Letting go of someone you still love is hard to do. You cannot imagine living your life without that person in it. This is why there are people who snap because of too much depression, lose the will to live a productive life, or worst, commit suicide.
However, the fact that you are reading this blog means you want to fight off the pain, move on, and continue living your life. That is a good thing. It may be a hard journey, but at least you are on your way to moving on.
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16 Ways to Move On When You Still Love Your Ex
Here are 16 ways that will help you move even if you still love your ex.
1. Do your best to fight for your love.
If you love the person, a friend once told me, fight for him/her as hard as you can—until you get tired of fighting. Being prideful, I found it foolish. However, I realized she was right. If you really love the person, do not give up on him/her immediately. No matter how stupid it seems, fight for your love. You may fail in getting him/her back, but at least you know you have done your best to save your relationship. This will help you avoid regrets in the future.
2. Accept that s/he is gone.
If fighting for your ex does not bring him/her back, you have to proceed to the next step: acceptance. Since there is nothing you can do to restore your relationship, you have to accept the reality that it is all over. Denying this fact would not help you a bit. That is why you need to condition your mind that s/he is not coming back.
ALSO READ: 14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back
3. Think that if you are meant to be, s/he will come back someday.
This is different from holding on. You open yourself to possibilities. To make it easier for you to accept that s/he is gone, believe that someday you will get back together if the two of you are meant to end up with each other. Leave everything to destiny—that is your only hope, whether you like it or not, because you already did your part and nothing happened.
4. Let go of memories and the things that remind you of him/her.
I know this is hard to do, but if you are serious about forgetting the person, you need to courageously let go of everything that connects you, including the memories. Stop reminiscing about your good times together because it would only hurt a lot. Return his/her things, throw or burn those s/he gave you unless keeping them does not affect you much.
ALSO READ: 8 Tips to Let Go of the Past and Move Forward to a Better Life
5. Direct your focus to other important areas in your life.
Life is not all about love and romance. That means you can still live even if you have no boyfriend/girlfriend. Divert your attention to other areas such as career and personality development. Look at how many career-oriented people set aside romance so they can focus on becoming successful. Maybe this kind of perspective can suit you for now.
One of the temptations of brokenhearted people is stalking their ex. Admit it, you cannot resist the urge of checking the social media accounts of your ex because you miss him/her. You want to know how s/he is doing and if s/he gives away any hint of missing you too. How can you move on, then? To avoid this, decide to go on online hiatus for months or until such time you can resist the temptation already.
7. Stop communicating with his/her family or friends.
You might keep on reaching out to your ex’s relatives or friends, hoping the contact can help you stay close to him/her. It is like asking for reinforcement from them to help you get back together. However, if your ex gets mad knowing about it, then it is a sign you need to stop. Plus, you only make it hard for you to forget him/her.
8. Find someone you can talk to about your feelings.
Having someone who would patiently listen to your whines and cries even if you are only talking about the same thing is therapeutic. At this point, you need less advice. What you need is a listening ear so you can express your feelings without judgment. Find a family member or friend whom you can trust and who understands what you are going through.
9. Do not rush moving on.
I know you want to forget the pain as soon as possible, but it does not happen that way. Be patient with yourself. The more you try to move on faster, the harder it gets. You cannot force a wound to heal fast, right? The moment you think it has healed because it already dried up and you peel its skin, blood comes out again.
10. Avoid being alone.
Depression is a common effect of heartbreak—and you probably know how it can be devastating. To avoid getting depressed or to overcome it, always surround yourself with people. If you are staying in your own place alone, find a friend to stay with you for a while, or if possible, go home to your family. They will surely understand.
ALSO READ: 16 Ways How Not to Be Sad All the Time
11. Be physically active.
I have been repeating this in my other blogs—you should engage in physical activities. Do regular exercise or find a sport you can enjoy. Aside from the enjoyment, which helps you forget about your pain for the moment, it will help your body release endorphin—a pain reliever hormone.
12. focus on other people important to you.
Your ex is not the only person you love. You still have your family and friends. Just direct your effort and care to these people. They are the ones who stay with you at this hard time, so they deserve to be treated special. Spend time with them, especially your family.
13. Focus on loving yourself.
Aside from your family and friends, you, yourself, deserve your love as well. Instead of thinking you are unlovable because your ex left you, be the first one to encourage yourself. Eat healthily, get enough sleep, and avoid stress so that you will stay fit. Pamper yourself and be attractive—not for anyone else but yourself.
