It is an understatement when you say that a bad breakup is painful. And all breakups are bad depending on what perspective you’re looking at. Knowing that you’ve spent a period of time having an intimate relationship with someone and then ending it with a few personal reasons can be painful to hear. And that is the reason why people who just broke up with their partners struggle to get over their past relationship.
However dwelling on that pain too much is bad, most especially when it has already been going on for a few months or years already. I mean, he/she is not the only one in the world who will love you for who you are. You can think of it as God’s way of getting you out of that relationship before things got worse. That maybe he/she is not the right one for you.
But it’s really a devastating feeling when you’re in a relationship with someone and the two of you broke up when you least expect it. And if you’re in that situation right now, hold on- it’s not the end of the world. Here are some tips and ways to get over those toxic feelings and painful memories so you can be yourself and feel alive again.
1. Let it all out and then let it all go.
When you have decided that you’re going to get over him/her let all your feelings out. All the pain, hatred, frustration, everything! Remember, it’s okay not to be okay. Grieving is part of the process. It’s normal because you’ve given all your time and love for someone. Don’t hold it in, it’s part of your journey in getting over him/her.
2. Do not isolate yourself.
When you’re dealing with a heartbreak, it’s best if you do not go through that process alone, and remember that you don’t have to be alone. You have your friends and family who are there to support and love you even when you are in that situation. It’s a good thing to vent out your feelings with them, they will have a different take and will surely give you pieces of advice that will help you get over that heartbreak. It will make the process easier knowing that there’s someone who knows what you’re feeling and what’s going in your head.
3. Stop all communication you have with your ex.
I know this is easier said than done but this is a big factor in the process of moving on. This is not a sign of being bitter, but it’s only a way of preventing you from stalking his/her profile for updates about his/her life. Or even starting a conversation with your ex again. You’re doing this for the better and having peace within yourself.
Also, get rid of the things that remind you of them. It will just let you remember your memories with that person and hurt you even more. It will keep you from thinking about your ex often and the feelings you had for that person.
4. Distract yourself.
Distracting yourself by doing productive things that will improve your skills and talents is also one way of getting over your ex. Learning something new like painting or going on an adventure are ways of keeping yourself busy. Even hanging out with your friends or family can be one too. Catch up with them and enjoy their company. It will keep you from thinking about him and isolating yourself to the world.
5. Travel to new places.
Exploring and traveling to new places can help you feel alive again. Not only will you experience a new kind of adventure, but you get to meet new people, you will also get to discover and see the beautiful wonders of the world. This will make you appreciate life even more.
6. Know that you are loved.
Having a mindset that you are still loved even though your relationship with someone ended, is a fantastic way to get over a breakup no matter how bad it is. It is just a phase in your life that you have to get through. Take it as a lesson to become the best version of yourself. You are surrounded by people who love and care for you. Your ex might leave you, but your friends and especially your family will always be there no matter what happens.
7. Stop blaming yourself.
No matter what the reason is, it’s not entirely your fault that your relationship ended, stop blaming yourself for what happened. Both of you had your shortcomings so do not take all the blame. Know hat you’re not the only who’s in a relationship. No one is perfect so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Probably the best tip in this list is this one. Praying to God and surrendering it all to Him who knows you more than anyone is the best decision you’ll make. He cares and loves you so much and he’s the only one who will never leave you nor forsake you. He is our refuge and strength. Just lay all your sadness, problems and pain on Him and let God work in your life.
Matthew 11:28-30 says that “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”; that shows how God can comfort us and take whatever it that we are feeling. All we have to do is have faith and believe in Him.
It is not easy getting over with someone whom you’ve shared your life with. But it’s not the end of the road for you. The only thing that’s constant in life is change. Every one of us knows how it feels to be heartbroken but not every one of us knows how to deal with it. So it’s important to learn these things to help you become the best version of who you are. As what I’ve always adviced with my friends who are going through that situation,”Moving on is a process, it might be hard but you’ll eventually surpass it. Just have faith and trust the process. It will all be worth it in the end.”
So for you who’s currently in that situation right now, hang tight. You can and you will get over it. Just like a sprained ankle or any kind of physical injury, this will not heal overnight. Time heals all wounds, remember that all will be alright in time.
ALSO READ: 100 Tips on How to Move on after a Breakup