To find a true lover who can give you real love, you have to know what true love is. To attract and keep him/her, you have to give a genuine love in return. Knowing how to distinguish pure love from false love will give you wisdom on building a long-lasting relationship and avoiding the toxic ones. Such insight will also keep you away from futile suffering due to loving the wrong person. Moreover, it will prevent you from hurting people and being guilty of not giving the right love.
20 Differences Between True Love and Fake Love
Here are 20 differences between true love and fake love that you must know.
1. True love makes sacrifices; fake love is only a concern of itself.
True love is selfless. Though it doesn’t neglect itself, it is ready to make big sacrifices just to make someone truly happy. On the other hand, fake love is selfish, as it only cares for itself.
2. True love rejoices in the truth; fake love hides in the darkness of lies.
True love enjoys living an honest life. It cannot be comfortable with lies. It takes away your doubts and insecurities, as it always shows honesty and transparency. On the other hand, fake love takes pleasure in making lies. It is afraid to get near the light. It lives in the darkness and offers no enlightenment.
3. True love is kind; fake love is cruel.
True love has a big heart. It’s generous and compassionate. It will give you love and care more than what you deserve. On the other hand, fake love is heartless. It will give you pain and bad treatment you don’t even deserve.
4. True love is patient; fake love is short-tempered.
True love can endure and forgive your faults and shortcomings. It will reasonably give you many chances and wait until you change for the better. On the other hand, fake love is easily angered when you make mistakes. It will quickly judge and punish you without even hearing your explanations.
5. True love is humble; fake love is proud.
True love acts with humility. It’s not interested in taking credits for itself. It admits its own mistakes and even takes responsibility for the faults of others. It can let itself down to lift people up. On the other hand, fake love is boastful. It’s a credit grabber and excessively proud of itself. It doesn’t admit its own mistakes but rather blames them on others.
6. True love feels fulfilled; fake love feels empty.
True love feels complete. It feels like it already has nothing to wish for. It always enjoys every moment with you as it considers its dreams as new realities. On the other hand, fake love is not happy with you. It’s greedy and unsatisfied. It always wants to have something more, something different.
7. True love is grateful; fake love is envious.
True love values its current possessions. It feels thankful and blessed to have you. It treasures what it receives from you, whether they are big or small. On the other hand, fake love is filled with envy. It belittles your presence. It doesn’t treasure your gifts. It always feels unlucky with you, and it is always jealous of people whom it thinks have more possessions than it has.
8. True love is joyful; fake love is bitter.
True love has a cheerful heart. Its mind is filled with positivity. It feels happy to see others happy. On the other hand, fake love has a heart filled with bitterness. Its mind is filled with negativity. It always thinks that the world is unfair. It usually holds a grudge against you and the people around you.
9. True love is respectful; fake love is rude.
True love will respect your opinions, decisions, and even your ambitions. It will also honor you as a person. On the other hand, fake love is arrogant. It doesn’t care about what you think and what you feel. It considers you as an inferior person who’s not worthy of any consideration.
10. True love protects; fake love hurts.
True love may give you pain, but it always protects you from anything that will make you suffer in the long run. It will defend you from things that will corrupt you. It will shield your relationship against things that will hinder its growth. On the other hand, fake love will give you false satisfaction, which only lasts for a short time. Eventually, it will give you a toxic relationship and destroy you as a person.
11. True love is righteous; fake love is foolish.
True love is wise and mature. It is discreet in making decisions and actions. On the other hand, fake love is a fool. It is childish and narrow-minded. Its actions are reckless, inconsiderate, and only based on its self-righteousness.
12. True love knows and understands you; fake love just doesn’t get it.
True love knows you as a person. It makes efforts to know everything about you so it can love you even better. It understands you even before you say any word, as it can read your mind and feel your emotions. On the other hand, fake love doesn’t care about your thoughts and feelings. Thus, it doesn’t have any idea what’s going on with you.
