What are the qualities of a good husband? Does your ideal life partner need to have a good job, an inexhaustible bank account, or an undying love?
Whether you’re a single lady who is looking for the right husband, a married woman who wants to inspire her husband to be a better one, a single guy who wants to be the best husband to his future wife, or a married man who aspires to be a good husband to his wife… this article is for you.
32 Qualities of a Good Husband
Let this list of qualities guide your marriage, family, and life as a whole.
He gives you the affection you deserve as his wife. He likes you, he’s fond of you, he kisses and embraces you – he’s sweet and romantic to you no matter how many years have passed.
He doesn’t rely on his parents or your parents to provide you and your children with food, shelter, and other needs as a family. He works hard to give you a home you can call your own.
He is reliable, has initiative, and knows how to guide and lead your family to the right path. When you are with him, you know that you could never be lost in life. This is why you are willing to submit yourself to him as his wife. He is also a good role model for your children.
He doesn’t cheat. He doesn’t flirt with other women. He is scared of losing you.
You don’t have to worry about him, because you know that he can take care of himself. He loves himself as he loves you and your family. He strives to be happy and healthy so he can always be there for you and your children.
He has confidence in you. He doesn’t treat you like someone who is a cheater and cannot be trusted. He also entrusts you with all his property, money, and recurring salary.
In connection with #6, he actually trusts you because he knows you better than anyone else. He exerted efforts to know you. He knows your favorite color, music, food, place – and he also knows your attitude and everything about you. He is always interested to know you.
He is honest and transparent. He trusts you and you can also trust him in return.
He doesn’t forget to thank you. He appreciates even the little things you do for him. And because of that, you are more inspired to serve and love him because you know that your efforts will not be wasted.
He doesn’t get easily angry with you, your kids, and other people. He doesn’t get easily upset when there are problems or troubles. He can tolerate pain or endure suffering because he is aware that all of them are just trials that should make him stronger rather than weaker.
He is persistent and consistent. He never stops until he achieves his dream for you and your family. He is not discouraged and he doesn’t give up even if his several attempts fail. He will continue no matter how hard or how long it will take to provide your family a brighter future.
He has self-discipline. He knows how to control himself to avoid gluttony, drunkenness, idleness, lust, and other vices that will put your lives in misery.
He can discern what’s right from wrong. He’s not an ignorant fool who continues to commit wrongdoings, such as lying, cheating, being irresponsible, being lazy and thinking that those are just okay.
He understands you. He understands himself. He understands what he says. He understands his choices or decisions. He has understanding because he practices and experiences what he preaches.
He understands you because he is compassionate. He feels your happiness, thus, he wants you to stay happy. He also feels your sadness and suffering, thus, he wants to do everything to ease your pain.
He is not vengeful. He doesn’t record and look back on your past mistakes. He knows how to forgive, forget, and forward to live a happy life with you and your children.
He rejects evil. He departs from sins, malevolence, and corruption. He does what is right, and that is why he is blessed. His righteous actions bring good karma to you and your children’s lives.
He is fair and just. He will never make you feel that life with him is so unfair.
He respects you as a woman. Though they may be different from his, he respects your own opinions and decisions. He also knows how to respect himself.
He is happy and content with you. For him, you are his dream come true. He never wishes to have other wives or mistresses. He never envies other men, because, for him, he feels like he is the luckiest man on Earth because he has you.
He has a sense of sacrifice. He thinks about you and your children first before himself. He gives up his own things for you. He spends his money, time and energy for the whole family, not only for himself. You won’t find any reason to call him a selfish person.
He is a God-fearing person. He obeys God’s commandments and practices His teachings in life. He brings you and your kids closer to God.
He always sees a good future with you no matter how difficult the present is. He doesn’t easily lose hope in you despite your weaknesses and shortcomings. He always gives you good and positive vibes that help your home and family become happier, more confident, and always keep going no matter how difficult life is.
