Marriage is a lifetime commitment. People are supposed to marry to procreate, start a family, and cherish their love with their own spouse, children, and grandchildren for the rest of their lives. In other words, marriage is supposed to be built to last.
If there is one good secret to having a lasting marriage, it would be to make oneself ready to enter into this kind of relationship. You should not just marry a person because you have fallen in love and you feel like you already want to spend the rest of your life with her or him.
What if you get married? What happens now? How would you really spend the rest of your life with your chosen wife or husband? It’s natural to fall in love. It’s easy to make a wedding vow. But in order to fulfill your promise, you need to know how you will exactly do that.
To guide you, here are 32 tips to make your marriage healthy and long-lasting:
1. Be independent of your parents and parents-in-law.
Live in a house which is separate from both of your parents. This will give your marriage the freedom it needs to mature and grow in its own way,
2. Bless your home and your marriage.
Blessings are what you earned by doing the right things and avoiding sins. Therefore, bless your home and your family, not only by praying but also by practicing righteousness and avoiding wickedness.
ALSO READ: 8 Ways to Truly Bless Your Relationship
3. Do not envy other couples or people.
Be grateful for the blessings and graces you receive every day. Always thank your wife or husband for the little or great efforts they make to take care and love you. If you see happy couples or families, be inspired and happy to see them instead of being envious or bitter.
4. Know your marital duties and obligations.
Do not be ignorant of your marital responsibilities. Know that as husband and wife, the both of you are obliged to live together, support each other, be honest with each other, be faithful to each other, do procreation, and take care of your children.
5. Fulfill your marital obligations to each other.
Knowing your marital duties is not enough. Hence, don’t just be reminded but do your best to perform those obligations mentioned above.
6. Surrender your body to your wife or husband.
Let your spouse have the authority over your body, and vice versa. This means if your husband tells you not to wear revealing clothes, follow your husband. And for the husband, if your wife tells you not to touch or be touched by other women, then follow your wife.
ALSO READ: 32 Ways to be a Better Husband
7. Love yourself as you love your spouse.
Learn to love yourself. Have a balanced diet, do regular exercise, get enough sleep, avoid vices that get you sick, and always improve your personal development. Remember that you cannot love and take care of your family if you can’t even love and take care of yourself.
8. Be fearless and get rid of your insecurities.
Love your wife or husband without expecting love in return. Love your spouse without fearing that someday she or he will be gone. Enjoy giving pure love. Remember that the love you give will never be lost.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship
9. Trust your spouse.
Realize that trusting your partner is an essential key to having a long-lasting marriage. Know your spouse better. Listen to her or him. Stop making false assumptions. Unless there is clear evidence that your spouse is deceiving you, always treat her or him as a person who can be trusted.
10. Be trustworthy.
Don’t ask your spouse to give you trust. Work hard, earn, and maintain it. Help your better half trust you easily.
11. Always thank your better half.
Thank your wife or husband for the care and sacrifice she or he is giving you. Let your better half feel that everything she or he does to you, even if they are just simple things, they are valued and appreciated.
12. Have more patience.
Stop complaining when your goals and wishes are not yet achieved. Understand that great things are worth the wait. Be calm and do not be easily angry. When you experience trials and challenges in your relationship, consider them as opportunities to strengthen the love and faithfulness in your marriage.
13. If you get angry, get rid of it before the day ends.
Don’t let the day ends with hatred in your heart. Make peace with your wife or husband before the two of you sleep at night.
14. Be healthy and beautiful for your better half.
Continue impressing your spouse. Have good hygiene, maintain your natural beauty, go to the gym, do meditations, and eat a balanced diet to always look stunning for your wife or husband.
ALSO READ: 21 Ways to Be a Better Wife
15. Avoid bad and toxic people.
Choose your friends and companions. Avoid people who will influence you to sin or do extramarital affairs. Stay away from people who will corrupt your good character and ruin your marriage.
16. Be mature and choose your priorities.
Prioritize your spouse, your children, your marriage, and your family over less significant things like your vices, ego or pride.
ALSO READ: 10 Ways to be More Mature in a Relationship
17. Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness.
Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on your spouse. Admit your mistakes and sincerely ask your spouse for her or his forgiveness.
18. Pray to heal and forgive.
Meditate for enlightenment and pray for the healing of your heartaches. Take your time.
19. Practice prudence.
Do not be hasty with your actions and decisions. Think twice and always consider the consequences before you make a move or a choice.
20. Be kind and compassionate.
Feel what your spouse feels. Experience your partner’s pain or joy. Have compassion by understanding the innermost needs of your wife or husband. Give your spouse comfort, embrace, kindness, and even privacy if she or he needs them.
ALSO READ: 12 Ways to be Kind and Loving in a Relationship
21. Be humble.
Learn how to swallow your pride so that you can practice humility, forgiveness, and gracefulness. Moreover, live a simple and quiet life with your family to avoid problems that are too difficult for you to handle.
