What is the point of committing in a relationship if there is no assurance that what you and your partner feel for each other is real love? A relationship that is only founded on attraction, convenience, or lust may not last a long time. It may even cause you more headaches than inspiration.
To help you on how to identify true love in your relationship, here are 12 clues you should watch out for:
1. Attraction: Beyond the physical
Have you ever asked yourself why you like your partner? If your honest answer is his/her being good-looking, then it is probably not true love yet. It could be mere infatuation or the pride of being with a head-turner.
A genuine love is not based on physical appearance. You love a person regardless how s/he looks like, because it is not about what your eyes see. It is about what your heart sees. What matters more is how the person means to you.
2. Priority: The other person always goes first
True love is selfless. You know it is pure love when you think first of his/her needs before yours. For you, it is alright if you get hungry as long as your partner gets full. You set your wants aside to consider what makes him/her happy.
If you and your partner always consider each other first, then your relationship could last a lifetime. You would be happy serving each other, and being together would be a blessing instead of a burden.
3. Duration: It lasts a lifetime
If your relationship lasts till death do you part, then that is when you could confirm that what you have is true love. That means the two of you have decided to stay by each other’s side despite differences, temptations and flaws.
Imagine spending decades with one person. Only true love can keep the affection for a very long time despite aging looks and irksome attitudes. If you do not love the person, you would not even picture out being with him/her for the rest of your life.
4. Qualification: None
Real love does not require eligibility nor requirements. It simply accepts the person as who s/he is. You love a person not because s/he is university graduate, but simply because you want to be with him/her no matter what.
It is okay to push your partner to achieve something or aim higher goals. However, just make sure that your motive is not selfish—like impressing your friends.
5. Distance: It survives
True love can survive a long distance relationship. It is because love is not determined by the physical presence of the other person. It goes beyond touch and being able to do things together.
Moreover, the reason why true love can survive long distance is because it knows how to wait. It is patient and always hopeful of the future. This kind of love is also characterized by strong trust for each other.
6. Forgiveness: 77×7
Another remarkable trait of true love is that it is always willing to forgive. It gives numerous second chances. The love of the couple is greater than any flaw or mistake committed by each other. How the other person means to them is always more important than his/her failures.
This does not mean they are turning blind eye to their partner’s mistakes though. It is just that since they have accepted the other person as they are, they give allowance for instances of failures. They have patience and grace that keep them hoping for the best in the other person.
7. Background: It does not matter
Since pure love is unconditional, it does not require high profile background. Social status, educational background, culture, and other environmental factors are not a big deal.
This is connected to having neither required eligibilities nor qualifications. You accept your partner no matter where s/he comes from and what s/he has.
8. Patience: It is slow to anger
If you love a person deeply, it is hard to get angry with him/her, right? If s/he has done a mistake, it is normal you would feel hurt and disappointed. However, hate and anger are weaker emotions than your desire to forgive and be reconciled with the person.
I am not saying it is impossible to get mad at someone you love. However, compared to less important people in your life, your rage is always overcome by patience.
9. Personality: It finds ways to complement
Yes, it is better if you find a person whose temperament or personality complements with yours. This will lead to more harmonious relationship, and you get to support each other at your weaknesses.
However, you cannot control love, and sometimes you get to love with someone whose personality does not match yours. If this happens, you do not decide to separate ways immediately. Instead, both of you willingly adjust to meet half ways. You sacrifice your own comfort to make the relationship work.
10. History: Does not keep record of wrongs
One more thing about true love is that it does not keep grudges. After forgiving the other person for any mistake, you are willing to forget and let go of what happened. The next time you have misunderstanding, you do not bring back the past issues anymore, because you have let go already.
Yes, it is not easy to forget the things that hurt you, but if you truly love your partner, you are willing to set aside your pain to keep your relationship from trust issues, grudges, or anything else that can weaken your relationship.
Just be reminded though that love is different from stupidity. If you know your partner is just fooling you, then s/he is not worth it. Love yourself first.
11. Foundation: Friendship
Not all true loves start with friendship, but all true loves are strengthened by friendship. Attraction and emotion will fade away, but solid friendship can help you both maintain the affection and respect for each other.
If your partner is your bestfriend, you can be more honest and open with him/her. Trust grows and loyalty becomes easier. You can also be true to yourself with him/her.
12. Commitment: Decision-based
True love is a decision, not a feeling. If your relationship is only based on attraction and emotion, it would be easy to drift away from it when these foundations fade someday. It is because your reasons of staying with the person are gone. However, if you have decided to commit yourself to a person no matter what happens, you exert more conscious effort to stay committed even when surrounded by trials and temptations.
Not everyone succeeds in keeping the relationship last, but the decision of commitment makes it harder for you to give up on your love. This is the reason why it is more difficult for married couples to separate than those who are not—because they have made vows—and they feel responsible to keep their part of the bond. They may fight and even separate for a time, but many get back together after a while.
On the other hand, most unmarried couples feel less liable in their relationship. I am not judging anybody, okay? I am just pointing out what I have observed among the couples surrounding me. Many of those who separated ways do not reconcile anymore, and finding a different partner is quicker for them. And I have also heard from some of them that the reason why they do not get married is because they are not sure if they want to stay together forever. So, once they get tired of each other, it is easier for them to burn bridges, since there is no hassle of divorce or annulment process.
True love may not be perfect, but it perseveres.
True love may not be a perfect kind of love. However, this is the love that is willing to endure harder. It is selfless and humble. It protects and lifts up. It perseveres to overcome flaws and failures. It fights to last.
You might also want to read these articles:
15 Ways to Find Your True Love
22 Signs of True Love in a Relationship
21 Characteristics of True Love According to the Bible
True Love vs. Fake Love: 20 Differences You Must Know
Photo by Rain Carnation