Yes, it’s possible to live a fulfilling life even after a painful breakup. There are still many reasons for you to continue living, even if you have lost the love of your life. All you need to do is see things in a positive outlook.
Here are 14 practical ways that may help you be happy and strong after a painful breakup. Try doing them, and the weight you’re carrying now may be lightened up.
1. Accept the reality.
No matter how hard for you to accept it, the reality won’t go away. Accept it with an open mind and heart. It is the first step of moving forward. Letting go will be easier, because you won’t be clinging to false hopes.
2. Think it’s for the best.
Confront the situation with a positive attitude. You have to believe that everything happens for a reason, and this breakup is probably for the best. Who knows? There could be someone better meant for you. If your love for each other is true and you’re meant to be, I believe you’re going to be back to each other’s arms at the right time—when you’re better and more mature individuals.
3. Pray for your ex and yourself.
I believe in the power of prayer, because I personally experienced it in my own brokenness. That’s why I strongly encourage you to pray not just for yourself but even for your ex in this painful situation. Pray that both of you be guided by divine wisdom in dealing with the situation, so you won’t succumb to destructive distractions.
4. Divert your attention to productive causes.
Instead of idling the whole day in your room, be brave enough to face each day. Do your best to live a functional life despite the pain you’re going through. Devote your time to being productive at work or school. Try to accomplish as many tasks as possible, so that you’ll be distracted from your situation. You can also involve yourself in socio-civic activities.
5. Count your blessings.
Losing an important person in your life could feel like you’ve lost the whole world. However, if you would open your eyes and look around you, you’ll see that you actually still have a lot to thank for. Count all the blessings you have received. Be thankful for the loved ones who are still with you. Be thankful for the opportunities and even for the smallest good things.
6. Think that you deserve better.
If your breakup was because of a third party or being taken for granted, think of this as a chance for you to be free from someone who doesn’t see your real worth. You have to remind yourself that you deserve to be treated better. You deserve someone who will respect and treat you with utmost care.
7. Enjoy singlehood.
Being in a relationship for too long had probably kept you from doing some of the things you used to love doing. Mingling with friends from the opposite sex became limited; you couldn’t travel to far places alone for soul-searching; and you couldn’t make major decisions without your partner’s approval. Now that you’re single again, take this as an opportunity to enjoy life freely.
8. Spend more time with loved ones.
Your family won’t be around forever. For this reason, use your loneliness as a motivation to value your loved ones. Aside from distracting yourself from pain, you also get to enjoy the company of those who will always love you. Date your parents in a fancy restaurant or take them to a resort. Treat your siblings to the movie or play sports with them. Visit your grandparents or take time to listen to their stories.
9. Dare yourself in extreme adventures.
You need to release those heavy emotions, right? Convert your anger and negative energy into a driving force to do ‘crazy stuff’. Why not challenge yourself to try the things you have never imagined doing—like zip lining, bungee jumping, or skydiving? You can also go hiking and camping in the wild. Afterwards, you’d feel stronger and braver. Just make sure you get yourself proper outdoor gears/equipment, professional adventure/tour guide, and training to ensure your safety.
10. Surround yourself with positive people.
You need a positive environment. Therefore, avoid talking with emotional and depressed people as much as possible. Be surrounded with friends who will encourage you and make you laugh. Hang out with those who have experienced what you’re going through and are now living happily.
11. Don’t dwell in the past.
Stop thinking about your good old times together. Past is past and it will never happen again. Clinging to happy memories makes it harder to accept the reality that it’s all over. No matter how good your relationship was before, it’s all in the past now. That is the present.
12. Wish your ex all the best.
Being bitter hits you harder than the person who hurt you. Instead of cursing or wishing bad things to happen to your ex, forgive and pray for him/her to be happy and successful. This selfless act will help you more, because it is a positive and pure energy that cleanses your wounded soul. You’ll be healing faster.
13. Value yourself more than ever.
You’re the first person who can love yourself best. How you value yourself will determine how others will value you. If you lack self-respect (like allowing just anybody to flirt with you, or you enjoy being the subject of dirty jokes), then don’t expect receiving higher amount of respect from others. You have to set standards for yourself.
14. Be excited for what the future holds.
An ending can mean a new beginning. Use this breakup to motivate yourself to dream bigger dreams and expect greater things. Desire to meet a better person—and be a better person yourself. Learn from the past mistakes and use these lessons to be wiser in your next relationship.
It’s a new beginning indeed
Your recent breakup is not the end of the world. It could be your door to a better world for your future. You have to believe that there are better days ahead of you. This is a fresh start for you, so make the most of it.
Photo by Toa Heftiba