Is there a way to keep your relationship going and growing as time passes by? How can you keep your love long-lasting when breakups seem to be the trend these days?
Love is a gamble that has no assurance. It always takes a risk—but is worth it. As a couple, if both of you want your relationship to last, you need to work together in keeping the love alive even if the magic of attraction has worn off.
Here are 40 effective and tested pieces of love advice that you should apply in your relationship. Each of them is a practical tip that can help preserve your bond as partners.
Staying in Love
1. Always have quality time together.
No matter how busy you are, always make time to be together. The date at least once a week so you will have the chance to check on each other and just relax together.
2. Do not stop making him/her feel special.
Even if the courtship or dating stage is over, both of you should not stop making an effort to treat each other like a king or queen. Give the same effort as when you were just starting together. See 20 Tips on How to Treat Your Girlfriend Like a Queen.
3. Surprise your partner even when there is no occasion.
To keep your relationship from boredom, surprise your partner even during ordinary days. It is a sweet and thoughtful action that never fails to warm the heart.
4. Make an effort to stay attractive.
Although we do not focus on physical appearance, it plays an important role in keeping your partner’s attraction solely to you. This also keeps you from insecurities which usually lead to jealousy and mistrust.
5. Know the love language of your partner.
Each person has a different way of expressing and absorbing love. If your partner’s love language is appreciation, then always shower him/her with compliments. If it is touch, then a hug, tap in the back, or hand squeeze would make him/her feel loved.
6. Be a better version of yourself.
If you keep on improving as a person, then your partner will have peace knowing s/he is influencing you in a good way. It also shows that you are making every effort to prove that you are worthy of him/her.
7. Be generous with appreciation and gratitude.
Always appreciate and be thankful for whatever your partner does for you, no matter how small it is. Take notice of small positive things about him/her as the new haircut and how good his/her outfit is by giving compliments.
8. Always tell your partner s/he is the most attractive in your eyes.
Assure your partner that s/he is the most beautiful or handsome person to you. It can boost self-esteem and make him/her feel secure in your relationship.
9. Make your partner feel you are proud of him/her.
Introducing him/her to your family and friends is one of the biggest compliments you can give your partner. Also, announcing on social media that you are in a relationship or married to your partner is a simple way of showing how proud you are to be with him/her.
10. Do simple yet fun things together.
Walking in the rain, eating street food, having a movie marathon, and just walking the dog in the neighborhood together are simple activities that can be turned into beautiful memories.
Honoring Commitment
11. Do not take your time together for granted.
Honor your scheduled time for a date or bonding. Manage your time wisely so you do not have any excuse to use that time for other appointments.
12. Do not forget significant occasions.
Create reminders so you will not forget his/her birthday or your anniversary as a couple. Celebrating these dates shows how much your relationship and partner mean to you.
13. Remember that love is not an emotion.
When the attraction phase is over, remember that love is a commitment and is not based on feelings—which are just chemical reactions in your brain.
14. Do not compare your partner to anyone.
Yes, your partner is not perfect and you will always find someone who is better than him/her. Accept him/her for whoever s/he is.
15. Be best of friends.
The best foundation of a relationship is friendship. When the attraction is gone, the strong friendship will be an anchor that would keep your love from drifting away.
16. Do not lie–ever.
Honesty plays a crucial role in trust. Once your partner catches you lying even about a small thing, it would make him/her question the truth in everything you say.
17. Stop searching for what s/he lacks but focus on what s/he has.
Do not make your partner’s flaws an excuse to look for someone else. Focus on the positive traits of your partner—those that have made you fall for him/her in the first place.
18. Make your partner feel that you trust him/her completely.
Never insinuate that you doubt your partner’s faithfulness to you. Avoid checking his/her phone every time you meet. Do not stop him/her from seeing his/her friends too.
19. Do not break your partner’s trust.
Do not do unto your partner what you do not want your partner to do unto you—even if s/he would not know about it. Also, read 10 Ways to Build and Maintain Trust in a Relationship.
20. Do not flirt with anyone.
Flirting may seem to be harmless, but actually, it is still a form of cheating since you give someone else the attention that your partner deserves.
Handling Lovers’ Quarrels
21. Never suggest breakup.
No matter how bad your fight is, if you do not mean to lose him/her, never ever decide to break up with your partner. You might regret that impulsive decision.
22. Be the first to say ‘sorry’.
There should be no room for pride in your relationship. Be willing to apologize first no matter whose fault it is—especially if it is yours.
23. Do not decide or say anything when you are at the height of your emotion.
Like about suggesting a breakup, major decisions in your relationship should not be made when you are at the peak of anger, excitement, or any extreme feeling.
24. Forgive your partner 7×7.
Do not keep a record of your partner’s wrongs. Do not count the number of times you have released forgiveness because mistakes are part of being alive.
25. Deal with your problems privately.
Avoid posting about your fight with your partner on social media. Shaming your partner in public could kill any chance of reconciliation.
26. Reconcile before the day ends.
If possible, try to settle any conflict before the sunsets. Prolonged misunderstandings could create a bigger gap between you.
27. Be sensitive to your partner’s feelings.
Before making a decision or doing anything, think first if it could hurt or offend your partner. The moment you had committed yourself to the relationship, you became accountable to your partner.
28. Stop repeating the mistakes that caused your fights.
If you want to avoid fights, then stay away from the habits or actions that caused them before.
29. Do not waste second chances.
If you have committed a mistake and your partner forgave and gave you a second chance, then do not take it for granted.
30. Do not badmouth your partner to anyone.
Never criticize your partner before others, no matter what his/her flaws are. Supposedly, it is your commitment to defend him/her against anyone who does that.
Road to forever
31. Put God at the center of your relationship.
If you commit to honoring God with your relationship, then both of you will be careful not to do anything that is not pleasing to Him—and that includes hurting or cheating on your partner.
32. Encourage each other to reach your highest potentials.
A healthy relationship that motivates a person to achieve self-fulfillment has a greater chance of lasting.
33. Be sure you can visualize your future together.
If you cannot see—or have no plan of seeing—yourself with your partner in the future, then you are not sure if s/he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
34. Plan for the future.
Plans may not be perfectly executed, but at least you are setting a direction for your relationship—which is a sign of being a mature and responsible couple.
35. Be financially stable.
Many marriages have been ruined because of financial problems. Therefore, strive to be both financially stable first before settling down.
36. Make an effort to be close to his/her family.
Your partner’s family is an important part of his/her being. That is why you must love them too.
37. Get married.
Aside from getting God’s blessings, marriage is a sign of full commitment to each other. Some couples do not get married because they anticipate separation in the future, which eventually happens.
38. Give and take.
A relationship is healthy if it benefits both persons involved. Both partners should put the needs of each other first.
39. Assure your partner you will always be there through thick and thin.
Love is best tested in tough times. Be willing to stay with your partner no matter how hard the situation gets, especially when s/he is down.
40. Let love be unconditional.
Stop trying to change your partner to be someone your ideal (unless s/he is into destructive habits that can harm everyone including himself/herself). Embrace him/her for who s/he is.
A Mutual Effort
For your relationship to last, it needs collaboration between you two. You need to work together to overcome challenges and grow through them. Do your part as the other half and your partner will eventually do his/her part too.
ALSO READ: 10 Must-Know Relationship Advice for Couples
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Excellent write-up, and very practical as well. I have loved every bit of it. Thanks