14. Find a new passion.
Romance is not the only thing that can keep you passionate. Discover your talents and interests. Use this opportunity to find what you are good at. Maybe you can have a new hobby like painting or playing instruments. Focus your thoughts and energy on it so that you will feel productive. This will help you avoid depression.
15. Be happy for your ex.
If you still love your ex, it means you have to be selfless about his/her happiness. Even if it hurts, pray for him/her to be happy in the new chapter of his/her life—even if without you. Love is not self-seeking. You should want the best for the person you love, even if it is a sacrifice on your part.
16. Consciously decide to be happy.
There are bad circumstances you cannot stop from happening because you cannot control everything. However, you can do something about your response to what happens around you. Therefore, instead of allowing depression and loneliness to suffocate you, strengthen your will to decide to be happy. As the cliché goes, happiness is a choice. Decide to look at the bright side always. It is easier said than done, but it is not impossible.
ALSO READ:
- 14 Ways to be Happy and Strong After a Breakup
- 9 Evident Signs God Wants You to Move on From a Relationship
There is life after a breakup.
There are still other things you can do even if you have lost the person you love. Do not allow the pain to stop you from living. Live for those who constantly love you. Live to pursue your dreams. Live for yourself.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Books recommended for you:
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Chinese Translation: 当你还爱着前男/女友时，16种让你放下前进的方法
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My boyfriend left me for no reason and him and I have been dating since 2016 I met a lot of his friends so I feel better that I have someone to talk to but I was broken hearted so much that I was depressed for a over 2 months but today I have a new boyfriend that sings to me and i’m still a little sad but I will get over it someday 🙂
I once been loved by a girl and nothing is wrong with that. I knew exactly how you feel cause I’m now that someone she used to love. It’s been months but I still love and miss her deeply. You will be alright and trust that one day you will find the one you truly deserve.
This post means a lot to me.
I really am struggling though.
Greetings..its my first timr reading this…its because all along i have told myself am strong but right i realise i am not..am dating a guy three years older than me..when he approached me,he told me he was single and i believed him..along the way i discovered there was someone else i kept quiet then after three months i asked him about and yeah my fears were confirmed..he tells me she came after me but i believe she was there when i came into the picture..now am caught up in between keeping him or letting him go because knowing there is someone else just breaks my spirit. But thank you for the encouragement:)
I don’t know what’s she wants, been married for 10 years, separated for last 8 months. I want back but she don’t want me now. We got 2 kids and just now spending Christmas together. She saying is doing that only for kids and pretend to be happy family. Not giving me any attention. Is she using me or there is something left? I’m getting crazy, don’t know what to do?
My bf left me but I still love him the worst is that the guys that r coming for me now I dont have feelings for any of them my ex is still in my mind but I need to forget him and move on
Hello, I’m so heartbroken my ex left me 9 weeks ago but Been playing head games with me since saying he loves me and wants me but needs to be alone, I feel like I’m grieving and he’s died it’s hurting that much, never loved before I can’t eat or sleep keep wondering what is he doing or who with, we lost a baby in April I had mmc at 12 weeks so I’ve been heartbroken since then but now I’ve lost my baby soulmate and boyfriend it’s killer me! The thought of him moving on and being with anyone else knocks me sick! How can I over come all of this I’ve had loads of card readings all day different so I don’t know what to believe
I have been dating my boyfriend for three years now. And now he is not serious with me anymore and doesnt wanna be commited to me. He has hurt me a lot in these three years..he keeps ignoring me.. we have done everything together…wheneva he needs anything from me he is very sweet but otherwise he doesnt give a damn about me. I feel really hurt and painful right now..i dont knw what to do anymore as i have tried to do everything i can from my side…literally everything….i still love him so much…even now he is ignoring my messages and not replying and not telling if he wants to be with me not..if he doesnt wanna be with me he can just breakup na..he is not even telling that and putting me on the dark side…..i feel very very sad and hurt…. please i need a therapisy who can help me overcome this pain cuz i get panic attacks and i feel really empty..i dont feel like waking up in the morning… i have sleepless nights..this feeling is horrible..please someone help me
Two days ago, we ended things between us. We’ve been long distance for 5 months now because he is in the army. I was originally planning of letting him go while we are apart, however, when I called him to talk about it, everything backfired to me. I asked him who I am to him. I told him how I no longer feel secure with him and that he changed. But turns out he still high hopes for us, however, my lack of confidence with what we have made him decide that we should just end it. Now I can’t accept it. I really love this guy. After knowing that are feelings for each other are still there, I don’t want to end it anymore. I just want to wait for him to go home. However, our bigger problem now is we are always going to be long distance one way or another. I am still studying and I can’t just move my life for him. I can’t just leave my family and my whole life for us to be in one place. I want us to work. I am still not ready to let him go because I feel like we haven’t had our chance to really express what we feel for each other. We’ve only been physically together for one month because he had to leave for his military training after that. He is my first. I am really having a difficult time right now. I want us to work. I want us to make a compromise then after I finish my school, I can move with him or he can also find a job in our own province. My heart feels like it’s going to explode. How do I move on from this? Can we still make this work?
