It’s normal to hear a woman saying she doesn’t trust a man in general. Trust is not easy and it does not come naturally. It is earned not just after a single action but a series of actions. It also takes more than just being a good and honest person. Girls are notorious over-thinkers, so it is really tough to please them to trust guys. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Sometimes, or should I say most of the time, their instincts about something is always right. That is why, once you break the bridge, you will never have a chance to cross to her life ever again.
Most women are having a hard time trusting men because of various reasons. After a heartbreak, they became cynical about love and thought as if it is something worthless. They came to think that love is like gravity, which causes things to drop erratically that the more you toss it away, the more it falls. And despite the pleasure it gives, it is a canister filled with blissful and excruciating memories stuck in a place where nobody wants to dredge up those throbbing past.
Easy as it may sound but it is not that quick to gain a woman’s trust. It takes consistency in honesty and sincerity. Thus, throughout this article, allow me to share some ideas about why girls don’t easily trust boys.
1. Because of past experiences
We all have a past – it is what makes up who we are now. However, there are some instances when after an intense heartbreak you become afraid to love again. You totally freaked out at the possibility of being left again. You have a hard time trusting men because you still think that, probably, your ex cheated with other women. Your stories of trauma and pain are part of life. To those who have been seriously hurt, it is possible to be so damaged emotionally that is why they’re in doubt to trust again.
2. Because of what we hear from our guy friends
Having a male friend is one of life’s simplest pleasures because you get to talk and hang out with people without drama and bitching but just plain honesty. Another perk of having them is it allows you to obtain a guy’s perspective when you need advice. However, the more you spend time around them, the more you realize those things why men would intentionally hurt women.
3. Because of what they did to our girlfriends
I have witnessed my friend’s heartbreak, not just once, twice, but a hundred times. I can’t help but just comfort them whenever they’re in the midst of heartache. I’ve watched them cried over and over again for a stupid man who hurt them so bad. I’ve seen a woman shamelessly throw herself at a taken man. There are times when I just want to slap them to be awakened from what’s keeping them foolish in love. I may not have experienced it but based on their experiences, it just made me feel scared of trusting men. Can’t help but think and wonder if there are still trustworthy men living on this earth.
4. Because guys are generally a flirty type
Well, based on my observation most men are flirty type and dishonest in different ways. I often receive chat and texts from random guys so I know how they flirt. You can’t keep flirting around and expect a woman to trust you. Even if you don’t get caught, if you are dishonest then you definitely won’t make a woman trust you.
5. Because most boys are just sweet in words but not by action
Words are just words. It would just easily vanish into thin air. However, actions will tell you everything you need to know. Trust is earned when actions meet words. I have to admit that in this generation, most of men are just sweet in words especially if they are still on the dating or courtship stage. First would always be superb but endings would often be heart-rending. This has been the cycle of love in many stories. Thus, how would a woman trust a man if their words didn’t even match with their actions?
6. Because we can’t see the sincerity in their eyes
The most sincere feelings are the hardest to be expressed by words. You need to put some effort in showing it. It is not about how well you say those three words and eight letters or how often you say them. But rather, how sincere and true are you with what you are saying.
7. Because many men are womanizer – it’s their nature
It’s like we can’t do anything about their naughtiness because it is a man’s nature. Even if they just see sexy women walking along the road, it is quite natural that most of them would pay attention to the face and body. This is why women are having a hard time trusting men.
8. Because most of them, if not all, are fond of watching adult videos
Men cannot deny the fact that they spend a lot of time visiting adult sites and watching adult movies. They probably have a lot of fantasies, and that’s why we cannot trust them to only think of one woman all the time.
9. Because they tend to take our love, respect, and affection for granted
In this generation, it is no longer possible to ignore a woman’s love, respect, and affection for so long. If men get into a habit of turning her off and doing things that make her lose respect, they can hardly expect a woman’s trust and stay with them forever.
10. Because most of them think that men should be superior to women
Degrading or belittling a woman makes her lose respect for a man. A lot of guys think that they are stronger and more capable than women. They tend to undervalue the skills and abilities of a woman. When men doubt what women can do, then how can we also eradicate the doubts we have in them? As you know – trust is a mutual feeling.
Trust is built and maintained by many small actions over time. It is built with consistency. However, learning to trust is such a difficult task to do, yet it is the most precious thing in this world. It can take years to earn it but only a matter of seconds to lose it. Thus, it is important to keep trust at the forefront of everything you do.
If she is angry give her so space and time to calm down .if you think she has found a guy just ask her .if she says yes ask her where did I go wrong .if you love her sincerely with all your heart and she still thinks you do not love her .let her go . you should be happy for her instead of feeling bad for yourself or hating her .after all life gave you a new experience in life and also she might not be right for you .
