You cannot achieve a better, stronger, happier and more lasting relationship without making yourself a better partner first. Before you wish your partner to change for the better, betterment must happen within yourself first. You cannot control or force your partner to do something to grow your romantic relationship. But you have the power to control and change yourself to lead and inspire growth in your relationship.
So how does one become a better partner? Here are 20 ways you can do to strengthen your partnership of love with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse:
1. Have more patience.
Learn how to wait longer for anything that is good for your relationship without complaining, getting angered or getting frustrated. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is late, don’t unleash tantrums like a child. If your husband or wife can’t immediately provide you the thing you ask for, don’t freak out and get mad easily. By showing more patience, you will surely become a better partner.
2. Be proactive rather than reactive.
Show more actions and solutions rather than reactions. Are you facing financial problems with your spouse now? Don’t get sad or annoyed and be consumed by your emotions but rather start looking for a solution, such as working for extra hours and creating a new source of income.
3. Practice more humility.
Don’t be a slave of pride and arrogance. Break free from them and start being humble to your partner. Accept that you, as a person, also have flaws just like anyone else. No matter how good or powerful you are, allow yourself to go down or low to show care, support, respect, forgiveness, and love itself to your partner.
ALSO READ: 7 Ways to be Humble in a Relationship
4. Be passionate about personal development.
To be a better partner, you have to be a better person as a whole. Hence, don’t just work on enhancing your romantic skills and capabilities, but also work on improving your virtues and attitude as a person. In other words, don’t just be the sweetest, funniest and most romantic partner but also be the kindest, most mature, loving, and honest partner to her or him.
5. Let kindness rule in your heart.
Good and bad elements can reside in your heart. But it’s up to you which of them will you allow to live. To be a better lover, let kindness rule your heart, not meanness, hatred, and selfishness. Remember that love is kind. Thus, if you want to be a better lover, check your heart and see to it that it’s kindness and not its opposite that rules inside.
6. Be a gentle person.
No matter how you pull a chair for your girlfriend or share your coat with her to comfort her or protect her from physical harm, if you keep on hurting her inside, your chivalry would be nothing. Be gentle with your partner, not only to protect her from physical injuries but also from mental and emotional harm. In other words, be gentle not only with your partner’s body but also with her heart, mind and even spirit.
7. Be grateful and content.
Thank your partner for coming into your life. Appreciate her or his gifts, efforts, and sacrifices, whether they are big or small. Do not envy other people for what your partner, your relationship and yourself lack. Let your partner realize how she or he completes your life.
8. Be a better listener.
It’s good that you always listen to what comes out from your partner’s mouth. But do you also listen to what her heart and mind say? To be a better partner, listen deeper. Though your significant other may tell you she or he is okay, her or his heart may say otherwise. To be a better listener, look into their eyes, pay close attention, and be passionate about knowing your partner more.
9. Respect your partner.
Do not ignore your partner’s rights, feelings, and wishes. Respect her as a woman or him as a man. Respect your relationship and your promises to protect and nurture it. And don’t forget to also respect yourself.
10. Love yourself.
Your partner will always want you to take care of yourself. She or he will be worried to see that you are not okay. Hence, learn to love and take care of yourself. Avoid things and activities that will get you sick. Stop smoking, drunkenness, and even gluttony. Don’t be sad and get stressed. Maintain good physical and mental health so you can always be fit to serve, help and protect your significant other.
11. Love your partner’s family members.
Don’t just love your partner, but also love her or his parents and siblings. This will show that you truly care. Also, the fact that you and your partner’s family are getting along will make her or him really happy. They are or will be your parents-in-law and siblings-in-law so you have to make a harmonious relationship with them.
12. Inspire your partner towards a healthy lifestyle.
A good partner sees to it that his or her beloved is always fit and healthy. Be a role model of good health. Encourage your partner to eat healthy foods and do regular exercise. Stop showing laziness. Be more active! Go to the gym together, jog at the park together, escape junk foods together – these are some of the activities you can do together to not only have a healthy relationship, but also a healthy living.
13. Work harder to grow your wealth.
Start saving your money. Stop spending it on vices, like gambling, drinking, and smoking. Furthermore, start saving your time. Stop spending it on unproductive activities like too much gaming or lurking on social media. Instead, use it to work harder and earn more wealth for the future of your partner and children.
14. Don’t think about cheating.
The worst partner is a cheater. So if you want to be a better partner, never ever cheat and break the heart of the one you love.
15. Move on from the past.
See to it that you have already completely moved on from your exes. Focus on your current partner now. Surrender your whole heart and mind to her or him. Give your partner pure love. And never think of comparing the one you love now with the ones you have loved in the past. Comparing your current relationship to your past relationships will only make your mind clouded. Remember that to have a healthy relationship is to have a fresh mind and heart for your partner.
16. Make honesty a habit.
Being honest is not a one-time act – it’s a consistent practice. You cannot just promise to your partner that you won’t lie again – you have to prove it. Lying is one of the most difficult habits to break. If you want your significant other to have a better partner, practice honesty daily until it becomes your habit. Try your best to not make a lie, even the smallest ones. Take note that lying is addicting. Better be addicted to honesty rather than lies.
17. Have faith in action.
Be faithful to your partner, not only in words but most importantly in actions. As the Scriptures say, “faith without works is dead”. Faith is the substance of the things you hope for. For example, if you are hoping to marry your girlfriend soon, don’t just wish for it, but do something to make it a reality. Work overtime to save more money for your wedding, start buying an engagement ring for your proposal, create a viable wedding plan – these are some of the works you can do to substantiate the wedding you are hoping for.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Remain Faithful in a Relationship
18. Always make your partner happy.
You will know if you are a good partner if your better half is always happy. You don’t need to be a good comedian or a funny guy to give joy to your loved one. What you need is a caring heart that always protects your partner’s heart from any harm. Therefore, always make her or him happy even in simple ways. Remember your partner’s special days, cook his favorite food, surprise him with gifts, or give her a relaxing massage. Be your partner’s relief or solution, not a problem.
19. Be happy.
If your partner loves you, your happiness will be her or his happiness too. So don’t just make your partner happy, but see to it that you are also happy. You cannot be a better partner if you are always sad, worried and cynical with life. You cannot make your partner happy if you can’t even make yourself happy. Happiness must start within you. Hence, learn how to be positive with life and be joyful even during hardships so that you will always be abundant with happiness which you will be sharing with your partner.
ALSO READ: How to be Happy in a Relationship in 8 Ways
20. Know what true love is and give it to your partner.
Finally, show your partner what true love really means. Let her or him experience how to be truly loved. But of course, before you can give real love, you must learn and understand what a genuine love first. You need to have the wisdom to distinguish true love from fake love. You have to practice true love, not only a day, a month, or a year, but a lifetime or even more. Besides, true love endures forever, isn’t it?
ALSO READ: 22 Signs of True Love in a Relationship
To be a better partner, you have to work on giving pure and true love to your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. In other words, you have to get rid of impurities and other things that corrupt your love. These impurities include pride, hatred, envy, mistrust, wickedness, dishonesty, and other things that destroy your relationship. They must be replaced with patience, humility, kindness, compassion, trust, respect, faithfulness, and other virtues that help your relationship grow and become healthy.
Becoming a better partner or lover is not easy. It’s hard, and many people may say that following the tips I have given above is not realistic. However, love is meant to be difficult. That is why it needs patience, humility, persistence, and other good virtues that will help you grow and transform, not only into a better romantic partner, but also a better, stronger, and more capable person.
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