He is faithful to you. He believes in you. He doesn’t need to see you all the time to trust you. He doesn’t need to know everything about you to be confident with you. His faith is in action – his faithfulness makes him listen to you, love you, and sacrifice for you.
He works hard for you. He is motivated to work to build a brighter future for your children. He doesn’t waste time but continuously and passionately do his job or livelihood so that your family will always have something to reap in the future.
He is a kind-hearted man. He always wants to help you and see you smile. He is not rude. He doesn’t want to cause you any physical, mental and emotional harm.
He is gentle with your mind, heart, and body. When you commit mistakes, he rebukes you gently and calmly, not furiously.
He doesn’t like quarrels and petty fights. He doesn’t argue with you when you are not in a good mode. He gives you time and space whenever you need them. He finds the right time to talk and listen to you to resolve issues so both of you can have a good night’s sleep.
He is not proud and arrogant. He is a strong person mentally, emotionally and spiritually – and that is why he can afford to go low to overcome pride and encourage kindness, peace, and happiness to the people around him.
He accepts you for who you are. He doesn’t judge you. He doesn’t force you to become a person that you aren’t. However, he continues to inspire you to grow as a better person. He inspires you to change for the better by doing and showing you the change he wants you to be.
He supports you in your endeavors to be a better and more successful woman. He also supports your children in their own choices in life as long as he sees them be righteous and make them truly happy.
32. True love
Finally, he is truly in love with you. He knows it, he is sure about it, he feels it, and he always tells you about his true feelings even in random times and places.
The qualities of a good husband which I’ve just mentioned above may be hard to find among men. However, if a man is truly in love with a woman or his wife, he will strive to develop those qualities above. Besides, isn’t true love binds all of them in perfect unity, is it?
How to be a Good Husband
Marriage is not just a legal agreement but a lifelong commitment. When you marry someone, you promise with all your heart and mind that you will be with your spouse and cherish your love for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, as long as you live.
The reality is that wedding vows are not easy to keep. You can always wear your wedding ring to show your loyalty to your spouse, but keeping such loyalty in your heart, mind, and deeds is another story. Marriage is not all about symbols and ceremonies but it’s about actions and practices.
If you love your wife, you have to show her that you are trying to be a good and even a better husband every day. Yes, it’s easier said than done. But if you know what to do, you can already start setting your direction to that goal now. If you don’t have any idea how to be a better spouse, here are 30 ways to be a good husband to guide you.
1. Love your wife as you love yourself.
When you get married, you and your wife become one flesh. Hence, you should love your wife as you love yourself – you should take care of your wife as yourself. Never hurt your wife; never hurt yourself. Remember that you cannot love your wife if you can’t love yourself. And you can’t love yourself if you can’t even love your wife.
In other words, if you love your wife, love your body. Don’t be a drunkard or a glutton. Don’t put yourself in sickness and serious danger. Live a healthy lifestyle. When you’re healthy, your wife will surely be happy as she will not be worried about you.
2. Enjoy the food she cooks.
As long as it is not poisonous or harmful to your health, then enjoy and appreciate the food she cooks or bakes. You can be honest about the taste – it will help her improve. But no matter how it tastes, don’t stop appreciating her.
3. Master the art of keeping oneself calm.
Love is patient. Hence, if you want to be a good husband, grow your patience every day. Learn how to control your anger and keep yourself calm no matter what. In times of fighting and arguments, be mature and be the bringer of calmness and peace.
4. Be a great leader by being a great servant.
Men are supposed to lead their own wives. But how can you make your wife trust and follow you if you are not responsible and reliable? Thus, show your wife that you can be trusted. Show her that you are a reliable leader.
A reliable leader is someone who leads by actions, not by mere talks. He is not bossy. He doesn’t lead by simply giving instructions but a servant leader who leads by example.
5. Be a better son-in-law and sibling-in-law.
If you want to have a happier and stronger marriage, do your best to make your wife’s parents and siblings happy. Remember that you have already become a part of their family, and as a member of their family, you have to create a harmonious relationship with them.
If you love your wife but hate her family, and if you are kind and generous to your wife but you are rude to her family, then what kind of a man are you?
