Marriage is not just a legal agreement but a lifelong commitment. When you marry someone, you promise with all your heart and mind that you will be with your spouse and cherish your love for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, as long as you live.
The reality is that wedding vows are not easy to keep. You can always wear your wedding ring to show your loyalty to your spouse, but keeping such loyalty in your heart, mind, and deeds is another story. Marriage is not all about symbols and ceremonies but it’s about actions and practices.
If you love your wife, you have to show her that you are trying to be a good and even a better husband every day. Yes, it’s easier said than done. But if you know what to do, you can already start setting your direction to that goal now. If you don’t have any idea how to be a better spouse, here are 30 ways to be a better husband to guide you.
1. Love your wife as you love yourself.
When you get married, you and your wife become one flesh. Hence, you should love your wife as you love yourself – you should take care of your wife as yourself. Never hurt your wife; never hurt yourself. Remember that you cannot love your wife if you can’t love yourself. And you can’t love yourself if you can’t even love your wife.
In other words, if you love your wife, love your body. Don’t be a drunkard or a glutton. Don’t put yourself in sickness and serious dangers. Live a healthy lifestyle. When you’re healthy, your wife will surely be happy as she will not be worried about you.
2. Enjoy the food she cooks.
As long as it is not poisonous or harmful to your health, then enjoy and appreciate the food she cooks or bakes. You can be honest about the taste – it will help her improve. But no matter how it tastes, don’t stop appreciating her.
3. Master the art of keeping oneself calm.
Love is patient. Hence, if you want to be a better husband, grow your patience every day. Learn how to control your anger and keep yourself calm no matter what. In times of fighting and arguments, be mature and be the bringer of calmness and peace.
4. Be a great leader by being a great servant.
Men are supposed to lead their own wife. But how can you make your wife trust and follow you if you are not responsible and reliable? Thus, show your wife that you can be trusted. Show her that you are a reliable leader.
A reliable leader is someone who leads by actions, not by mere talks. He is not bossy. He doesn’t lead by simply giving instructions but a servant leader who leads by example.
5. Be a better son-in-law and sibling-in-law.
If you want to have a happier and stronger marriage, do your best to make your wife’s parents and siblings happy. Remember that you have already become a part of their family, and as a member of their family, you have to create a harmonious relationship with them.
If you love your wife but hate her family, and if you are kind and generous to your wife but you are rude to her family, then what kind of a man are you?
6. Swallow your pride.
Pride ruins relationships. It causes petty fights and wastes quality time in your marriage. If you want to be a better spouse, be a more humble person. Whether it’s your fault or hers, always be the first to offer peace and ask for forgiveness. Be down to Earth so you can raise your wife and your marriage.
ALSO READ: 7 Ways to be Humble in a Relationship
7. Remember the important dates.
Don’t forget your wedding anniversary, her birthday, and other days which are special to her. And aside from remembering them, give something that will surprise your wife and make her happy on that very special day.
8. Be loyal.
Never ever cheat. It’s not only unethical but also illegal in certain countries. Keep your marriage vow, not only because you don’t like to be imprisoned or be fined, but definitely because you simply love your wife and you want her to have a partner who loves her and only her.
9. Keep your eyes only to her.
It may be difficult to do but the eye is the lamp of the body (read Matthew 6:22-24) and it is also considered as the window to your soul. Thus, if you want to be the best husband to your wife, don’t let your eyes sin. It may be your eyes that are only sinning, but over time, it may reach and corrupt your soul. Hence, the best way to prevent yourself from cheating is to prevent it before it reaches your eyes.
10. Continue to woo her.
Keep the romance and sweetness alive no matter how many years you’ve been married to her. Date her, write love notes for her, and treat her like a queen or a princess. Instead of over thinking if she still loves you, focus on making her fall in love with you over and over again.
11. Respect her.
Always respect your wife. Remember that she’s your wife. Hence, you should respect everything about her, her opinions, her rights, your relationship with her, her motherhood to your children, and even her husband – yourself. Don’t stop respecting her, even if you think she doesn’t deserve it.
12. Just trust her.
Girls want their guys to trust them. They don’t like you to think negative things about them. They don’t want men to treat them as a dirty and untrustworthy person. Hence, if you don’t have any proof that your wife cannot be trusted, then just trust her and stop getting insecure or paranoid.
13. Focus on making yourself trustworthy.
Instead of doubting your wife too much and letting yourself get paranoid, concentrate on building your wife’s trust on you. Focus on proving yourself to her that you can be trusted. Build trust in your marriage by starting to build it from yourself.
14. Keep no record of wrongs.
Did your wife make mistakes in the past? Don’t bring up those issues again just to defend yourself when you fight. Move on from the past, especially if the two of you have already resolved them and you have already forgiven her. Bringing up past issues only creates endless arguments.