22. Live in the present.
Do not dwell on the past but focus on the present moment. Do not let your heartbreaks from the past ruin your current relationship. Do not let your worries about the future stop you from spending quality time with your spouse. Seize the opportunities today to show how much you love your wife or husband.
23. Quit recording your spouse’s past mistakes.
Stop counting and remembering your spouse’s past wrongs, especially if you have already forgiven them. Quit using them against your partner when you argue just to win the battle.
24. Stop keeping score.
In relation to #23, also quit counting the good deeds you have done for your marriage just to show how superior you are to your spouse. Remember that marriage is not a competition but a union between you and your partner. Promote teamwork in your relationship, not rivalry.
ALSO READ: 12 Ways to Support Each Other in a Relationship
25. Be selfless.
Create plans, goals, and dreams for your spouse, your children and your whole family rather than just for yourself. Put your own happiness in their happiness.
26. Be loyal.
Never ever cheat. Don’t ever think that you will get another chance once you’ve done cheating, infidelity, and other extramarital affairs. Keep your marriage vows in your heart, mind, and soul.
27. Never stop loving.
Don’t stop caring for your spouse even if the two of you are arguing or fighting. Continue to love your wife or husband even if the two of you are quarreling and considering each other as enemies.
28. Don’t lose hope.
Fight with all your might and don’t give up easily when your marriage is tested. Understand that it’s normal for married couples to encounter problems that will test their love. If things are getting too difficult, get a support system. Gain spiritual strength from God and get support from your family and friends.
29. Have faith.
Do something to realize the things you hope for. Understand that having faith is not just believing but also doing something to make what you believe in happen. In other words, have faith with deeds. If you’re faithful to your spouse, don’t just hope or believe that your marriage will last but do your best to keep yourself away from temptations.
30. Give only true love.
There is no secret to a long-lasting marriage but genuine love. Hence, learn and identify what true love really is. Evaluate yourself if you’re really giving real love to your spouse. If not, work for it. Remember that true love is not given magically to your wife or husband, but it is something that you need to work hard for. It requires your patience, perseverance, humility, honesty, and more.
31. Discipline your children.
Don’t just be a better spouse to your wife or husband, but also be a better parent to your children. To make your marriage last, make your family happy and successful too. Teach your children how to become good and responsible people so that they will not be your family’s problem in the future.
32. Let love be the center of your marriage.
Know that true love binds all the good virtues that will help you and your spouse have a happy and long-lasting marriage. It unites your patience, kindness, compassion, humility, truthfulness, and faithfulness in perfect harmony to make your relationship last. Hence, always let love be the center of your marriage, not money and other material things.
Furthermore, if you believe in God, know that God is pure love. Therefore, let God, who is pure love, be always the center of your marriage.
Final thoughts
Understand that marriage is teamwork. That is why both of you are called better halves. To have a long-lasting marriage, both of you should strive to follow the tips above. It won’t work if only one is working it out. But if your partner is struggling to be a better spouse, remember not to judge her or him quickly or force your better half to change instantly. Instead, be a role model and show your beloved spouse how to practice the ways above.
ALSO READ: 28 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage: Bible Verses to Guide You
Online courses recommended for you:
- How to Become a Good and Godly Husband:
how to love your wife in the ways she feels your love. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
this course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. - Rules of Engagement: Fair Fighting for Marriage [Vol 1-3]:
Understand How Conflicts Work, Navigate Them Better & Make Them Work to Your Advantage in Marriage.
Books recommended for you:
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ALSO READ:
28 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage: Bible Verses to Guide You
I am by far the last person to be advice to another person about “relationship advice”.
Go somewhere with your Husband and tell him how you feel”.
He probably does not even realise the seriousness of the matter
(How you think,feel, contemplating of even leaving him).
As far as he is concerned he is under the assumption that they are only words. He thinks that there is nothing wrong with your Marriage.
Underlying issue is
(as I am a MAN…I know from experience as the cliche or tittle from Book;
“MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS”.
Unfortunately and Fortunately I have experienced/learned that the hard way.
Some of us Mature by choice,understanding or wanting to change. Some people will have different opinions of what I have just written. Pending on our experiences throughout our life journey.
I wish you all the best luck. Asyou know yourself that the easiest option would be to leave. But HARDEST OPTION is to work it out. Then if he continues as you have clearly defined. After speaking to him…You have done your part to save the Marriage. If you did not love him you would have left him.
Ultimately, it will be up to him as he will want to change for your Marriage, .ove you have for each other. He will change slowly and not quick. This will show you that he truly loves you.
I have big fear lately that my marriage won’t work out. We both still live in his parents. And his mother dislike me. She controlled everything and when my husband made mistake she always enable him and blaming me. I always wrong in they parents eyes. My husband never follow my advice to move out from this black hole and have our own place. He said he have not enough money to move out but his hobby is playing video games and always spending alot money on games. I am so frustrated and yet scared i am not stand anymore with the situation and walk away. Don’t make me wrong i love him. Just i need him more mature and be more responsible