6. Swallow your pride.
Pride ruins relationships. It causes petty fights and wastes quality time in your marriage. If you want to be a better spouse, be a more humble person. Whether it’s your fault or hers, always be the first to offer peace and ask for forgiveness. Be down to Earth so you can raise your wife and your marriage.
ALSO READ: 7 Ways to be Humble in a Relationship
7. Remember the important dates.
Don’t forget your wedding anniversary, her birthday, and other days which are special to her. And aside from remembering them, give something that will surprise your wife and make her happy on that very special day.
8. Be loyal.
Never ever cheat. It’s not only unethical but also illegal in certain countries. Keep your marriage vow, not only because you don’t like to be imprisoned or be fined, but definitely because you simply love your wife and you want her to have a partner who loves her and only her.
9. Keep your eyes only on her.
It may be difficult to do but the eye is the lamp of the body (read Matthew 6:22-24) and it is also considered as the window to your soul. Thus, if you want to be the best husband to your wife, don’t let your eyes sin. It may be your eyes that are only sinning, but over time, it may reach and corrupt your soul. Hence, the best way to prevent yourself from cheating is to prevent it before it reaches your eyes.
10. Continue to woo her.
Keep the romance and sweetness alive no matter how many years you’ve been married to her. Date her, write love notes for her, and treat her like a queen or a princess. Instead of overthinking if she still loves you, focus on making her fall in love with you over and over again.
11. Respect her.
Always respect your wife. Remember that she’s your wife. Hence, you should respect everything about her, her opinions, her rights, your relationship with her, her motherhood to your children, and even her husband – yourself. Don’t stop respecting her, even if you think she doesn’t deserve it.
12. Just trust her.
Girls want their guys to trust them. They don’t like you to think of negative things about them. They don’t want men to treat them as a dirty and untrustworthy person. Hence, if you don’t have any proof that your wife cannot be trusted, then just trust her and stop getting insecure or paranoid.
13. Focus on making yourself trustworthy.
Instead of doubting your wife too much and letting yourself get paranoid, concentrate on building your wife’s trust in you. Focus on proving yourself to her that you can be trusted. Build trust in your marriage by starting to build it from yourself.
14. Keep no record of wrongs.
Did your wife make mistakes in the past? Don’t bring up those issues again just to defend yourself when you fight. Move on from the past, especially if the two of you have already resolved them and you have already forgiven her. Bringing up past issues only creates endless arguments.
15. Celebrate your love with the truth.
Marriage is happier and healthier when couples have nothing to hide from each other. Hence, let the truth prevails in your relationship. Be transparent and honest always. Tell your big secrets so you can set yourself free and continue to love without holding on to lies.
16. Give time and space.
There are women who don’t like to talk when they are mad at you. If you’re the kind of a man who wants to resolve issues in your relationship immediately but your partner is not, then don’t force her to talk. Learn to give her some time and space to cool down and reflect on the issues. Be patient and understanding.
17. Learn how to save money.
Stop drinking too much alcohol and eating too much meat. Stop smoking, gambling and other vices. Stop buying unessential things. Save money and work harder to grow your income and wealth. This will surely make your wife and children happy.
18. Build your own home.
It is important that you have your own home. You don’t need to build a mansion, but a decent house, whether owned or leased, that will give you and your wife independence from your parents will certainly help your marriage and family grow.
ALSO READ: 21 Qualities of a Good Husband in the Bible
19. Be a good father.
Mothers have pure love for their children. If you want to be a good husband, be a good father. Being a good parent is not only about giving everything that your children need or want. To be a good dad, you have to teach your children a sense of discipline. To inspire them, be a role model by having self-discipline.
20. Be selfless.
Have a sense of sacrifice. Show your wife and children that you can sacrifice things for them. Reschedule that business meeting to attend your daughter’s school stage performance. Cancel that basketball game with your gang to give way to a romantic dinner date with your wife. Stay healthy and don’t get sick, so you will always be available to your family.