15. Celebrate your love with the truth.
Marriage is happier and healthier when couples have nothing to hide with each other. Hence, let the truth prevails in your relationship. Be transparent and honest always. Tell your big secrets so you can set yourself free and continue to love without holding on to lies.
16. Give time and space.
There are women who don’t like to talk when they are mad at you. If you’re the kind of a man who wants to resolve issues in your relationship immediately but your partner is not, then don’t force her to talk. Learn to give her some time and space to cool down and reflect on the issues. Be patient and understanding.
17. Learn how to save money.
Stop drinking too much alcohol and eating too much meat. Stop smoking, gambling and other vices. Stop buying unessential things. Save money and work harder to grow your income and wealth. This will surely make your wife and children happy.
18. Build your own home.
It is important that you have your own home. You don’t need to build a mansion, but a decent house, whether owned or leased, that will give you and your wife independence from your parents will certainly help your marriage and family grow.
ALSO READ: 21 Qualities of a Good Husband in the Bible
19. Be a better father.
Mothers have pure love for their children. If you want to be a better husband, be a better father. Being a better parent is not only about giving everything that your children need or want. To be a better dad, you have to teach your children the sense of discipline. To inspire them, be a role model by having self-discipline.
20. Be selfless.
Have a sense of sacrifice. Show to your wife and children that you can sacrifice things for them. Reschedule that business meeting to attend your daughter’s school stage performance. Cancel that basketball game with your gang to give way to a romantic dinner date with your wife. Stay healthy and don’t get sick, so you will always be available to your family.
21. Be grateful.
Be thankful for the love and care your wife is giving you. Tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her how lucky and blessed you are to have her in your life. Remove any envy in your heart. Do not compare your wife or your married life to others out there. Be happy and content.
22. Be kind and gentle.
You should not only be gentle with your wife physically but also emotionally and mentally. Most couples have opposite attitudes and ways of life. If you want your wife to change into a better person, don’t force and rush her – it’s so stressful. Just be gentle and let her feel a kind and warm environment. You will be surprised how it will help her change for the better.
Speaking of kindness and gentleness, don’t force your wife to have sex with you. Although she has a marital obligation with you, it’s still better if you can ensure that the both of you enjoy it. If she’s always not in the mood, then you have to be creative and do something to get her in the mood.
23. Be a better listener.
Don’t talk too much. Be a good husband by listening more often to your wife. Be a better husband by doing something based on what you have listened to. If you hear problems from your wife, help her solve them. If you hear her asking something from you, provide it to her. Remember that a better listener is not a mere listener, but a doer.
24. Know her.
What’s her favorite color, food, flower, place, movie, or song? What makes her so happy or sad? What are her goals and dreams in life? What does she want you to become? You should know those things in order to love her and make her happy. Take note that knowing is loving.
25. Understand her.
Whether it’s pain or joy, feel what she feels. Let her realize that you also feel sad when she’s sad – and happy when she’s happy. Let her realize that your hearts are connected and will never be apart. Don’t kill her simple joys in life. If she enjoys singing, join her even though it’s awkward and she’s out of tune.
26. Protect her.
Be her hero. Protect her not only from physical danger but also from mental, emotional and even spiritual dangers. In other words, don’t give her mental stress, don’t break her heart, and don’t bring her into temptations. Bring her closer to God.
27. Support her.
She loves to cook and dreams to own her own restaurant? Help her fulfill her dream. Does she love being a stay-at-home mom but get too tired taking care of your house and children? Give your wife a good massage to help her relax and refresh at night.
28. Be hopeful.
Hope is when you continue to be confident of the future despite your present struggles. To be a better husband, don’t just hope, but be hopeful. In other words, be full of hope no matter how difficult your present struggles are. Don’t tell your wife she’s hopeless when she struggles to change for the better. Don’t say that your marriage is hopeless when both of you are still together trying to save your relationship. Remember that as long as you live there is hope.
29. Be faithful.
Faith substantiates our hope. To be a great spouse, you should not only hope but also do something to strengthen your hope. Hoping that your wife will change into a better person without supporting and inspiring her is having hope without faith. Hoping that your relationship will last without stopping yourself from lying and cheating doesn’t make you faithful either.
Do something to validate your hope – this is what faithfulness is all about!
30. Show her what true love really is.
Finally, to be a great husband to your spouse, let her experience what true love is. You can show your true love by doing your best to follow the tips above. It really is difficult to be a great or even just a good husband. But if you truly love your wife, you can sacrifice great things to transform yourself to be a better person so you can be a better husband to your wife and a better father to your children.
When you love truly, you produce life’s greatest virtues, such as patience, kindness, compassion, gentleness, humility, and self-control. Therefore, no matter how difficult it is to be a better spouse, as long as you have true love in your heart for your wife, becoming a better husband will just come naturally.
ALSO READ: 21 Ways to be a Better Wife