This is what i needed to see that im not the only one… I still love n want him back so its been almost a month now .. Jus going to c where life takes my heart now if he comes back or doesn’t it hurts so much but i know ill get thru this
It is a great blog post.Helpful and informative tips. I like it thanks for sharing this information with us
He left me…..I did all I could…….we weren’t dating but we act as one…..we do everything together….I send him lots of my nudes……the first time he left….he was hearth broken by the girl…..he came back to me….and …..for d second time he has left me again…..am not so my self…..please I need an online therapist
good advice but I still need help, i was talking to this boy for almost 6 months now he took my virginity and all that like I truly love him and constantly time after time he puts other girls before me like even after the breakup wed still link up and things and he’d tell me not to worry about the other girls hes talked to and recently we had a bad falling out and i blocked him on social media and apparently he talks to a new girl now and he claims hes in love and he sends her our messages and basically embarrasses me and i use to cry about it but im honestly numb towards the pain but its like i dont wanna let go because after everything he really brought me true happiness but i refuse to keep letting him hurt me yk ?
We just broke up with my bf right now, I love him too much, I felt the emptiness, I just cried right now ,there’s a part of me that is willing to move on and the other side is not,… I don’t know what to do and when to start, I’m just too helpless right now. I miss him but things is not favorable to us. He is my first but I think not my last. Can I receive some advice of what I am going to do?
We both still love each other, but due to distance and other personal reasons, we broke up. I couldn’t help but miss her every second. Even breathing hurts now. Tried to move on but I just can’t. We had been living together for the last 6 months. We have been through lock down together and it just left so much memories to us. Memories haunt me every minute and every second. How do I suppose to move on? I really just wish that we could get back together but it is an impossible as she had made up her decision. Really wanted to talk to her but she just don’t want to hear from me anymore. I lost my motivation to do everything I used to do, can’t focus on work, can’t eat and sleep, what more can I do? It is just hard to live on.
Thank you for the tips, I was in a relationship for 4 years, I found out after 2 years he was always having affair with another women .. he always made me believe that she is after him and don’t leave him alone later found out it was all lies and he is the one who wanted her.
He was very abusive and finally I decided to ended it but I am struggling to get them both out of mind … he is always on my mind and yes i do stalk his social media to find out what he is doing ….I don’t know how to cope with the breakup as its slowly killing me:(
Thanks for the tips, I have been in a relationship for 7 years, now I am 25, maybe we were too young to fall in love, in 7 years we have known each other very well, we grew from being childish to being mature, our families were also ok, I was already working but when she started working recently, time and communication became our problem, we both knew v we’re facing time issues, I was also grumpy that she got feddup and decided to break so that she can concern trate on her career, I understood my problem, I went to make the things right for her which annoyed her more. And now it’s been one year apart. I can’t get her out my mind everyday, I know I’ll love her forever, but I want to let her go and have her life and she has been moving on because I was checking on her through Facebook, and it only made me hurt myself more, can u give some stronger dose of tips
My ex treated me so bad because she found someone to love. When we were together we love each other somuch but immediately she started having sex with the new guy she completely abundant me. But I love her so much but even as that my heart is finding it difficult to stop loving her, she is my only hope. What can I do to win her back to me
I still love my ex so much,though I was the one who cause the broking up of a thing,I leave without leaving messages or called him for good 2yrs and he let me go and now we do message each other as a friend his not talking like he want me back what should I do?
