14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back

woman waiting in bench

One of the hardest things about moving on from a breakup is accepting that the person who used to be the center of your world does not want to be part of your life anymore. The difficult part is when you are left hanging because you are not sure whether to wait or not.

However, knowing that your ex does not want you back should push you to move on, no matter how hard it is. If you do not do it, you will end up being pathetic from wallowing with bitterness while your ex is freely enjoying his/her new life.

Signs Your Ex is Over You Video


14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back

Here are 14 signs that may help you realize if it is worth hoping for a reconciliation:

1. Your ex does not respond to your calls or messages.

This one is normal if s/he does not answer your calls and messages days after your breakup. Maybe, s/he needs time and space. However, if after weeks and months, your ex does not even bother to ‘seenzone’ your messages on Messenger, and s/he never pick up even if you call every day, then it is clear the person does not want to communicate with you anymore.

2. You get blocked or s/he changes mobile number.

When you get blocked on Facebook and his/her phonebook, it means your ex does not want you to reach out to him/her anymore. S/he may even change contact details to make sure you cannot contact him/her. When this happens, respect the person’s privacy and stop looking for ways to communicate.

3. All your stuff is returned.

Usually, it is hard to return your ex’s things after a breakup if you still love the person because doing so is like letting the person go for good. That is why, if your ex gives you the stuff you gave him/her, it could be a sign that s/he is already letting you go.

4. Your efforts are taken for granted.

If you are still doing everything to win your ex back after weeks or months, but it seems like s/he does not care about it, then you better stop. You are only making a fool of yourself. If the person still wants you back, s/he would not ignore you for a long time because s/he could not withstand taking you for granted.

5. Your ex does not make any effort to reconcile.

If over the weeks and months, your ex never makes any effort to win you back or at least express how s/he misses you, then it is a clear sign. The person does not want to take any step that can rekindle your affection for each other because s/he wants complete freedom from you.

6. S/he tells you, ‘I’m tired’ with a sigh.

When a person gets tired of a relationship, s/he would not be eager to keep it anymore. So, if your ex does not want to get back together, and s/he tells you s/he got tired already, then stop pushing for it. You better give him/her space and time to rest.

Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back
Photo by dima_goroziya

7. The family does not welcome you anymore.

Usually, if you are welcome in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s home, you become part of the family. So, whenever you two fight, they would tell you to reconcile. They would even back you up to win him/her again. However, if this time the family is already cold to you, maybe it is because your ex made it clear to them that s/he does not want to be back with you anymore.

8. Ex is not interested to see you.

If your ex still cares for you, then s/he would be dying to see you again if given a chance. However, if your ex never gives in after several invitations to dinner or coffee, it means s/he is not interested in meeting up with you.

9. Ex seems irritated and unexcited to see you.

What about accidentally bumping into each other? If your ex seems unexcited and annoyed seeing you after weeks or months of being separated, it means s/he is not interested in hearing you or seeing you anymore. If the person still cares, that moment would be special and emotional for him/her.

10. S/he freely posts about a new date on social media.

Even if you already broke up, if your ex still loves you, s/he would not want you to be hurt. The person would not do anything that would push you away completely because of s/he hopes for reconciliation. Nevertheless, if s/he is dating someone else already, and s/he is open to the public about it, then that means you are out of the picture. It is like saying s/he is free, single, and available to like anyone.

11. S/he does not care if you date someone new.

In the same way, if your ex does not seem to care if you find someone new already, then it means s/he is already over you. If s/he still cares, s/he would normally directly or indirectly express anger or bitterness. S/he could confront you about it, and may even cause him/her to realize and admit that s/he is afraid to lose you to someone else.

Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back
Photo by Anemone123

12. You are told you deserve someone better.

This line is a cliché usually used when dumping someone. Normally, this is an excuse used by a person to free himself/herself from the guilt of causing pain to someone. One who truly loves his/her partner would do his/her best to deserve that person. So, if your ex keeps on using this on you whenever you try to get back with him/her, then you have to think twice.

13. S/he seems happy and content with their present life.

If breaking up with you was not a loss for your ex, then it would show in his/her aura. Yes, it is normal that s/he misses you, but if s/he seems to get by with peace and joy without you, then maybe s/he thinks the breakup was a good decision. You can tell this if s/he does not look stressed, gloomy, and lifeless— the usual signs when a person is going through a tough time.

