Do you have a best friend? And if you have, who is it? How about a brother? Can you consider him a best friend or not?
Some people wish they had no siblings, while others believe that the more they have, the merrier. When siblings get along with each other in a family, they create perfect harmony and happiness in the house. On the other hand, when siblings do not have smooth relations, it could result in stressful home life.
So, how can you generate a harmonious relationship with your brother and make him your best friend? Listed below are 12 viable ways to make this happen.
1. Learn to accept your differences.
We all have differences – even twins are not entirely alike. No matter if you are blood-related, you and your brother still have different opinions, personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. Your skills and talents may not be similar to his too. Thus, it is not surprising that you find it hard to understand his thoughts and behavior.
That is why you should accept and love your brother with all your heart, despite his flaws and deficiencies. When you understand that you are both unique, it is easier to embrace him for who he is. Know that there is a reason why he became your brother. Your weakness can be his strength and the other way around. Help him reach his highest potential, and he will do the same for you in return.
2. Let your temper cool down whenever there is a conflict.
Fights may start from small arguments. Although it is hard to prevent fighting back, especially if your brother is the one who initiates it, try to take a deep breath and cool down your temper.
Whenever you are talking with him, be careful of particular topics that may lead to argumentative discussions. Improve the communication between you by thinking first before saying anything. Avoid saying something that you would later regret. You may excuse yourself and get out of the room immediately if you could not control your temper anymore.
3. Forget all hurts in the past.
You may have awful childhood memories with him, but what had happened in the past should not dictate your relationship with him now. Learn to release those heavy loads you have been carrying throughout these years. Even if he used to mistreat you before, let the healing flow from your heart. Learn to forgive and let go of negative experiences. Start over and embrace the new season you have with him.
4. Say ‘sorry’ when you commit an offense against him.
Asking for an apology will make a difference as you cultivate a better relationship with him. Do not let your pride prevail. Admit any offense that you have done against him and sincerely apologize. It goes the same if he is the one who committed the wrongdoing. Receive his forgiveness and assure him that his apology is accepted.
Develop your listening skills to build the kind of friendship with your brother that will last. Let him talk whenever he wants to share something. Avoid any interruption and listen until he is finished. Let him know that you listened to him by adding up your own opinions and ideas to what he just said.
6. Respect his opinions, personal properties, and privacy.
Respect is essential between siblings too. Do not argue with him just because you do not like his opinions. Ask his permission first before using his belongings. Do not bother him when he needs time of solitude. If you are living under one roof, knock first upon entering his room. If he lives in another house with his family, notify him in advance whenever you plan to visit. No matter how close you are, know that some things have boundaries.
7. Be more vocal in showing your appreciation.
Let your brother know that you appreciate him by putting it into words. At first, it may sound awkward. However, it is one way to build a strong connection with him. Sometimes, he cannot predict your thoughts and feelings toward him. Telling him that he is valued and thanking him for all his efforts will display your brotherly love.
8. Be happy with all his achievements.
Do you celebrate the achievements of your brother? If yes, how? Letting your brother know that you are happy with his accomplishments is vital. Show affirmations that you are proud of him.
9. Show support when he needs motivation and encouragement.
Your support matters to him. Whether he is young or in the stage of adulthood, there are times when he still needs pieces of advice. As you motivate and encourage him, there is reassurance that he is not alone in all his endeavors.
For instance, he could be nervous about his upcoming performance, so you would need to boost his confidence. If you could not be there personally to watch him perform, you could text or message him in advance. Tell him how excited you are about that “big event.” You can also show support by being there at momentous events of his life, such as birthdays, anniversaries, and other meaningful occasions.
10. Plan activities that you both love.
Identify the activities that you both love. It is always best to spend time together through an activity you can enjoy. It can be playing a specific sport, overhauling a broken appliance or gadget, having a camping trip, movie marathon, or learning to play musical instruments. Plan activities that you can do on a weekly, monthly, and yearly basis.
Additionally, you may try the activities he loves doing even if you do not like them. Ask him what activities he enjoys. It will make him realize that you are concerned with his interests too.
Do not be too selfish in sharing your personal belongings. Let your brother know that he can borrow your stuff – of course, with your permission. If he forgets to borrow in the first place, remind him to ask permission next time and calm yourself not to burst into anger. It is important to be generous in sharing your space and stuff with him.
Also, do not hesitate to share your plans and goals in life. By doing this, he may do the same too. It is a perfect way to develop good communication and keep in touch with each other.
12. Pray hard.
Getting close to your brother can be a struggle. It may come to a point when you want to give up, especially if you feel your efforts are not appreciated. Or he probably turns his back on you whenever you reach out to him. You maybe realize that it seems impossible to build a stronger connection with him.
When you are about to give up, remember the power of prayer. Only God can change your brother’s calloused heart. Or perhaps it is your heart that needs change. Keep in mind that nothing is impossible with God. Deliver all your deepest desires and requests before Him. You might be amazed at how your prayers and secret petitions will be answered.
The relationship you have with your brother may be quite challenging, but exerting more effort to making it better is truly rewarding. He can be the reliable best friend you would ever need.
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