how when it’s so effortlessly perfect. He said he is broken from his past but is he broken until the perfect person comes along. What is he searching for that I am unable to give? I am now searching for my own self love and gain. I accept that feelings that be forced or reciprocated as much as we have always wanted this to be the case. I know eventually we will distance and this will fade and become just a memory. It doesn’t change the fact that we are so effortlessly perfect for one another. ILY my G.
After reading everyone elses’ comments I don’t feel so alone. I met my best friend in our first year of law school and we are graduating this semester. He lived in the hotel next to the school during the semester so we would hang out every day and I would even sleep over most nights (nothing ever happend except for one kiss ). About a year ago, I confessed my love for him and he didnt even give me a straight answer which I should have taken as a no and moved on then but I didn’t and its been over two years and I still cry every single day because I want more from him. He ended up dating someone else through quarantine and the summer which killed me but then we went back to normal when we were both working in our schools clinic this past semester.
Its emotionally draining texting nonsense every single day and I still hope and pray that hes gonna confess back which he probably never will. But at the same time when I take breaks from texting him I get so paranoid and think hes with another girl and I get sad and start doubting myself.
On top of all this, during these 2 years I sought advice for this from online psychics and probably spent close to 10k trying to get answers about us. They would always say in the coming weeks hes gonna tell you bla bla bla and that definitely made the healing process worse.
I never told anyone any of this but everyones comments made me want to open my heart too. I know I need to gradually distance myself from him and finally move forward but I miss his company so much. I miss hanging out for hours on end. I just always wished that he would just kiss me again. But now deep down I know I have to start healing.
Please stay positive. You are still young and more chances for you to meet new friends. Pray for the good to come. You may meet a good and better one in your new working space soon. Cheers!
That was amazing. With a heart like that he missed out in what was right in front of his eyes. Don’t give up, people are praying to find someone like you.
Hello Nicole,
Same thing happened to me. I fell in love with my best friend, we also met on our first year of collage and we are few months from graduating. He hurt me badly, but then came back during quarantine and asked me to forgive him. I did it knowing I still had feelings for him. We hang out a few times and things happened between us, yet he insisted we should just stay friends. I talked to him a couple of days algo and told him I was never going to be able to see him as a friend ever again. I’ve been hurting over a long time.
I truly understand how you are feeling, and also came to this website to find answers, but I guess sometimes in life we have to accept things the way they are and move on. I know it is hard and unrequited love is terrible, but I’m sure that somebody is going to give you the love you deserve and love you with all his heart. Sometimes moving on is the only thing we need to let new, exciting things into our lives. I wish you the best and hope you (we) get to heal soon!
Sending love to all of you and one in particular.
If it is meant to be it will be.
Be honest and true.
Live a fabulous life
I love you JMM.. Always & Forever, I’ll always be there for you girl : )
I’m not sure I’m in love with you, I’ve never had the opportunity to fall in love before so I don’t know what it feels like. But I know that I adore you. All I want to do is cuddle you, do cute things with you, spend time with you, be there for you, take care of you and spoil you. I want to shower you with so much affection that you’ll be sure I’ll never leave. And I want you to give me the same. But I know you can’t, you said yourself you’re not ready for any commitment and I understand. You chose to be my friend rather than lead me on and I thank you for that, because being your friend makes me so happy. But at the same time it hurts and I don’t know what to do. Being your friend hurts but so does the idea of distancing myself from you. So I’m stuck here, writing to you on some website you’ll never read, saying these things into the void because I can never tell you. I miss you so much. I hope we both find happiness, together or apart.
I could have written that myself. I’m going through the exact same thing.
Let’s find a little bit of peace knowing at least that we are not alone in feeling this awful feeling. The worst time for me is when I wake up early in the morning and can’t go back to sleep because I get that pang in the stomach when I remember there’s nothing but friendship between us anymore.. and that another woman is experiencing his warmth instead of me. Ouch. X
Honestly it hurts,trying to move on but all I can do is look around this room and remember all those memories. I’m happy they happened they just cause me a horrible pain in my heart. I hate how I stay up late just to think things that won’t be. I hate crying over you, I hate being jealous over you, I hate feeling insecure around you, I hate how I miss looking at the stars with you, I hate how I feel in love with your beautiful green eyes. Honestly I’m just tired of running after you and tried of trying to make you laugh or smile, I’m tired of wasting my energy for nothing, I’m tired of just everything. After all that I still love you. This is how I know moving on from you will suck but for now I’m happy I get to look in those Emerald eyes and I’m happy to look at the stars and cuddle you on a cold night or just go look at the stars honestly I don’t care where or what time it is I will always be in love with you.
Am so feeling romantically attracted to my male best friend..Have felt this for a long time, at first I thought the reason behind my feelings is because I was a loner buh noo am deeply in love with him
We from the same college,basically doin the same course..we like always together.
He’s a married man with a happy family.
One time he confessed that he’s much close to falling for me and I felt goosebumps all over buh when he goes home and meets his wife,,ik that guilt eats him up .It’s hard to let you go Wan buh it’s for my best. I don want to ruin our strong bond friendship for jus my stupid feelings for you..
She was my roommate up until two months ago tomorrow…
I love her deeply, but sadly, she’ll never see me as anything more than a friend.
…She’s already with someone else anyway, on a long distance relationship… Even if she wasn’t, she already told me a few times that she’ll never be interested in me romantically because of our age difference (she’s 27 and I’m 38) as well as how I am.
I so wish that I could change that but sadly, it’ll never happen…
She has the sweetest smile, and is the most beautiful women ever, with her slender physique, her long blonde and curly hairs with blue-gray eyes in which you could drown.
