Reaching the dead end is probably the worst thing that could happen to a relationship. A breakup is both physically and emotionally painful. It doesn’t matter if it’s a short or long term relationship, if you truly loved that person, its impact is very hard to manage. The only thing you could do is to cope up with the pain and get over it.
Detaching yourself to someone you’ve been with for a long time is kind of an impossible thing to do. However, like any other challenges in life, you could get through it. Moving on is a process and it will take time for you to achieve the best result. Don’t rush things. Pair it with patience and enough support from your loved ones to be able to heal and mend your broken heart.
To learn how to move on after a breakup with your boyfriend, here are a few tips for you:
1. Cut off all contacts with him.
As a primary step in getting over your ex, restrain yourself from sending text messages or calling your ex or even seeing their relatives. Having a communication with him after the breakup won’t let you go any further on getting through with it. Change your phone number if necessary. Give yourself an ample time to breathe and feel its absence. Keeping a distance will surely be tough but it’s the least that you could do as a respect to the decision of parting your own ways.
2. Accept the emptiness.
Feeling an emptiness after a breakup is completely normal. Accept it. You were used to his presence for being together for a long time and without him, a big part of yourself had gone with it. Let yourself realize that he’s no longer by your side. He’s gone. Be strong and do not be afraid to face that truth. Do not let that missing piece consume your whole system. Sooner or later someone will fill that empty space in your heart and make it whole once more.
3. Give yourself enough time to grieve.
Breakup is a loss. And a loss deserves to be grieved. Whether you were the one who initiated the breakup or the other way around, it will still be really painful. Losing the one you really love has an unexplainable feeling of pain that no morphine could cure instantly. Confront this pain. Feel it because pain itself demands to be felt.
Permit yourself to grieve for a period of time. Let your emotions pour out. Scream at the top of your lungs. Cry as much as you like until it seems that tears no longer fall down from your eyes. Don’t give yourself a deadline on when you should stop this pain. It may take a week or a month or even more. Hindering yourself from the pain will only prolong the agony of your broken relationship.
4. Keep away all the things that remind you of him.
There are certain things that could trigger you to be reminded of the memories you had of him. It could be anything, a stuffed toy he gave you, jewelry or even handwritten letters. These could force you to reminisce your memories together. Having them around will constantly remind you of the old times. This will make it hard for you to have a progress on moving on. Throw them away or if you can’t do it, keep it somewhere far where you can’t easily see it. Just for the time being, while you’re still in the process of getting over your ex, it’s better to be far from them too.
5. Refrain from stalking your ex on social media.
The fastest way to get over your ex is to not actually see him and know his whereabouts. Stop yourself from stalking him on social media because it will just cause bitterness to you. Seeing him happy with his single life or with another girl (if there is one) would lower your self-esteem and belittle yourself. Avoid this also to prevent you from being dominated by the negativity brought by your breakup.
6. Forgive your ex and yourself as well.
In order for you to mend your broken heart, start by forgiving the one who hurt you. It’s a part of the restoration of your heart and soul. Forgive your ex for causing you a lot of pain and if there’s another person involved, forgive her too. And above all, forgive yourself too. Keep in mind that you also need to forgive yourself as well as the ones who hurt you. Doing this will give you peace of mind and slowly you’ll have the healing that your heart deserves.
7. Hangout with your family and friends.
Make more time to go out with your loved ones. Remember that your ex wasn’t the only one who loved you, your family and friends are there too. Go out with them often. Cherish your time being surrounded by the people who truly love you and who are always there to be your shoulders to lean on. The pace of getting over a broken relationship would be faster if you have a reliable support system with you. Forget your problem in the meantime and just enjoy being together with them.
8. Go on a relaxing vacation.
To get over your ex faster, you may need to be in a whole new environment. Take a break from the toxic effects of the relationship you had with your ex. Go on a relaxing trip by yourself. This won’t just give you time alone but also to seek inner peace. Meditate while you’re far away. Give yourself a time to think clearly and reflect on the shattered relationship you had.
9. Freshen up yourself.
What could be the best thing to do after a breakup is to transform yourself in the best way. After dealing with those sleepless nights of crying over your ex, it’s time to wipe out those tears and get yourself up. Freshen up. Pamper yourself more. Have a makeover from head to toe. Rock with a trendy hairstyle or start dressing up fashionably. Prioritize your own happiness. Focus on yourself and learn to love it even more. Don’t let the happening forgot about yourself too. Let this heartbreaking moment be a way to make the best version of yourself.
10. Try new hobbies.
As part of focusing on your own happiness, you should also try on something new such as hobbies. Find a hobby that you think is a challenge for you. In this way, you’ll be able to direct your attention to this new experience and eventually help you to get over your ex.
11. Be wise.
Your breakup didn’t happen just because of some random reasons. It happened because its purpose is to give you a life lesson. A lesson where you are taught to be a wiser and more mature person. Learn from this experience in order to correct the mistakes you did in your past once you start a new relationship. Be wise on arriving with your decisions and keep in mind the implications of your future actions.
12. Enjoy being single.
Being single is freedom. No one is going to put barriers on your actions. Enjoy the moment being free. Meet new people and make new friends. Go on trips anywhere you like. Explore more things without having to worry about a partner. Once you are back on being in a relationship, the freedom will be limited. Cherish the time of singleness while you’re still at it.
13. Learn its positive side.
Everything has its own reasons. And so as breakups. Yes, it’s painful but if you’ll look on the brighter side, it’ll make you realize that there are things that will make you feel grateful for breaking apart. Rather than thinking the hurtful consequences of the breakup, learn its good effects on an optimistic point of view. Think why you’re a lot better off without your ex. Maybe you were just incompatible with each other or you’re destined to someone better than him.
14. Believe that time heals everything.
Healing a broken heart will be achieved through the passing of time. Just like a physical wound, it heals as time goes by. Heartaches are just about the same. Through time those wounds on your heart will heal and you’ll be able to love again. Believe that even if it takes a lot of time, eventually you’ll get there. Don’t rush on moving on.
ALSO READ: 10 Inspirational Tips to Heal a Broken Heart
Moving on after a breakup is a rough journey, you’ll be needing enough strength to go on and move forward. Always pray to the Lord for strength to carry on this challenge. Know that you can overcome the pain of losing someone through His guidance. Also, sincerely pray for your ex’s happiness as well. This will avoid you to hold hatred in your heart and find that inner peace you’re longing.
When a chapter comes to its end, another one begins. Ending a relationship with your ex-boyfriend is not yet the end of your journey. It opens another door for the better things you truly deserve. Moving on process may be a lot more painful but together with positivity, eventually, you’ll find the right path to finally let go of the past and start anew.
ALSO READ: 7 Inspiring Ways to Move On After a Breakup
Photo by Murillo de Paula