Breakups are one of the most painful transitions that we face in our lives. The pain of losing that person you’ve loved and still love – someone you’ve shared your dreams, your life, and most especially, your love – can be heart-shattering.
While some breakups can be easy to get over with, there will always be that one person – no matter what you do, you can’t seem to let go.
The question here is, why can’t you move on? Maybe these are the reasons.
1. He/she was your first love.
Moving on from a breakup is hard, especially when it’s your first time to love someone. The pain of losing someone is new to you that’s why it’s too hard to move on.
2. You haven’t given yourself enough time to grieve.
In a society where pretending to be happy and not paying attention to other people’s struggles are customary, the thought that “you should be over with him/her already” even if you only broke up a few months ago, is easy to internalize.
Time heals all wounds, there is no timeline on grief. You don’t need to hide the pain, let it all out. Writing unsent letters to your ex, crying, talking to your family or the closest friend are the things you can do to let yourself grieve. When grieving is cut short, it’s stuck in your body making you feel sadder and hindering yourself to be happy and positive.
ALSO READ: How to Move On After a Relationship Ends: 15 Ways to Freshen Up
3. You keep stalking him.
Checking his/her social media accounts won’t help you get over him/her. You will only end up feeling a bit jealous when you see that he/she has already found someone new. Restricting yourself from stalking him/her can be a big help in your process of moving on.
4. You haven’t had closure.
Having closure means that you both accepted the fact that it has ended and you both decided to separate. But when your relationship ended without closure, it would really be hard for you to get over that person. The closure means finality, and it is essential when a relationship has ended.
ALSO READ: 14 Ways to Move On from a Relationship Without Closure
5. You have low self-esteem.
One of the thoughts we always fear is “not finding the right person for us.” We get scared of getting back out there, thinking that in the end you will never be good enough and they will all leave you alone. Or maybe we get too comfortable with the familiar so we stay there and it just gets harder to let that person go.
6. You have all these “what ifs” in your mind.
“What if he comes back?” “What if he still loves me?” – Those are the questions you keep repeating on your mind even when it’s been years since you broke up. If he hasn’t done anything to make it up to you, then it’s time to stop reminiscing all those memories and asking those questions because you’re the only one who’s going to end up hurt and broken-hearted. Stop torturing yourself, you deserve more than those memories.
7. You feel guilty or you blame yourself.
Breakups are an opportunity for you to learn more about yourself, where you can also improve and grow. Sadly, because most people have a hard time tolerating emotional pain, ego steps in and it result in a scenario about “why the breakup occurred”, either blaming everything on yourself or your partner.
While this blame-game separates you from feeling pained and broken-hearted, it does not help you grieve and improve into a better version of yourself.
8. You were in a long-term relationship.
Losing someone with whom you’ve been in a relationship for a very long time is hard to deal with. You have become accustomed to the feeling that he/she was always there for you through ups and downs and you’ve forgotten the feeling of being single and alone.
ALSO READ: How to Move On After the End of a Long-Term Relationship
9. You’re still waiting.
Waiting is not bad of course, especially when you still have feelings for this person. But if it’s going on for years and still nothing has happened, that means you need to stop waiting for that person. You keep on missing open doors or opportunities that can help you improve yourself.
ALSO READ: 14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back
10. You thought he/she was the one.
Finding the right person for you is the greatest feeling in the world. And entering into a relationship means that you are not just wasting your time but you see a future with that person and of course, you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her. But when it leads to a breakup, it can be devastating and hard to move on with.
When one door closes, another one opens. This can be the same too for relationships, we should keep moving forward. There are so many things in life this world has to offer.
ALSO READ: 9 Ways to Live Your Life to the Fullest While Being Single
As the saying goes, good things come for those who wait. For now, focus on getting better and being the better version of yourself.
The right person will come, in God’s perfect time.
ALSO READ:
- 14 Signs Your Ex Still Loves You and Wants You Back
- 14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back
- 16 Ways to Move On When You Still Love Your Ex
- 14 Ways to Stay Friends with Your Ex After a Breakup
- 10 Inspirational Tips to Heal a Broken Heart
- How to Move On After a Relationship Ends: 15 Ways to Freshen Up
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
© Photo by Marydel Mitch Flores, InspiringTips.com
I dated my ex girlfriend for about 4yrs. We decided to spend our life time together until she got job at different place and move. She later started not giving me attention until I found out that she’s cheating. She called for a break up and it’s still hurting me so much.
I told her am prepared to forgive her but she will not listen. The person she cheated with is abusing her but she’s still tell she’s fallen for him.
Am so much in pain…what can I do to get her back or move on quickly. I can’t sleep, so many things going on in my mind.
Anyone can help me?
Hi, I’m sorry of what had happened. The same thing happened to me. We were in a long distance relationship because he had to move from another place due to his job and 3 weeks later he seemed so distant to me and later on I just found he had been cheating on me with his colleague. I was so devastated and got depressed for whole 2 years.
I think she still loves you but internally she is filled with the guilt of cheating you,she wants to believe that she made the right choice even if its not she would rather be there than back to you,maybe some therapy for both of you..to fully accept and forgive each other
I think imma wait on my ex. We broke up August 31st and recently I tried to be loving but she got mad at me and said stop or she will block me. Her family told me don’t communicate with her and see what she does. She’s my first love and we dated 2 years. I planned to marry her and college is not making it better for both of us. Also we’re both saved and have a relationship with God. I’m feeling like she’s till grieving from her mother’s passing this year. I continue to pray and keep my faith though. I struggle with a lot but I’m still grateful and nice.
Hey friend, me and my bf dated for 2 years and we were planning to spend the rest of our lives together, but unfortunately it became toxic and things got ended. It’s 2021 now and I don’t know you guys are still together or not but everything happens for a reason and God has already selected soulmates for us and the right one will find you friend. Don’t worry. More love and strength ❤️