Thanks so much for these tips dear, it really helped a lot. I found out I wasn’t the only girl in his life because of some certain decisions he made, so I had to breakup with him and I decided to move on. Seriously it hasn’t been easy for me all these days but I can’t do anything. Although I still have this love for him in me that I can’t let go of. But after reading this, I figured out I just have to let him go.
I’m so great-full, thanks for your help.
I have been separated from my ex now for 10 weeks, we had a 2 year relationship, at first I couldn’t do anything and I didn’t want to do anything; my work suffered as well as my health I didn’t want to eat or drink, all I could do was hide under the covers and cry, I just literally wanted to die and prayed that God would just come and take me.
A little time passed but the pain was still there, I of course had done everything to try and get her back, but she had already moved on and found someone new, I am still coming to terms with it being over and I wont lie it is very hard to do. I have managed to put away the photos of her and us, and have not looked at them even though it was hard to do. I ruminated about everything. Yes, we had our ups and downs, but ultimately she didn’t love me enough/or maybe even at all. For me now the situation is a little easier, i cry on occasions, and thoughts of what we used to do – but try to put these to the back of my mind as much as possible. I still go to bed and awake each day thinking of her, there is still a pain in my heart when I think about her/us – but am hoping that this will ease over time, it has eased very slightly. Of course I still love her, but I am trying to accept that nothing I say or do will bring her back to me and that the relationship is over and has been now for sometime.
I pray for just a little slight relief each and everyday and just have to hope that with time it gets easier.
There’s been so much great advice shared here that I’ve decided to share my struggle with you all.
I dated a guy for 6 years whom I never felt so aligned with. He made me feel so alive, the passion, our moments together, our chemistry, our connection. I left him because he was 6 years younger and I felt he was getting curious about other women, and I was starting to feel “not good enough” since he was younger, but was also more successful than me financially and it made me feel terrible. I decided to end the relationship so that I can let him figure out what he wants, and so that I can focus on becoming the woman I wanted to be, without the distractions of the relationship. It’s 6 years later, and I still love him. We saw eachother a couple of times since and the sparks were there. He confirmed that he wouldn’t want to get back together since it would be going backwards, and he doesn’t want to open that can of worms due to the pain I made him feel for leaving unexpectedly.
I’m now engaged to someone else, but I often think about my ex, almost like there’s some unfinished business. I feel it in my heart but I’m not sure what to do. I definitely don’t love my current partner as much as my ex, but our relationship is definitely more stable. He’s an excellent life partner.
So what’s better – to risk losing what I have to seek what I once shared with my ex? Or simply let go of the past, and focus on the present moment with my current, soon to be husband.
My fear is living in regret.
I was with my ex for 7 years; he was my first love. My first everything. We were together since my freshman year of high school. I’m 28 now and I can still remember the shear devastation when he decided to leave me for another girl. Even so, I still love him but have spent the next 7 years moving on. They say that you never truly stop loving your first love. That has remained true for me.
The first 3 years were the hardest to get over. At the time he left me, I was pregnant and miscarried due to trauma of his decision to leave. I cried every day and I dreamt of him and my unborn baby every night. I can honestly say my dreams were the best place to be as I could hold him and my baby again and talk to them as a family. Waking up from those dreams would send me whirling back into reality which added to my trauma. I almost dropped out of college due to my depression and anxiety. I couldn’t focus. Also Yes, it took me 3 years to grieve properly. It was the hardest thing I had to do.
The next 4 years after that was a very slow path to self discovery. I had to realize that I needed to reinvent myself without him. I put myself out there on the dating scene again, started lifting weights, went to graduate school and I met someone whom I’m with currently. It may seem as though I have it all figured out. Well, I don’t. Sometimes, I still find myself thinking of my ex, the pain, the love, and the what-ifs.
He’s married now with a child. And I’m soon to be married this year. I have done everything suggested on this page yet the heart wants what it wants. I honestly don’t know what else to do besides therapy which I have tried but it didn’t help.
I still love and miss my ex. I also love my new partner. Some may think I’m an idiot for having these feelings and shame me telling me I need to move on. All I can say is, I’ve tried. And when I love, I love deeply. This may a huge flaw in my character but I have sought some sort of therapy in the past; it didn’t help. I like to compare the death of my relationship to the death of losing a loved one: You learn to live without them but they still live within your heart.