13. True love trusts; fake love doubts too much.
True love has confidence in you. It trusts your decisions and actions. It is positive for you. On the other hand, fake love doesn’t trust you. Its heart and mind are exceedingly filled with negativities about you.
14. True love is loyal; fake love is a cheater.
True love has a strong commitment to you. It will avoid temptations and will never try to cheat on you. On the other hand, fake love is always and will always be a cheater.
15. True love is faithful; fake love is unbelieving.
True love depends and believes in you despite your weaknesses and shortcomings. On the other hand, fake love needs to have 100% assurance that you are dependable before relying on or believes in you.
16. True love is hopeful; fake love easily gives up.
True love includes you in its future and sees you as a person it wants to be with for the rest of its life. That is why it never gives up fighting for you and your relationship. On the other hand, fake love has no permanent plans for you. Thus, it doesn’t treat you as important, and it easily gives up on you.
17. True love acts with trembling; fake love just doesn’t care.
True love is not just all talk and promises. It’s not even all about mere actions. True love acts with passion, excitement, and energy. It always wants the best for you. It is afraid to let you down. On the other hand, fake love is nonchalant towards you. It always leaves you with excuses instead of fulfilling its obligations to you.
18. True love loves itself; fake love hates itself.
True love loves you, but it never forgets to love itself. It always wants to be healthy in mind, body, and soul to give you a healthier and stronger relationship. On the other hand, fake love doesn’t care about its own welfare. It selfishly hurts itself to the point of self-destruction, giving you more pain and problems your relationship doesn’t deserve.
19. True love grows a relationship; fake love makes it sick and toxic.
True love always seeks personal development and growth for your relationship. It serves as a role model. It always inspires and motivates you to be a better person. On the other hand, fake love loves fighting and heated arguments. It doesn’t know how to settle things calmly. It toxifies your relationship and destroys your good life.
20. True love lasts forever; fake love dies.
True love stays forever. It’s more than physical and material. It lives on even lovers are already apart or even after they die. The great story of true love and the true lovers’ big sacrifices continue to inspire people, generation by generation. On the other hand, fake love is only after the flesh. It lives shortly, and its story is easily forgotten.
15 Signs of Fake Love
1. Mood swings
2. He only shows up when you’re needed
3. You do things according to his time
4. No deep conversations
5. Not interested in your life
6. He’s hiding you
7. He doesn’t want you to ask questions about him
8. He doesn’t want you to meet his friends
9. He plays with your feelings and emotions
10. Empty promises
11. He pressures you into bed
12. He treats other girls badly
13. He makes you feel insecure about yourself
14. He does not care about you at all
15. You feel it in your gut
Please visit signs he’s just playing you for the details.
How to Identify True Love?
What is the point of committing to a relationship if there is no assurance that what you and your partner feel for each other is real love? A relationship that is only founded on attraction, convenience, or lust may not last a long time. It may even cause you more headaches than inspiration.
To help you on how to identify true love in your relationship, here are 12 clues you should watch out for:
1. Attraction: Beyond the physical
Have you ever asked yourself why you like your partner? If your honest answer is his/her being good-looking, then it is probably not true love yet. It could be mere infatuation or the pride of being with a head-turner.
Genuine love is not based on physical appearance. You love a person regardless of how s/he looks like because it is not about what your eyes see. It is about what your heart sees. What matters more is how the person means to you.
ALSO READ: Love vs. Infatuation: 12 Differences You Must Know
2. Priority: The other person always goes first
True love is selfless. You know it is pure love when you think first of his/her needs before yours. For you, it is alright if you get hungry as long as your partner gets full. You set your wants aside to consider what makes him/her happy.
If you and your partner always consider each other first, then your relationship could last a lifetime. You would be happy serving each other, and being together would be a blessing instead of a burden.
3. Duration: It lasts a lifetime
If your relationship lasts till death do you part, then that is when you could confirm that what you have is true love. That means the two of you have decided to stay by each other’s side despite differences, temptations and flaws.
