Being in a relationship is not a walk in the park. It always has its good side and bad side. But when your relationship becomes too complicated that it affects every single aspect of your life, your stress level, your relationships with others and even your mental health, it’s time to assess if that relationship is still worth fighting for. If you want to know if you are in this kind of situation, here are 12 signs of a bad relationship.
1. During an argument, the other or both of you gives the “silent treatment”.
Communication is one of the key elements in maintaining a harmonious relationship with your partner. If he/she gives you the silent treatment, then nothing’s going to get fixed. It might even make your argument worse. If there’s a constant feeling like there is something wrong but when you try to talk to your partner about it you get shut down and pushed away, then you may be in a bad relationship. It’s not right bottling up your feelings, for it gets really bad when it explodes.
2. Lack of ability to forgive
Forgiveness is important for the longevity and health of a relationship. If one partner can’t let go of past hurt or anger and tends to holds a grudge, neither of them will feel intimate and safe together. Both parties should learn to ask for forgiveness with sincerity coupled with a consistent behavior change from the other person. With this, both of them should also learn how to forgive, your partner isn’t perfect and also makes mistakes.
3. You always overthink if your actions are okay with your partner.
A healthy relationship is built on open communication and trust. If oftentimes you find yourself predicting what makes your partner angry and avoiding that as much as possible even if doesn’t always work, it could be a bad situation. A mature relationship involves two persons, those that do not have to always ask the other for permission. Yes, compromise comes with being in a relationship and that you should always consider your partner when making life-altering decisions like quitting and switching jobs. But if you feel like you need to ask for permission in everything you do like making plans with friends, or even finding yourself feeling uncomfortable about making simple choices without overthinking what your partner may think, then there’s something wrong. You are first and foremost an individual who is capable of making your own decisions.
4. Your partner isolates you from the world.
Sure, spending time with your partner is very important. But it is also essential for you to make time to see people who are outside of your relationship like your friends and family. When your partner discourages or prevents you from seeing them, then that is a major red flag. You have your own life even before you entered into that relationship, you should not let your partner take that away from you.
5. When subtle insults are being disguised as “jokes”.
If your other half makes comments about you that are insulting but then say that “it was just a joke” then there’s a problem. People who are emotional bullies will drop subtle insults and then afterward try to make their victims look dumb and stupid or make them think that they’re overreacting. Always remember that a good joke will make you feel included; and that a bad or insulting joke will make you feel angry, small and powerless.
6. You repeatedly caught your partner lying and cheating on you.
A healthy relationship is mostly built on trust, integrity, and honesty. If you’ve caught your partner lying to you (or worse, cheating on you) several times then how are you supposed to trust your partner anymore? Stop holding on to persons who only take you for granted, you deserve so much more than that.
7. You hardly do nice things for each other.
Love and being in a relationship is a two-way street. Both of you should learn how to give and take, it’s the only way you can make your relationship work. If both of you can’t even appreciate each other’s efforts by giving simple gifts or by just acknowledging what your partner has done, then it’s time to think twice about relationship.
8. One or both of you has lost interest in the relationship.
This happens when one or both partners lost the interest to invest energy, emotion and time in the relationship. Here there are a few arguments that are mostly met with passiveness and one-sided from the disengaged person. This situation is often a major sign that the other person is ready to end things.
9. Physical and verbal abuse is present.
Actions such as swearing, yelling, punching and slapping are some examples of physical and verbal abuse. This should never be in a relationship, this might end up hurting you not just physically and emotionally, but also mentally. You should stop making excuses for this kind of behavior and just leave that relationship immediately.
10. One has poor money values or skills.
When one person in a relationship has poor financial skills or financially irresponsible, it will eventually result in resentment, stress, and anger for his/her partner. Money is a major cause of conflict between couples even when both of them are responsible. When the financial relationship is unstable, it greatly impacts trust and respect between the couple and their relationship.
11. There is no respect in the relationship.
Being in a relationship means the both of you are making your relationship work. If one of you doesn’t respect each other’s decisions on certain matters, then why continue being in a relationship? Sure you may resolve things by way of compromise but if it’s the same situation over and over again then it’s not healthy anymore. Both of you should understand that in terms of decision-making, it should be done by the two of you and not by one person only.
12. You feel trapped.
The feeling of being trapped should not be present in your relationship. Why stay and hold on when in the first place you don’t want to be in it? Trust your gut feeling and instincts and leave.
If you have observed these signs between you and your partner, then you are most probably in a bad relationship. Now you may try to patch things up with your him/her if it’s not too late, but if it is, then I do think it’s time to let go. That decision might hurt but that would be the best thing for both of you. I do think that it’s better letting go of someone if it’s unhealthy any more than staying and holding on even if negatively affects every aspect of your life.
ALSO READ: 17 Signs of a Good Relationship