21. Be grateful.
Be thankful for the love and care your wife is giving you. Tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her how lucky and blessed you are to have her in your life. Remove any envy in your heart. Do not compare your wife or your married life to others out there. Be happy and content.
22. Be kind and gentle.
You should not only be gentle with your wife physically but also emotionally and mentally. Most couples have opposite attitudes and ways of life. If you want your wife to change into a better person, don’t force and rush her – it’s so stressful. Just be gentle and let her feel a kind and warm environment. You will be surprised how it will help her change for the better.
Speaking of kindness and gentleness, don’t force your wife to have sex with you. Although she has a marital obligation with you, it’s still better if you can ensure that both of you enjoy it. If she’s always not in the mood, then you have to be creative and do something to get her in the mood.
23. Be a better listener.
Don’t talk too much. Be a good husband by listening more often to your wife. Be a better husband by doing something based on what you have listened to. If you hear problems from your wife, help her solve them. If you hear her asking something from you, provide it to her. Remember that a better listener is not a mere listener, but a doer.
24. Know her.
What’s her favorite color, food, flower, place, movie, or song? What makes her so happy or sad? What are her goals and dreams in life? What does she want you to become? You should know those things in order to love her and make her happy. Take note that knowing is loving.
25. Understand her.
Whether it’s pain or joy, feel what she feels. Let her realize that you also feel sad when she’s sad – and happy when she’s happy. Let her realize that your hearts are connected and will never be apart. Don’t kill her simple joys in life. If she enjoys singing, join her even though it’s awkward and she’s out of tune.
26. Protect her.
Be her hero. Protect her not only from physical danger but also from mental, emotional, and even spiritual dangers. In other words, don’t give her mental stress, don’t break her heart, and don’t bring her into temptations. Bring her closer to God.
27. Support her.
She loves to cook and dreams to own her own restaurant? Help her fulfill her dream. Does she love being a stay-at-home mom but get too tired of taking care of your house and children? Give your wife a good massage to help her relax and refresh at night.
28. Be hopeful.
Hope is when you continue to be confident of the future despite your present struggles. To be a better husband, don’t just hope, but be hopeful. In other words, be full of hope no matter how difficult your present struggles are. Don’t tell your wife she’s hopeless when she struggles to change for the better. Don’t say that your marriage is hopeless when both of you are still together trying to save your relationship. Remember that as long as you live there is hope.
29. Be faithful.
Faith substantiates our hope. To be a great spouse, you should not only hope but also do something to strengthen your hope. Hoping that your wife will change into a better person without supporting and inspiring her is having hope without faith. Hoping that your relationship will last without stopping yourself from lying and cheating doesn’t make you faithful either.
Do something to validate your hope – this is what faithfulness is all about!
30. Show her what true love really is.
Finally, to be a great husband to your spouse, let her experience what true love is. You can show your true love by doing your best to follow the tips above. It really is difficult to be a great or even just a good husband. But if you truly love your wife, you can sacrifice great things to transform yourself to be a better person so you can be a better husband to your wife and a better father to your children.
When you love truly, you produce life’s greatest virtues, such as patience, kindness, compassion, gentleness, humility, and self-control. Therefore, no matter how difficult it is to be a better spouse, as long as you have true love in your heart for your wife, becoming a better husband will just come naturally.
ALSO READ: 21 Ways to be a Better Wife
How to Be a Good Dad
If you want to be a good husband, be a good father!
Some think that it is only the responsibility of mothers to raise up the children, while the fathers’ duty is only to provide for their needs. However, this is not true. Dads need to have active participation in the lives of their kids too. This will have a positive impact on them as they grow up.
So, how can you be a good dad? If you are a new father and you are still groping in the dark, here are some effective ways to do it.
1. Be a good provider.
Most families nowadays have both parents working already for better financial security. Regardless of whether your kids’ mother is working or not, make sure that you are doing your part well. Even if your salary is not so big, as long as you are making every effort to meet their needs, surely your kids will appreciate it.