Imagine spending decades with one person. Only true love can keep the affection for a very long time despite aging looks and irksome attitudes. If you do not love the person, you would not even picture out being with him/her for the rest of your life.
4. Qualification: None
Real love does not require eligibility nor requirements. It simply accepts the person as who s/he is. You love a person not because s/he is a university graduate, but simply because you want to be with him/her no matter what.
It is okay to push your partner to achieve something or aim for higher goals. However, just make sure that your motive is not selfish—like impressing your friends.
5. Distance: It survives
True love can survive a long-distance relationship. It is because love is not determined by the physical presence of the other person. It goes beyond touch and being able to do things together.
Moreover, the reason why true love can survive long-distance is that it knows how to wait. It is patient and always hopeful of the future. This kind of love is also characterized by the strong trust for each other.
ALSO READ: 10 Inspiring Tips for a Successful Long Distance Relationship
6. Forgiveness: 77×7
Another remarkable trait of true love is that it is always willing to forgive. It gives numerous second chances. The love of the couple is greater than any flaw or mistake committed by each other. How the other person means to them is always more important than his/her failures.
This does not mean they are turning blind eye to their partner’s mistakes though. It is just that since they have accepted the other person as they are, they give allowance for instances of failures. They have patience and grace that keep them hoping for the best in the other person.
ALSO READ: 9 Tips on How to Forgive Someone Who Broke Your Heart
7. Background: It does not matter
Since pure love is unconditional, it does not require high profile background. Social status, educational background, culture, and other environmental factors are not a big deal.
This is connected to having neither required eligibilities nor qualifications. You accept your partner no matter where s/he comes from and what s/he has.
8. Patience: It is slow to anger
If you love a person deeply, it is hard to get angry with him/her, right? If s/he has done a mistake, it is normal you would feel hurt and disappointed. However, hate and anger are weaker emotions than your desire to forgive and be reconciled with the person.
I am not saying it is impossible to get mad at someone you love. However, compared to less important people in your life, your rage is always overcome by patience.
9. Personality: It finds ways to complement
Yes, it is better if you find a person whose temperament or personality complements yours. This will lead to a more harmonious relationship, and you get to support each other in your weaknesses.
However, you cannot control love, and sometimes you get to love someone whose personality does not match yours. If this happens, you do not decide to separate ways immediately. Instead, both of you willingly adjust to meet half ways. You sacrifice your own comfort to make the relationship work.
10. History: Does not keep a record of wrongs
One more thing about true love is that it does not keep grudges. After forgiving the other person for any mistake, you are willing to forget and let go of what happened. The next time you have a misunderstanding, you do not bring back the past issues anymore, because you have let go already.
Yes, it is not easy to forget the things that hurt you, but if you truly love your partner, you are willing to set aside your pain to keep your relationship from trust issues, grudges, or anything else that can weaken your relationship.
Just be reminded though that love is different from stupidity. If you know your partner is just fooling you, then s/he is not worth it. Love yourself first.
11. Foundation: Friendship
Not all true loves start with friendship, but all true loves are strengthened by friendship. Attraction and emotion will fade away, but a solid friendship can help you both maintain affection and respect for each other.
If your partner is your best friend, you can be more honest and open with him/her. Trust grows and loyalty becomes easier. You can also be true to yourself with him/her.
12. Commitment: Decision-based
True love is a decision, not a feeling. If your relationship is only based on attraction and emotion, it would be easy to drift away from it when these foundations fade someday. It is because your reasons for staying with the person are gone. However, if you have decided to commit yourself to a person no matter what happens, you exert more conscious effort to stay committed even when surrounded by trials and temptations.
Not everyone succeeds in keeping the relationship last, but the decision of commitment makes it harder for you to give up on your love. This is the reason why it is more difficult for married couples to separate than those who are not—because they have made vows—and they feel responsible to keep their part of the bond. They may fight and even separate for a time, but many get back together after a while.