If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know as I would like to put this behind me
I honestly feel like I’m dying inside slowly. The thought of loosing that one person that I was always sure you was my baby daddy and that one day I would build a home with him is so hard but I’ve tried everything and decided to let go as I couldn’t take the pain anymore.. I just wish I never knew him ever.. I wouldn’t be in this situation and if I would have to see him with another woman happily dating..I think my heart would stop.. I don’t see myself with anyone else however I will use these guidelines… Some of them I’ve already applied on my daily life. I will try and keep strong and thank you for the blog
My relationship of ten years with one beautiful girl just came to an end. She decided to leave me for another man just because I am still struggling to be successful. I cried and begged her to stay but she chose to go.
I feel my world has stopped
I do not have any motivation to work hard
Neither do I think I will love again, neither can I trust in true love again.
This hurts really bad!
I feel you.. it’s just hurt when u give all of u to her and she just left.. the pain is indescribable. But still wish that u can live a happy life.
I dated this guy seven months ago and our relationship has been Rocky but four months ago he moved away which broke my heart and he always promised and said he still loved me but there was no action proving that. I I’ve tried it all and I think it’s best I moved on because I think sometimes he uses me for sexual benefits on the phone and then it’s over. I just can’t believe anything he says on the phone because he had cheated on me so I just always think he’s lying.
I am in a relationship with a divorced lady with kids. I met her when things were tough on both sides . I helped her furnish her home and she got a good paying job. But of recent I noticed she has been calling and texting a particular colleague of hers daily exchanging videos and pictures, but yet she professes that is me she loves as the guy doesn’t know her house etc and been asking her out and that she refused. Anytime this issue arises she gets argues that I am not open minded to her being free and that I want to be controlling. Pls what should I do at this point as I am getting weaker by the day as I have come to love her much and the kids dearly? She said she I should get use to it instead of being controlling as she is a matured adult that knows how to handle her issues.
My situation is very complicated. She have a boyfriend living abroad but we fell in love. We were so happy that at one point when her boyfriend visited her, she choose me over him. Ive been through several relationships but she is the one that i truly fall in love with and i gave her everything. I even gave up my career promotion just to stay with her. But things changes throughout time. She felt that she couldn’t love me anymore cause i am a girl. Her family will not accept this and the society too. But I convince her that I don’t need anyone to know but this love is just between me and her. She say she just want us to be close friends but there are time she hug me more than a friend and she kiss me. Until oneday her boyfriend found someone else and leave her. That is when she was so broken and yet I am there for her. She just couldn’t accept me yet cause she say she just gone through a breakup. I told her I will wait. And i really waited. But somehow last month she fall for someone else. At first she say there is nothing but just flirting but eventually now they are in a relationship. She say she still need me and she want to keep me as a friend. She knew how i feel for her but yet right in front of me she hold his hand, she hug him, she kiss him just like what she did before with me. She totally ignore how i feel or maybe that is how she want to deny me. I am so broken. I am so lost. I dont know what to do. I try running away and take my time alone, even take some time with my family but i still coming back to her. What should i do?
I need help please
I was in a relationship where my girlfriend cheated on me 3 different times and I forgave her.cos I loved her and she promised not do such again and whereas she never cease to communicate with this guy. My female best friend of over seven years knew about this all along that my girl was cheating, Cos they are close.she cheated on me with my Bestie’s boyfriend’s friend.and they all knew about it.im so hurt.i feel not only broken hearted but also betrayed by people that was close to my heart
I’m ruined by him for 6years.he lied, he cheated on me. What not? I begged him to be with me by clearing all misunderstandings. I gave him tooo many chances.but he told he don’t need me anymore. I’m devastated. How can I move on.? He is no more In my life. But why do I think of him all the time? I cnt just stop thinking. Pls someone help me. I’m a medico. It’s affecting my studies , my family relationships . I want to be a doctor. But how can I just move on when he already left and started relationship with other girl?
I haven’t seen/treated any other guy in a wrong way, becs i loved Him with all my heart and mistaken that he loved me the same. Now here Im sitting broken.
So girls pls i beg u not to fall in love before you start a career. Focus on your career, Mom, Dad. Pls ignore boys. Don’t do the same mistake I did when I’m in teenage.
Thanks for the inspiring articles ❤️