Hi,
To be honest I fell into a trap at a young age (around 12 years) to pornography and it has been getting worse ever since until I had ENOUGH of this…. I realized this wasn’t good and I prayed to God to heal me from this shit of a pit I had fallen or else take away my life this instant. I am now healing and reflecting, its the internet that is making Men that way, or should I say giving them a completely wrong perception of women.. Yes.. those pop up ads involving nudity even when watching Netflix or an inappropriate Ad on the TV, combined with the absent presence of a Parent (Either Father or Mother which is the case prevalent in 90% of such Men) leads to a wrong projection of Women and its only going to keep getting worse as some adult websites can be found right next to Cartoon videos. I found one when my little Cousin Brother of 5 years was watching cartoons and would you believe it..right next to Dora the Explorer was an explicit video… Its disgusting isn’t it? I am now healing and I feel like a Warrior after beating this battle finally @ 22 years old.. This has taught me to be vigilant of Media and what perception of women they try to market to men as well as to teach my Children and bring awareness to the future generations of the disaster that lies in the form of the internet.
There are good men and good women. There are bad men and bad women.. I believe you to pray to God for the right man or woman and he will bring the correct person.. I am right now practicing a ‘No shits Policy’ of not looking at other girls especially when I am in a relationship.
Be aware and always see to character, not merely beauty and you’ll be alright.
My girl has being saying off late that she is not of herself and because of that she used to get angry with me all the time when talking with her, does it mean she is cheating or has found a new person or not in love again with me and moreover what should I do now because am confused. Please help me out
Ah, the joy of being gay and not have to mess with this crap.
I dont know why but male friends can be trustworthy sometimes but they are not .Its really hard to get trustworthy men these days
You are right.
Even if you make a line, never show interest, when you start talking to them, they take it as wrong way .
And then next everyone aware….
Friendship ends
Things become hard and you get hurt 💔
my girlfriend siarah harvey relates to much of this post she is a very scary woman and i love her tho because shes reading this as i write it hehe
For me it’s bc of my stepdad that i absolutely do not like.
I don’t have trouble trusting a guy as a boyfriend but I don’t really trust men as friends at all especially men that are in a serious relationship I don’t trust them at all not as a friend I’ve had to end the friendship with many guys because I don’t trust them as friends if I’m friends with a guy his girlfriend is going to get uncomfortable and become my number one enemy because of my past she might even feel my wrath a few times yes my past has changed me you could say it made me mean a little bit
Congratulations ! You have successfully pointed out every fear based reason why women control men and don’t trust! Ultimately, Fear is Destructive. Check your passive aggression at the door. Fear and Love can’t walk together.
Thank you so much this has helped me so much
After been a wife that even with my defects, I did always my best as a wife and a friend to my husband, he decided to pay attention to someone else and cheated. That’s when fear started, not before. Fear of knowing that no matter how much I effort, nothing I can do to prevent such behavior and consequential pain. That other people free will can harm innocent people.
Wait if you love her. Or leave her coz she does not think like you. She is different.T his type of people cannot live with one. Maybe they have insecurities so they want to be in a group or with many friends. These type of people have different thinking. And you. Do what you want in life.Sing.Eat.Dance.Buy good clothes. Pass your time on your own do not expect that she will pass your time ..Then she will reply I sure then talk to her. Humans take lots of time to learn how to live with less things and with less number of people around them. So maybe she is that who do not get opportunities to learn this. And when she will realize this will be too late. Or I don’t know will happen.👍👍
my bf wants to gift a ring to his female frnd on her frnd. i told him to gift any thing else but he was like “no” what should i do??
I think it should not be acceptable.
There is only one reason: MEN LIE. All the time. About everything. lol. I do not know why – included in the genetic Y or the testosterone hormone – but they lie. A good one will only slightly exaggerate things… the bad ones, of course, are living double, triple, quadruple lives. I have friends that somehow think their man only lies about where he is (and it drives them nuts) – some that think he only lies about money (and it drives those ladies nuts) – but as for the “overthinking” part… I think a lot of chicks just really don’t think that habitual lying is actually limited to just one thing. No one can trust a liar. No one should really.
Some women are liars as well. Most men wouldn’t give them the time of day. It’s not overthinking to question lies.
Humans lie all the time, it isn`t more apperant in Men then Women
it`s simply human nature
So biased….
We as humans lie sometimes.
Great article. Sad but true. Just have to accept it and keep my head up. I have a boyfriend and have worried that he may be this way but so far I think he’s a great guy. I’m lucky not to have to date anymore and feel bad for other good women who go through all this nonsense. But if it ends up not working out with my bf, I’m going to work on improving and healing myself for a good long time before I even think to put my heart out on the chopping block again.
Why not improve now?
My girlfriend always visit her male friend everyday, everytime… I have told her to stop the regular visit but she refuse. What should i do?
Get a new girlfriend.
Just care for her more try to make yourself prove her that no man is more trustworthy then u make her feel ur presence
do the same.make her jealous.
How do I do that
George talk to other women.
“If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another women she`ll be all ears”-Sigmund Frued
Try to advise her until she listened to ur words
you have successfully named all the reason why i don’t trust dudes and why i have i been single the 17 years i have been on this planet.
Congrats, be alone forever. These are all the misguided reasons why women don’t trust men when in reality these things are all done by women. The male suicide rate is so high because men are considered expendable while women are precious beings of creation. If you don’t trust men, good, you’ll only break a man to pieces because of your bias, lack of self-awareness, and ego.
Your name says all. If u are a boy and think like that no woman will stay with you
Hmmmmm that not true not all guys are like that