On the other hand, most unmarried couples feel less liable in their relationship. I am not judging anybody, okay? I am just pointing out what I have observed among the couples surrounding me. Many of those who separated ways do not reconcile anymore, and finding a different partner is quicker for them. And I have also heard from some of them that the reason why they do not get married is that they are not sure if they want to stay together forever. So, once they get tired of each other, it is easier for them to burn bridges, since there is no hassle of divorce or annulment process.
Bottom line
True love may not be perfect, but it perseveres.
True love may not be a perfect kind of love. However, this is the love that is willing to endure harder. It is selfless and humble. It protects and lifts up. It perseveres to overcome flaws and failures. It fights to last.
I hope that this article has given you ideas on how to identify true love and distinguish it from fake ones. Feel free to share this article with your friends and loved ones.
Online courses recommended for you:
- How to Become a Good and Godly Husband:
how to love your wife in the ways she feels your love. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
this course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Books recommended for you:
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Photo by Ryan Holloway
Great write up Sir, God Bless U
Real true love happened back in the old days.
thanks alot
That’s an ‘Excellent Love Article’. I love it. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks this article helped a lot!
Wow,, what a wonderful avenue to the world of peace and true love. Thanks much sir!
True Love is also a type of religious act as you are fully dedicated to particular person and won’t also think of anyone else.
Sir Victorino
Thank you and may God bless you!!
I know this wisdom was not granted to you in a law school, university…
I feel that your wisdom has been a gift from the Almighty.
After I finished reading all the twenty statements, I became sad. At the same time, I was grateful because I acquired knowledge and some better understanding. Thank you so very much!
May the Lord continue to blessing you.
Amen🙏🏽
The articles is very correct, i like going to it over and over, the truth is that peoples of this world are too blind.
Excellent article!!!! Thank You 😊
It happen that I just met this guy not up to 5 month even thou we had a date twice and I was ask to come over to his house twice and the second time I went there we romance either other and he ask for sex ND I denied it even thou his brother was there.Does true love ask for sex that way,advice pls bcs I don’t want any guy to broke my heart again bcs I had a broke heart not once nor twice or thrice and shattered not have any guy pls
Yea that’s not true, sex is the only thing dude was after and if you were to get with him he’d cheat… sad truth…
As a young man I don’t understand the real meaning of true love. Its features and characteristics found in it. Though, having been through on the journey of love affairs with some beautiful girls in my communities, they did not seemed to posses those qualities of true love. Yes, of course some girls did posses those qualities but I preferred not to accept them because I though it was fake love.
Now that I come to learn the difference between true love and fake love put me in a better position to choose sides.
Thank you.
Thank you. Great article.
I’m here experiencing a true love who I thought it was fake 💛🌻
This is Great.. Would love to get this in SPANISH..
First of all you have to be a very very extremely lucky and blessed person to find real love these days since the women today unfortunately aren’t like the past at all when real love really did happened at that time back then, especially for the men that were very seriously looking for love since it was no trouble at all back then for them. Today with most women being very very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, narcissists, think they’re now so very high and mighty, gold diggers, and very very money hungry today more than ever which really explains why so many of us good single men are having a very difficult time finding love since this definitely has a lot to do with it unfortunately. With so many women that have these very high standards today which they will only want the very best of all, and will never settle for less either. Women have completely changed nowadays when in the past most women were the very complete opposite of today, and Real Ladies as well since they had much better manners and a very good personality as well. And it has become so very dangerous today for many of us men just to say good morning or hello to a woman that we would really love to meet since they will even Curse at us for no reason at all which i will never understand that at all, even when many of us men never did anything wrong to begin with. And i know friends that had the very same thing happened to them as well, and this will certainly explain why many of us good single men were just doomed to be single even though many of us never wanted to be in the first place. What in the world happened to the women today? Feminism has a lot to do with it as well.