She’s also the smartest, currently doing a PhD in marine biology.
She’s the nicest person I’ve ever met and I’ll always love her!
I love you Sophia! Even if you’ll never return that love, I’ll always be there for you and will always support you!
I love you Usama Bin Maalik…..always have..always will…I am still hoping that we do end up together..InshaAllah..
I hurt everyday. My best friend lives with me and I love him so deeply. Lol he’s gay asf, but before he come out I genuinely just let my heart go. He doesn’t want anything to do with me cause I’m a girl. I can’t help but feel slightly insecure but I know I shouldn’t. I’m a baddie. He currently lives with me. Which makes the situation harder but he really needs me rn, and it’s so hard trying to be a good friend while at the same time dealing with emotions I don’t have control over. Like how do you turn off your heart, body, mind? Like HOW did I end up here? Why do I feel helpless?
I had a crush on my best friend who told me he liked me too but we weren’t dating then college came and suddenly he became distant and I began to feel as if he has met another girl …please what do I do because this is very heart breaking.
i want us to be together
I Love You Rob❤But Were Friends, i knew you want just friends but i cant help it. your my friend so staying as a friends, i will continue my play pretend for you😊even if it hurts me. i love you bro. like they always say “Everything Happens For A Reason” Maybe someone out there can make me fall❤I Love You Friend “Rob G. Villaruz”
I’m glad I’m friends with you Johnny, it just hurts
I thought relationship is something I can go into without full understanding
It hurts a lot to see people you love go away and it also hurts to be addicted to love at first sight
It pains a lot that it makes me cry Everytime I feel distanced from people whom I love
But It becomes somehow wierd when the love you have for someone is one sided
i love her so much
I’ve been in this situation for almost two years with my closest friend. We always got on really well before but we got very close when her marriage broke down and I deeply empathised with her. When it all came to an end she rebounded, I panicked and revealed that I had feelings for her. We were honest with each other, she told me how she was feeling at that moment and that she was happiest with being my friend. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through.
That was a year and a half ago and our friendship is still good, I feel at times like we are closer than ever, but I haven’t been able to shake my love for her. I can’t really create that distance because we work together, and she is such a kind and generous individual which makes it even harder.
She’s been in a relationship since a couple of months after we spoke; the day I found out was the same day she brought in something that she had painted just for me. The conflicting emotions I felt that day still leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I haven’t been able to hide my envy of it on multiple occasions, including today. She can pretty much see right through me so I’m sure that she is aware of all of this too. Some of our peers have pointed out (publicly and rather embarrassingly) that we would make a good couple, so it’s very much out there despite everything. None of it seems to make her want to spend less time with me, so I know that she still values me in spite all this potential awkwardness.
Maybe I should move on, and I have tried, but I really do think the way I feel when I am with her is worth going through these periods of pain.
I don’t know what the future holds for us. I still love her so much and I continue to hold onto the hope that someday fate will be kinder.
I love you B X
I love you Zyannah💕🥺💗
I will always love you. Even if were just friends I’ll always be by your side.
Today marks the one-year anniversary of my confession to my friend and also the day that he rejected me. It’s so frustating and sad that I can’t seem to stop myself from liking him. I’ve tried to move on so many times but I always end up chatting and hanging out with him. But, I promise this will change today. It won’t be easy, I know, but I have to do this for myself. Kalilimutan na kita, E.
i am a teacher who has a learner that has a crush me from the time she was in primary school.She still has that love for me.I never encouraged it but i now realize how painful it is to her.Lord God help to heal this person.She also told me the teachers that had a crush on me and one left the school because she couldnt be with me as i am married and she too,Again i didnt encourage this.What do i do to help all those that loved me and not mess their lives ,I am a humble person and never took advantage of any of the situations,i could have easily had an affair but i didnt.So help me to heal those lost souls,She told me today i am a very confusing personand wants to know what goes on in my mind.I feel hurt in that they are hurt.I love my wife .
I have been in her shoes with my supervisor. I am disabled and I have had feelings for my supported employment supervisor. He tells me to treat him like other Supervisors. It can’t happen because he would get fired on the spot. Just continue to pray for her.
i wish i had no feelings whatsover.
In this precious moment of you being loving and caring let me die now instead of not
Knowing your love.
I’m going through this phase. I’m shattered in pieces. Thanks for this…this is so helpful.
I will always love you. You’re the one person who understands me, and it’s a shame you see me as a sister. But I’ll make sure nothing changes. If you like him, I’ll support you. He clearly likes you, too, and you make one another happy. You’ve always had trouble in your love life, and I don’t want to add to that list. You’ve cried to me about the guys you’ve hurt, and you’ve cried to me about getting rejected. Even if things don’t work out with him, I will always be here as your best friend. I don’t know if I can confess… I don’t want you to know you’ve hurt someone else—that would kill you. And it isn’t your fault you’re amazing and beautiful. You are the sun to me, so bright and warm. It’s no wonder so many have fallen for you. I’ve been going through a tough time for over a year, many ups and downs, but you’ve always stuck with me. I just realized how I feel, and now that I’ve thought about it, I know I’ve felt like this for a long time. This is a love letter to my favorite person in the entire world. And I hope you never end up seeing it. At least… not without me being the one to say it. Thank you, Raps.
Forgive my unintentional denial! But ILY adriana. This wouldn’t get out like want but its a good relief to get it out. Best of Luck to all in this Love Game!!!
Im sorry but im in love with you, hirzi.
Illyy ma cutieee 😭💓💓
ILY bezzy 😔 😢
ILy, beshie. 🙁