How do you survive a long distance relationship? Is it worth the wait, the uncertainties, the sacrifices, and the feeling of always longing for someone? Would you dare to love someone who’s oceans apart from you? And if you dare, how would you make sure you’ll be happy in the end?
Long distance relationships are hard to maintain and nurture. Couples in an LDR face great challenges that could weaken their love and affection, and end their relationship anytime. However, long distance relationships are not all disadvantages but they also offer benefits. If these advantages are harnessed, they can actually help these souls survive and actually be happy in a long distance relationship.
If you are in a serious long distance relationship right now or if you are just about to enter into this kind of relationship with a person whom you share true love with, fear no more, as I will be sharing some proven ways that will help you survive such tough relationship.
I was in a long distance relationship for 8 years with my ex-girlfriend. Now, my former girlfriend is already my wife. I know marriage has more difficult challenges than a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, but here are some tips that helped me survive our LDR for more than 8 years.
1. React positively.
Distance doesn’t kill a relationship. What kills it is the negative reactions of the couples in an LDR. In other words, how you will react with the distance in your relationship will determine the fate of your relationship. If you react with insecurity, mistrust, bitterness, pride, indolence, and hatred, your relationship will surely die. On the other hand, if you react with confidence, trust, acceptance, humility, diligence, and true love, your relationship will stay alive and even continue to grow.
2. Enjoy the benefits of LDR.
Long distance relationships have disadvantages, but they also have advantages. If you want to not just survive LDR but also actually enjoy it, just ignore the cons and concentrate on the pros. If you are physically away from your partner, you can take this as an opportunity to have more time and opportunities to develop yourself.
You can concentrate on your studies, career or business. You also have more time to go to the gym to be healthier or spend more quality time with your parents, siblings and other family members.
3. Build extraordinary trust in your relationship.
An extraordinary kind of relationship like LDR deserves extraordinary trust. To succeed in your long distance relationship you have to build a higher level of trust in that relationship. And since you cannot control your significant other, don’t force them to trust you or make your partner trustworthy, but focus on just trusting them and making yourself extraordinarily trustworthy.
In other words, get rid of your doubts and insecurities, especially if you don’t have evidence. Simply trust your partner and stop getting paranoid. And once you’re okay with trusting them, work harder to make yourself extraordinarily trustworthy. This means never lie to your long distance partner. In an extraordinary kind of relationship like LDR, you have to be an extraordinarily honest and open person.
4. Learn how to produce more patience.
LDR requires a lot of waiting. Without patience, your long distance relationship will not work and last. But how can you be patient? You cannot just magically become a patient person in an instant or overnight. Patience is not claimed or wished for. You have to produce it!
Patience is produced when you practice faithfulness during the hard times. Your patience grows when you remain faithful to your partner even when you fight or have misunderstandings. Your patience increases when you continue to believe in them even when you are struggling. You become more patient when you choose to be happy by realizing that everything that’s happening in your relationship is just a trial that you can overcome soon.
5. Make plans and efforts to see each other.
Distance makes every relationship sick. And in order to heal it regularly, you and your partner have to see each other twice or more often every year. Whether your significant other is in another country or in a distant province within your country, you should make efforts and make it a reality to be with her or him.
Nowadays, airline fares are not already too expensive. Airline companies are even offering promos and big discounts to provide the cheapest fares. So if you really want to survive a long distance relationship, you would do your best to break the distance periodically to keep your relationship healthy over and over again.
6. Be more spiritual.
You cannot be both spiritual and material. You have to choose what to satisfy – your flesh or your spirit? If you’re not a spiritual person, you will easily fall into temptations. You will be weak to resist the desires of your flesh, such as unrighteous sex and money. When this happens, you will likely commit infidelity and dishonesty. And your long distance relationship will surely be destroyed.
Moreover, distance, itself, is physical. If you only live by what you see or touch, you cannot survive LDR since your long distance partner will not always be with you physically or materially. And since you will always need to feed your physical desire, your LDR will not survive.
Therefore, if you are praying to have a successful long distance relationship, strengthen your spirituality. Focus on the things that last forever like true love, not on things that are temporary like money, sexuality and other material things. If you believe in God, let God who is love and eternal be the center of your long distance relationship.
7. Get married and finally break the distance.
You cannot be in a long distance relationship forever. You and your partner can only be completely happy when you are finally together. Hence, the both of you should make a realistic goal to achieve togetherness. To survive or actually succeed a long distance relationship is to finally break the distance.
Couples cannot survive in a long distance relationship and be finally be happy if they don’t have the intention to get married or spend the rest of their lives together in the end. Thus, if the two of you are not yet married, then work it out to finally tie the knot. If you’re the man, and you have not proposed to her yet, then start moving to the next level and ask her to be your wife.
When your relationship has a sense of direction and a realistic destination, it will last regardless of the distance.
Long distance can make a relationship sick. However, what eventually kills a long distance relationship is not the distance, but the negative reactions that couples make towards the distance. In other words, your reactions determine the fate of your LDR. If you react with fear, insecurity, mistrust, and hatred, then your relationship might just die. On the other hand, if you react with confidence, trust, love, and understanding, then your relationship, will live and survive.
Since LDR is not your ordinary kind of relationship, you need to have extraordinary qualities, such as extraordinary patience, faithfulness, loyalty and love to survive. Furthermore, since distance is a physical thing, you have to be metaphysical or spiritual to surpass it. Finally, to really survive long distance relationship, you have to break the distance and be together with your partner at last. This is because only with togetherness that your love and relationship will experience complete joy.