God is awesome! Great and amazing writing. May God Almighty continue to Bless you and enable you Sir, to write more.
Thank you so much Sir,God bless you.
I have learnt a lot to better myself and look for these signs in a future partner.stay blessed.
Hello,my name is Steve.May i know you
I’m here experiencing a fake love who I thought is true.
So motivating, breath taking.. I love it. Thanks
I hate my self Bec I feel so much hurt that I’ve never been Bec of love doesn’t meant fake.. we can’t see what their inside only God knows
Thank you
same bro, the truth is that we mostly sincerely fall in love with wrong peoples and people whom don’t like or love us in return.
How do you know if it is true love, or just something you perceived as real based on things from your past relationship with him (in my case) where he made it appear like all of those things were true, but now like at least 3-4 of those 20 sings it is true love are missing (including the cheating instead of being loyal and faithful), and is it repairable if the other person will not tell you what is going on in their hearts or mind?
You will definitely understanding that one day one time because true love never hide.
wow!am amazed………….may the almighty bless u n ur family,great job keep it up
At this moment in my life I’m going thru heart break at 40! Dated my beautiful girlfriend for over a year, she’s now 41 and has 2 kids 11 and 13. We talked about having a child since I haven’t had one of my own yet! Then that’s when thing got a little hectic ! I bought my first house 2 years ago, I gutted the whole inside and designed it a Curtain way since I was a Bachelor At the time! So one year of own my house that’s when we meet! So I needed more rooms if we were going to live together and I was ready to build a half extension on the house for her daughter and son and 2 pit bulls!She then told me she can’t move in , she doesn’t want to remove her kids out of there school and didn’t want to take her daughter away from her grandmother since they lived with there grandparents in a house 25 mins away! So she told me I should rent my house out and move in with her family and we can buy her parents house together ! I told her I couldn’t do that at this time and if we were going to be together we would lose money with renting plus it was hard to think to move away from my first house of my life that I built . I wanted us to just enjoy our jonerney together , even if we didn’t have a kid or at this time just yet live together do to our Circumstances I still wanted us to be together and in the future we would come up with a solution together with living conditions! Well what transpired Was she told me she loved me with all her heart but she want more and gave me an ultimatum If I don’t rent my house out she’s going to move on, this broke my heart and she said she’s sacrificing Her own needs ahead of her children’s ! I just got so confused and now I’m heart broken! Now just asking some advice , thank you for taking the time to read this and god bless 🙏
The article is so much helpful.
I find joy in reading it.
I am praying that God will give you more wisdom in writing articles such as this.
THANK YOU SO. MUCH
SO amazing great read I wish I would have found this article 4yrs ago .Nevertheless, it was truly a blessing to my soul and also confirmation .Be Blessed.
God bless you . amazing job.
Thanks for this very nice article, I really like it, I am asking for your permission and copy number 14 which is the ‘True Love is loyal, fake love is cheater.’ I love that, I’ll copy this and will write on my essay but will put your name in it so that I won’t be call plagiarizing. THANKS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION, GOD BLESS YOU.
I really needed to read this. My partner/husband is self centered and physically abusive…. I have given 100% and he took 100%…thank you. I’m moving forward with my life. I have nothing left to give….
Thanks Sir for this Great Teaching my be i’d rather meet u someday. Thank you sir for being the teacher of my life. Hope all of us stay blessed.
God bless U and your family.
Thank you!
Thank you so much to make me realize my love. Your article is so much helpful for my life.
Thanks a lot.
You’re a great writer. Relatable articles??
What a truly awesome list. So what…you like took positive adjectives, made them the signs of True Love and then took the opposites and made them the signs of Fake Love. Brilliant! You are a seer.
