Fresh from a breakup? Yes, it is surely painful, but it is not fatal—unless you, yourself, decide you want to end everything already. Remember that you are not the first, not even the last, person on earth who would get his/her heartbroken. However, most of the people who have experienced breakups are able to live a successful and happy life at the moment. That means you can survive this too.
Now, what you need to focus on is handling your heartbreak properly, so that you will not regret anything in the future. What are the things you should NEVER do after a breakup?
1. Drown yourself in alcohol.
This is the most common temporary solution that broken people resort to. Nevertheless, this does not really solve anything. Instead, you just end up wasted after each night of too much drinking. The next day, you cannot work anymore because aside from being emotionally unwell, the hangover keeps you in bed.
2. Get hooked on destructive habits.
Aside from alcoholism, other destructive habits that people who are rebelling against life because of heartbreak resort to are drug addiction, gambling, and sleeping with different partners every night. The question is, can these habits do anything good to you aside from the momentary pleasure they give? In the end, you realize you have been buried deeper, and it becomes more difficult to rise from your downfall.
3. Isolate yourself.
Do not let your loneliness make you lonelier by shutting others out of your life. This is the time when you need company the most so your thoughts will be diverted from the pain. If you are surrounded by family and friends, you can let out your pain until you have poured out everything.
4. Think about ending your life.
It is normal for people going through hard times to have suicidal thoughts especially if they think they cannot bear the pain anymore. It is not the end of your world, and there are still more reasons to live. If you quit life now, you would miss greater opportunities and better times ahead.
ALSO READ: Read This If You Are Feeling Depressed and Suicidal
5. Take all the blame.
You may have your part in the cause of the breakup, but do not be too harsh on yourself by thinking it is all your fault. No one is perfect, and for sure your ex has his/her flaws which also contributed to the end of your relationship. I am not saying you blame your ex or other people but instead, just let go and forgive.
6. Wallow in self-pity.
Being left by someone you loved does not mean you are not worthy to be loved in return. Do not think there is a problem with you and you are hard to be with. Maybe your ex and you had just irreconcilable differences because of your unique personalities. Someday, you will meet someone whose personality complements yours, and s/he would think you are the perfect one for him/her.
7. Stalk your ex.
The more you check on your ex’s Facebook or Instagram, the more you find it hard to move on. If you really want to move forward, then avoid anything that can remind you of him/her while the wounds are still fresh.
ALSO READ: How to Move On After a Relationship Ends: 15 Ways to Freshen Up
8. Stop reaching for your goals/dreams.
Even if your ex was part of your dreams, you can still pursue them without him/her. Your life should not revolve around a person or thing. If you already lost someone dear to you and you lose your dreams too, then you lose the reason for living. So, instead of letting go of your life goals, use them as a motivation to push yourself forward.
9. Be hopeless about the future.
There are still a lot of big opportunities waiting for you out there. Like what I wrote above, your life should not revolve around a single entity. Do not dwell in the past, but rather focus on making your future better than the present.
10. Beg your ex to come back.
If your ex is already decided that s/he does not want you in his/her life anymore, then it is time to let go. Do not push yourself on someone who does not love you anymore. Let us say your ex gets back with you because s/he does not want you hurting. Would it be fine with you knowing pity is the only thing that binds you together? Save a little dignity for yourself.
11. Find a ‘rebound’.
Dating someone else just to help you forget is a crime. You know you have not moved on from your ex and this new one is just there to fill up the empty space. Do you really think you would be happy? No, especially if you do not really love the person. Soon you will be choked by guilt, and breaking his/her heart would be another weight to carry.
12. Jump from one relationship to another.
The same with #11, this will only worsen your emotional struggle. For every person you allow to enter your life, a part of you gets attached to that individual. Every time you break away from him/her, that attached part gets torn. If you keep doing this, soon you will be emotionally burnt out to the point you cannot feel anything anymore.
13. Post hate statuses against ex on social media.
Shaming your ex on social media would only shame you more. Do not use Facebook to air out your sentiments against him/her. Your heartbreak becomes entertainment to your Facebook friends. Do not make your life an open book especially when it comes to sensitive areas like this. The world does not need to know what your ex did to you. If you want your issues to be resolved, talk in private.
14. Threaten your ex that you would hurt yourself.
You do not want to get your ex back just because s/he feels guilty for anything bad that might happen to you. This would not make your ex love you back. Instead, s/he would just hate you because you do not set him/her free. This makes you look more pathetic too.
15. Wait for him/her to come back.
This is self-torture. Keeping yourself from loving anyone else just because you are waiting for your ex to be back is a stupid idea. What if s/he does not come back? You just end up alone while your ex is happy with someone else. You deserve to love and be loved again. Open your heart for new love.
Keep swimming
As the cliché goes, there is a lot of fish in the sea. Instead of sulking in your shell, why not go out, swim and explore the ocean? This will make you see lovely sceneries and meet other wonderful creatures. You will heal faster for sure. As you swim, you will meet lovelier fish, and who knows? You might end up with the most beautiful one in the ocean.
ALSO READ: 7 Inspiring Ways to Move On After a Breakup
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Thank u alot…it encorage me alot..but i had a lot of confuseness in myself still yet?
You’re welcome, David. It may take time, but surely everything will be alright. Don’t rush moving on. You can do it.
Your write up have incredibly touch me that I must say Bravo to your elbow, You are indeed inspiration. God Bless you more.
Thank you, Daniel. All the glory to God. God bless you too. =)