12 Things Single Ladies Should Stop Doing Immediately

Single lady stop doing
Photo by Brooke Cagle

Hey, there single ladies!

Do you often find yourself moping for not being in a relationship? Or has the idea of being romantically attached to someone been bugging you more often than usual? If your answer to either–or both questions is yes, then guess what: we feel you. Sure, being in a romantic relationship is all the hype these days, and in a way, it puts pressure on those who are currently unattached. You’d want to have someone to hold hands with while strolling in the park, a shoulder to cry on, someone to exchange sweet nothings with, and someone to kiss goodnight.

But while this is an ideal situation for many, we often forget that there’s nothing wrong with being single. Being unattached to a romantic partner offers a lot of opportunities, and rather than wishing for one, you’d opt to celebrate instead, as you are free to explore life and limits, with only your rules and your choices to follow.

There are some things, however that you should stop doing to yourself while you’re single. These are:

1. Being afraid to be single forever.
Girl, you don’t know what the future has in store for you, so stop jumping to conclusions. Maybe you just haven’t found your life partner yet, and who knows, in God’s perfect timing, you’ll find yourself finally settling down.

ALSO READ: 7 Feel-Good Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Being Single Forever

2. Thinking that being single is not normal.
There are times when your parents start asking why you are still single at your age, and that it is best that you start looking for a partner because you’re not getting any younger. Sure, they mean well, but it doesn’t mean you have to give in. Being single is normal, no matter how old or young you are. A lot of people are single and don’t make a big deal of it, and perhaps you should just do the same too.

Keep in mind that as a single girl, you have all the freedom and power to make or break your life. All you have to do is embrace it.

3. Rushing to find a boyfriend for the sake of being in a relationship.
Relationships require love, trust, friendship, and commitment. It’s not just a trend that you have to be part of. So, rather than finding a boyfriend to merely show that you’re already taken, why not nurture friendships instead? Go out and meet new people, and at the same time enjoy the company of those you are close friends with.

4. Feeling bad when people ask why you are still single.
There’s no reason to feel bad whenever people ask why you are single, especially when they started the conversation by highlighting your best traits, like this one: “Ah you’re smart and pretty and kind, so why are you single?”

You might not have chosen to be single at the moment, but there’s no need to pine over that. Rather, you may want to look at all the positive things being single has done to you. And yes, enjoy every moment of it because you’ll definitely miss being with yourself once you are in a relationship!

5. Thinking that you are ugly and nobody wants you.
True love is not superficial, and true love definitely knows how to wait. So yes, there’s no point in thinking that you are single because you are ugly and unwanted. This kind of thinking only reflects on your overall character and personality, and would definitely attract negative vibes.

And yes, this kind of thinking is what makes one ugly and unloved.

6. Waiting for the perfect boyfriend or soulmate.
Girl, there’s no such thing as the perfect boyfriend. It doesn’t exist, nor does a perfect relationship. Soulmates also don’t take in the form of romantic partners so you can find them in your closest friends.

If you are looking forward to being in a relationship that’s happy and healthy, then it would be better for you to prepare for it by loving yourself first.

ALSO READ: 5 Reasons Why You Should Not Wait for Your Soulmate

7. Falling in love with a married man.
Falling in love with a married man is always a major no-no. Doing so only means that you are becoming desperate to the point that you are willing to destroy a relationship that doesn’t concern you in the first place. Sure, there are instances when you find yourself pursued by a guy who happens to be married, and while he showers you with all the lovely things in the world, do you think it’s worth taking the risk of falling for him knowing that he already belongs to someone else?

Falling for a married man may also lead you to ruin a family. His kids would be the most affected when you do so.

8. Taking advantage of your freedom by dating a lot of men.
There’s this saying, “collect and collect, then select.” Yes, we understand that you are single and free, and technically you can do anything you want, including going out on dates with different men.

Dating a lot of men at the same time may look like you’re not serious about relationships. It may also entail that you’re just dating to find someone that provides you with the most comfort, and that’s not what men look for in a potential girlfriend. Girl, have you ever thought why most relationships formed in “The Bachelorette” went kaput?

9. Feeling bitter and envious of people who are happy in a relationship.
They’re going to break up soon. There’s no forever. They’re not meant for each other. These are the most common remarks that we hear from single people whenever they see couples or people who are happy in their respective relationships. These are indicators of bitterness, and yes, you may have said these too at some point. It’s normal, don’t worry. But you’d rather not wallow on the bitterness because it consumes you.

Being bitter only makes it harder for you to accept the reality that you’re in, so it’s best that you let that feeling go. You may be single and unattached today, but who cares? You may want to start making good memories with yourself instead, as this is the first step for you to understand what real love means.

ALSO READ: 8 Effective Ways to Overcome Bitterness and Resentment

10. Having an imaginary partner and pretending that you’re not single.
It’s all right to imagine how it is like to be in a relationship or the kind of relationship that you want to be in, but not to the point that you create an imaginary boyfriend. Apart from being creepy, you’ll only be fooling yourself because you know that at the end of the day, you are still single.

Piece of advice: just chill and relax. When you’re meant to be in a relationship, you’ll be in one soon, with a person who is real and not a figment of your imagination.

11. Blaming yourself for not getting someone for a relationship.
Do you sometimes feel regret for not saying yes to a suitor, or for passing off the opportunity to be in a relationship? Well, you may want to think about how it is like to be in a relationship with a person you don’t love?

There’s no point in blaming yourself for making seemingly wrong choices that have led you to be currently single. Maybe it’s just not the right time yet.

12. Forgetting to love yourself.
Being single is beautiful because it provides you with a vast opportunity to make the most out of yourself. This is also the time when you learn how to take care and value yourself more without relying on other people. So yes, you better take this chance while it lasts, as once you learn to care for yourself and value your worth, this will radiate from the inside out.

Singlehood doesn’t mean being lost, sad, and lonely. There is no need to get pressured and make a big decision in a hurry. Instead, it is a great opportunity to discover yourself deeper, higher, and further. You don’t need to wait for a special someone to make yourself a better person. You were born to be a smart and beautiful creature, and even if you’re single, you can be the best person you can be.

ALSO READ: 9 Ways to Live Your Life to the Fullest While Being Single

Fae Marie Esperas
When not on the road, Fae Marie Esperas writes about life's adventures as she sees them. She likes her coffee with mint, and owns a cat named Ramon.

1 thought on “12 Things Single Ladies Should Stop Doing Immediately”

  1. Thank you for sharing this with me, I recently got out of a relationship and I’m learning to be single again.
    Its good to hear these positive encouragements that praise singleness than degrade it.
    God bless.


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