Great article. I myself am or better say was in a relationship that all these 20 factors applied to it. The girl who claimed to love me showed some acts of passion but it was short and periodic. Most of the times she easily let things ruin our relationship. She easily canceled our date nights and easily canceled our sex. Never never never even once did she say that she loved to make love to me or even express her desire to. She was stone cold. When we had a fight, she NEVER came back to apologize or make me feel better. I had to take care of myself and move on and patch things up just because I truly loved her but after some time I knew that she can easily gives up on me. She started fighting with me over the most trivial matters and never came back to put things right. I even tried to set up couples counseling sessions but she said what change did it make!!?? At last, despite all the love I had for her, I gave up for myself, my dignity and my pride. I hope I can find a true love at 31.
PS: I started reading on articles 2 months prior to my final breakup and it helped me realize the weak points of my rel and my partner. I strongly suggest you to do the same if you are planning to break up with someone
You’re right on point. I am on the same boat as you, sadly to admit. I have given my all to him and have been faithful 100%. I am everything that is considered to be true love and he is everything that is to be fake. It’s time I now learn to gain myself back and know that there is someone out there who isn’t fake!!!! Good luck to you!
To the person who wrote about fake love vs.real…. thank you. Those are the correct adjectives! And I knew all of what you had said… I just needed to hear it from someone else. Thank you
In fact; this is so inspiring.
But pls. I want to know at what age is one supposed to inquire/search for true love.
May God bless you sir.
May God increase ur ability and impact u with more knowledge as u give impact to life’s like ours.. It’s indeed a great words that gives the heart nourishment.. #Stay bless sir
What if you have found true love but are not in love yourself ? Can you change it ??
if Your true love is true enough so its Suggested not to change it till you are comfortable.
Great writes. God will increase u more on knwolgde.
Hi. I enjoyed learning about fake and true love. I have a partner.i made a stupid choice when I was drunk one night. And my boyfriend saw me. He will not forgive me,he’s holding a grudge. True love forgives and moves on not to punish me
Thank you for the insights… it made me realized hw doesnt love me truly… but life must go on… God bless you
nice writeup sir may d wisdom nd understanding never 4rm u..thanks 4 making me how fake love and real love is thank a lot nw i knw my stand
Thanks thanks a lot sir may God bless you more .., please do not stop writing .
I Love ur article sir. But does true love also involve sacrificing one’s virginity just to show you love the person?
Just my opinion, no it doesn’t. Sex before marriage is sin & the bible records that it is actually the only sin we commit not just against God but also our own bodies. Love is patient, and if he or she loves you they can and will wait for the right time. Stay blessed
I am sorry to say that it was anyone who offered me attention. Now i feel like bits of me are with others. God’s blessings , His advice, are always best guidance for healthy peaceful life.
God can heal you and knew every day of your life before it happened. He has plans for you!
Number 9 and 10.
No. Because whoever’s asking you to do that . Has a selfish -fake love – desire to get you out of a thought process you know is true. you wouldn’t even question to give it up to somebody else if the characteristics of true love were being shown .
Thank you sir
Love your biblical-based write – ups . Thank you …
This article has greatly given me some insights.Thank you for sharing and God bless you more.
Wow. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13.
Blessed by reading your article Sir. ? I hope you publish more about life talks. God bless you!
Hi Den. Thank you. Surely I will publish more about life development. Have blessed days ahead too. 🙂
Sir i’ve become a great fan of your teachings.
Great write up Sir, God Bless U
Thank you Ikiabo. Be blessed too! 🙂
Congratulations sir, your doing very well be blessed may Lord God give you more wisdom to teach the society so as no one can continue suffering because of marriage matters!!!! Be courageous never give up;!
Dear Sir, I agree with what you have written in all segments but the diffrence between real love and fake love really hit home my only question now is: after loving someone with all you have and knowing you will love them way beyond the grave How do I go on to finding true Love when Im so in love with him? Sincearly, April Castleberry.
Wow….really Amazing, pls….keep it up Sir, dey are all nice, I’ve been going through all of dem – All Nice, it is actually a must read, I’ve even send it to my finance nd my oda friends. So so Nice Sir, keep writing, God is ur strength. God Bless U really good. Amen.