Long-distance relationships (LDR) are a unique but increasingly common type of romance. Couples in this relationship brave against not just the test of time but of distance too. Some of them may be living in different cities, states, or even countries and continents, but they do their best to fight for the love they share.
However, LDR is not for everybody. There are also instances when you just wake up one day and realize that your bond had long ended before you even knew it. Such situations can be heart-breaking because there’s a more significant, more profound void that’s created after you break up. Oftentimes, you also don’t know where and how to start moving forward with your life after losing a loved one who’s located miles away.
An LDR that’s falling apart, just like the typical relationship, also has its tell-tale signs. In case you are wondering, here are six signs that you may need to end your long-distance relationship:
1. You can go through days without talking to each other.
LDR couples value spending time together even when they can only do it through calls or video chats. These are the only ways they can share quality time together, unlike healthy couples who can go out and watch a movie anytime they want.
However, if you and your LDR partner are no longer into doing video calls or seemingly unending message exchanges, to the point that can stand not communicating with each other, then this poses a red flag. It might be time to discuss things and see if your relationship still exists.
ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Keep a Long Distance Relationship Exciting
2. You don’t talk about anything interesting anymore.
Another unique quality found in LDR couples is that despite being apart, they have a lot of things to share with each other, which they both find interesting. This is because while they are living separately, they care for each other’s likes and peeves. This is also what keeps their passion burning.
Meanwhile, if you are in an LDR relationship but you start to feel obligated to spend time with your significant other, then better ask yourself what’s happening. Are you not 100% committed to making your relationship work? Do note that regular communication is vital to the success of your relationship, and if you don’t find your heart in it anymore then maybe you need to end it instead.
3. One of you starts to be evasive.
Let’s say that at the start of your relationship, you two can’t get enough of each other. You make time to spend together, update each other about your activities for the day, and exchange selfies every now and then.
Sure, for all these to slow down over time is normal, primarily when you have grown to trust each other. However, what does it tell when one of you starts to avoid the other deliberately?
While you want to avoid going paranoid, this is an indicator that one of you (particularly the one who starts going evasive first) is going through an issue concerning your relationship. You may want to do your best to reach out and find out what’s going on, but if your partner continues to deny you this vital right, then it may be time to let go.
4. Your partner prioritizes other activities over you.
Have you experienced instances when, while at the start of your conversation, your partner begins attending to another call or message exchange and spends more time with them instead of talking to you?
Are the times when you find yourself brushed aside as your partner chooses to do other things with their friends rather than be in your scheduled video calls?
As much as you hate to admit it, this is a sign that your partner is no longer interested in the relationship as much as you are. Perhaps it would be better that you be the one to give way and move on. This can be a way for both of you to think things through. If you are meant for each other, your paths will cross again.
ALSO READ: 11 Reasons Why Your Long Distance Relationship Won’t Work
5. You are the one exhibiting indicators 1 to 4.
In a long-distance relationship, both parties are at risk to the first four issues mentioned above. In case you are feeling like something is off in your LDR status, then you may first want to look at your side. This way, you can come up with a sound analysis of the situation, not to find who is at fault, but if what you two have is still worth continuing.
You may want to ask yourself why you are acting like you are avoiding the person you have claimed to love and promised a long-term commitment. Why are you waging fights or provoking arguments that you know at the end of the day to have no resolution?
6. Your LDR is becoming toxic.
Probably the biggest red flag to end a long-distance relationship is when it is already starting to destroy both of your lives. A good relationship should help the two of you grow as a person. It should not hinder you from growing emotionally, professionally, and even financially. It should also be healthy for your mind, body, and soul.
If you always see yourself crying, getting sick, and messing with your life, then it might be the right time to end your toxic long-distance relationship. It may be a painful process but you have to consider detoxifying your life, not only for yourself, but also for your family, dearest friends, and other people who also need you and love you.
What to do next?
LDR breakups can be painful to both parties because you don’t have your partner to share the hurt. Unlike typical relationships where breakups happen face-to-face, LDR breakups leave cracks and voids. Either of you still hopes to fix things, because you won’t believe it’s over until you see each other in person.
However, reality bites. You should learn to accept things once you’ve both agreed that it’s over (even if you just reluctantly gave in). Ending the relationship may be the better way for you two because it might open the door to a stronger friendship. Also, you two could be destined for other partners too.
If you are seeing the signs that your LDR is about to end, the best thing to do is to speak to your partner. Talk things through. Listen to each other’s issues and concerns. Hear out what your partner wants and tell them what you want too. Let them know about your plans and dreams. Get to know their desires also. You may shout or bicker or get emotional, but the more important thing is, you two have to lay things down to come up with a decision that suits both parties best, may it be to break up or to survive your long-distance relationship no matter what.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
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7 Proven Ways to Survive a Long Distance Relationship
Great article. I am in the same boat right now. I am a much older female to my boyfriend who lives in other country. At the beginning, he loved how I was and my passions like singing, speeches, dancing (on my YouTube channel), the way I dressed up etc. We have met only once. Being in different countries is very complicated and tough to hold on to a relationship. More of all, we both know that there is no future, except in lala land illusion.
I am a practical type and he is emotional type. I have already gone thru 2 divorces and have kids. And this is just a beginning in his life. There is a huge gap between us in our experiences and age of course. In fact, when he liked my videos on YouTube, I had just expressed my gratitude to him for giving his time to watch. But I never knew that he has some other emotions of love for me. I will say that I was tactfully made to fall in love with him. It’s been 2.5 years now in this relationship, and now everything is falling apart. I have also figured out that he is an introvert narcissist who likes to control me even in smaller stuff like how I should spend my day over the weekends, how to dress up and many many more. If I don’t do according to what he wants, he immediately stops talking to me after he preaches about my faults and punishes me that way. When I brought this up to him, he said that he never has that intention to punish me and then starts love bombing and makes sure I forget about his punishments. There are many many incidents that happens almost every week now. In fact we both (at least I) feel peaceful when I am not talking to him. I will be honest here and say it out loud that I am ready to breakup. I am happy by myself and in much peace. I love my kids and am totally dedicated towards them. I do not want any man in my life anymore. After all these 26 years of relationship experiences, I have come to a decision, a choice that I am happy with myself and do not need any life partner. I know I will survive happily.
Internet is a platform where I am able to voice my inside feelings, as no one will know who I am and where I am from. Thank you for reading this and giving me a chance to write it out loud. I feel lighter now. I will stop here as this has gone too long.