2. Spend time with your children regularly.
Make most of the time that your children are still young. Time will come when they will have lives of their own and you’d miss them around. That is why, no matter how busy you are at work, make time to bond with them. I appreciate one dad I had talked with before who told me he spends thirty minutes with each of his kids every day.
3. Be available to them.
Whenever your kids invite you to watch their class recital, attend their graduation, or any event they consider special, don’t miss it. Whenever they are sick or simply needing someone to talk to, be available. Your presence is important to make your children feel secure.
4. Set a good example.
If you don’t want your children to acquire vices, like smoking and liquor drinking, then don’t have them too. If you want them to be courteous, hardworking, and disciplined, then be their role model. The best way to teach your kids something is by showing it to them.
5. Be firm with house rules.
If you set house rules, such as a curfew, television watching schedules, and house chores assignments, be firm and consistent with them. Do not give in to whims and excuses (unless valid). Make corresponding consequences for failures to follow these rules. For instance, those who come home beyond the curfew would be grounded for the entire weekend.
6. Be patient with them.
It is normal for children to be annoying at times. Nevertheless, no matter how much they are getting on your nerves, do not lose your patience with them. Never hit them out of anger because that would be physical abuse. Yes, I believe spanking may be used for discipline, but it should not be too hard, must be done reasonably, and should be explained to the kids why they had to get it.
7. Don’t be too tough.
Discipline must be instilled in the family, but I don’t think being too strict on your kids would help. They may obey you now out of fear, but by the time they get the chance to be free, they would break loose from the rules you had set. A lot of friends I knew who had come from strict families ended up very liberated.
8. Correct their mistakes.
As a parent, it is your responsibility to make sure your children will grow up as upright and good citizens. Therefore, as early as now, do not be complacent in correcting them when they misbehave. For instance, if you hear them cursing, you must immediately address it by explaining why it is bad and warning them of getting punished if you hear it again.
ALSO READ: 20 Inspiring Ways to be a Good Parent
9. Learn to listen to them.
Yes, parents may know better, but to avoid your kids from getting distant from you, learn to listen to their reasons. You may be the head of the family, but your children have their own thoughts. Before grounding or scolding them for something they have done, let them explain themselves first. Then, if their reason is not valid, you may proceed with the consequence.
10. Be supportive of their dreams.
Instead of pushing your children to pursue a career of your choice, let them follow their passion. Encourage them to take up a college degree or a job after their own heart. This way, they will have a better chance of succeeding in their chosen fields because they are happy with what they do.
11. Allow them to decide for themselves.
As young as they are, teach your kids to be independent and decisive. They should learn to decide on what they want, such as the meal to order or the color of shoes to buy. When they grow up, they will not be easily bossed around by the people surrounding them.
12. Show that you are proud of them.
Your appreciation as a dad is a big deal to your children. Let them know how much you are proud of them. Appreciate them in front of other people and never compare them to other children. These will help boost their self-esteem.
13. Love their mom.
One of the ways to be a good father is by loving and respecting the mother of your kids. With the growing number of broken families in society, your children may have anxiety that your family may break apart too. Protect them from this fear by showing them that your marriage is built on a strong foundation of love.
14. Stand as the spiritual leader of the family.
As the head of the family, one of your primary responsibilities is leading your children to follow the Lord. Set an example of how a godly lifestyle should be lived. Lead them through family devotions and prayer time. Make it a habit of going to the church as a family as well.
It is not easy to be a father, and sometimes, the responsibilities that come with this role become hard to bear. However, for the love of your family, strengthen your will, plan for the future, and with the help of God and your wife, strive to be the best dad that you can be.
Qualities of a Good Husband in the Bible
3. Loyalty and commitment
6. Trust and confidence
16. Good influence
21. True love
Please visit Qualities of a Good Husband in the Bible for the details.
Online courses recommended for you:
- How to Become a Good and Godly Husband:
how to love your wife in the ways she feels your love.
- Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
this course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Books recommended for you:
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Gift ideas to show your love to your husband:
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