12 Things That Will Destroy Your Relationship and How to Avoid Them

couple sitting on a bench

There are many reasons why couples break up and most of these can be prevented if only both parties have the willingness to see and understand the things that are really causing the problems in the first place. Some signs can be obvious, directly and instantly launching their attacks but others come in the form of small bits of negativities that can accumulate over time until it can gather enough strength to break even the strongest of bonds.

If you don’t want this to happen to you or anyone you care about, this article will help you point out some of the many things and habits that will destroy your relationship. More importantly, we’ll provide you with some realistic tips and long-term solutions on how to avoid and finally overcome them.

First of all, a relationship can be vulnerable to break up when:

1. Your unending insecurities
Being insecure in a relationship can lead to the worst outcomes especially if you don’t do your part to overcome it. When you entertain that feeling of not being good enough either as a lover or a partner, you also open your doors to other unhealthy possibilities that could lead to a devastating breakup. So what should you do? Build your confidence and have a little faith in yourself.

ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship

2. Your overflowing jealousy
If you often feel the sting of jealousy, it’s time to take a step back and think about how it can negatively affect and change your bond as a couple. In most instances, the root of this negative emotion often comes from groundless accusations or imagined scenarios, leading to more serious problems in the relationship.

Remember this: before creating stories in your head, why don’t you confront and talk to your significant other first?

3. Your envy and bitterness
Envy is a deadly venom that can suck the happiness out of you, and in a relationship, it can affect how you view yourself as a partner. Being envious means having the strong urge to possess something that you never had – and that obsessive feeling of being frustrated because you can’t have them at the moment can often bring out the worst in you. Because of this, satisfaction and contentment can be very elusive.

ALSO READ: 11 Inspiring Ways to Overcome Envy

4. Your excessive possessiveness 
You’ve probably heard a lot about what an overly-attached girlfriend (or boyfriend) is and maybe you’ve told yourself that you’ll never be one. Well, sometimes people don’t notice that they are already being so possessive and overly protective that their “genuine love” turns into a suffocating birdcage. Give each other space, give each other enough freedom to fly.

5. Your lack of love for yourself
Don’t let your world revolve around your relationship. You have to live a life outside of your romantic connection or run the risk of losing yourself in the process. It’s not real love when you give every part of yourself to someone. A healthy, genuine expression of love is only possible if you love yourself first if you use yourself as a sturdy anchor so you won’t go astray.

6. Your lack of confidence and independence
It’s good to seek relationship advice from people you trust but what’s not okay is if you allow them to tell you what to do especially when it comes to matters involving your significant other. You’re the one in the relationship and you know very well what it needs. Ask for help but the last step should be taken by you and you alone.

7. Your dishonesty
You should have the ability and courage to express how you really feel. Is your partner doing something that is hurting you but you’re too scared to say it because it could trigger a fight? Is your significant other too reluctant to tell you how he feels because it’s not “manly” to do so? Don’t hesitate to open your heart and tell each other what’s wrong. Communication is the key, remember?

8. Your lack of interest in your partner’s future plans
What do you talk about whenever you’re alone together? Do your conversations include future plans? Do you show enough enthusiasm whenever your partner shares his dreams? Does your boyfriend think that you should pursue your goals even if others think it’s too ambitious? The answer to these questions will determine if someone really wants the best for you, now and forever.

9. Your selfishness and pride
You’re fighting and you were hurt big time. What do you do? Wait a few hours to calm yourselves down and finally talk about it? Or do you engage in a silent war and wait until someone gives up? Choosing your emotions and selfishly protecting your pride just to prove that you’re right can be damaging to your relationship.

10. Your inability to give enough time, attention, and effort
Are you doing your part as a partner and as a friend? In order for relationships to work, both parties should give enough of their time and effort – and when we say “enough”, it means not too little, not too much. Know what you both need and how much you can offer without compromising your own needs.

11. Your inability to recognize the real problems
It’s not good to just forget about what caused an argument or what started a fight. You have to talk about it. Create an “honesty zone” and just let it all out. Letting these things go without even knowing how and why they sparked a disagreement will just pile up and it will just be a matter of time before one of you explodes.

12. Your lack of understanding
You don’t have to be a psychic to figure out what your partner is trying to express, vice versa. Just by observing familiar gestures and the specific choice of words, you can already tell what’s really going on. Sometimes, problems in a relationship arise because couples tend to be oblivious of what’s really happening – until it’s already too late.

The truth is, you don’t have to be the most perfect person for the one you love but you have to know what you should and shouldn’t do if you want to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship. These adjectives may be too idealistic but they’re possible, as long as you do your part not only as a lover but as a life companion.

We are only given one or two chances to find happiness with someone special so let’s not waste it.

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Photo by Charlie Foster

Charm Villalon
Charm is a writer and a student. She is currently completing her Graduate Degree in Language Studies while refining her creativity and related skills through the visual arts: drawing and painting.

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