14. You are not chosen.

If there is a need to choose between you and another person, whoever gets chosen is clearly the one holding your ex’s heart. If the other person gets picked over you, then you know the answer to the question of whether your ex is over you or not.

14 Signs Your Ex Is Waiting for You

1. Following your online activities
2. Having nostalgic conversations
3. Reaching out from time to time
4. Staying a bit longer to talk each time you see each other
5. Showing signs of emptiness/loneliness
6. Trying to patch things up
7. Maintaining communication with your friends and family
8. Showing that s/he misses you
9. S/he is backed up by friends
10. Available to help you out
11. Approaching you when s/he has problems
12. Her/his eyes are glued to you
13. Becoming less social
14. Still single after a long time

Please visit signs that your ex still loves you and waiting for you for the details.

It is okay

Life does not end when your ex’s affection for you ends. There are still a lot of reasons to go on with life. Do not focus on your loss. Instead, be thankful for the blessings you receive and value the people who continue to be there for you.

You may also read these articles to find the right person to marry:

Online courses recommended for you:

Books recommended for you


14 Signs Your Ex Still Loves You and Wants You Back

10 Reasons Why You Can’t Move On From Your Ex

22 Ways to Live Your Life to the Fullest While Being Single

Photo by Olichel Adamovich

Cyril Abello
Cyril is a personal development blogger and content writer. She is also an online language teacher. She has a degree in Communication Arts and loves everything about writing. Being a full-time mom, she enjoys freelancing.

69 thoughts on “14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back”

  1. I cheated on my girlfriend and she left me I have tried everything and I think she is seeing someone now and it hurts how could I cheat on someone I love I really love her but she is gone blocked any communication with me I am sorry I cheated but the pain I am in .I am really a bad person

  2. I have an ex that just couldn’t get over me, and I just friend zoned him. After we broke up (about 2 years ago) he still wouldn’t leave me alone. It went on for 6 months from the time we broke up when he still wouldn’t leave me alone. When I told him that I would just be his friend (later finding out that it was a really stupid idea), but I will still need my space. He didn’t respect that at all, he would stalk me, try to get a hold of me through college email, contact my phone with a different phone number, etc. To keep this short, out of all the things that he wanted (stay in contact, second chance, “pity me”, etc) , which is why I am still “friends” with the dude. This has been going on for about a year now, he wants to talk almost every day (so I just gave him what he wanted). I just can’t wait till I get a new phone number soon 🙂 Hopefully getting a new phone number would fix many issues.

    By the way, this was a little difficult for me, honestly I didn’t know what I was thinking at all. Yes, first “love” was hard, especially since it’s the first relationship and don’t know what to expect.

    • By the way, I have found this article in hopes of bringing it to my ex’s attention so he can get the hint that I am not into him anymore. It was an interesting article and shed light for me so that when I find that someone and know whats up and whats going on so I don’t dwell with a broken heart.

  3. my ex tells me he doesnt want to get back together but he tries to talk to me often and gets upset because he thinks i dont want to talk to him. he said he wants me to approach him and talk confidently and not feel negative about myself but when i try to go up to him it feels like he wants to walk away. he still wears my clothes and still contacts me every single day but when my friend asked him why he didn’t want to get back with me he said he didnt think its worth trying. i really want him back.

    • JUST THEN he did say he’ll consider it though. he said hes not interested in a relationship currently because he wants to focus on his life

  4. That’s so sad. Why even be in a relationship if your just going to be evil the whole time. Men like you should be single forever.

  5. I’m stuck on the fence. I had to break up with my boyfriend because he was emotionally cheating on me with his ex. After a week I realized that I could have tried to fix the situation; that I could have responded differently. Yet now only two weeks since the break up he is dating his ex. I am friends with her too and he still wants me in his life as a friend. I have realized that I care that he is happy even though it might mean I’m part of it. now I have realized that if its meant to be than destiny will bring us back.

  6. Experiences like this have made me into a very cold and callous person. I avoid people at all costs. I am unable to trust a woman in any capacity. I still talk to my current ex, but as time goes on I find myself feeling more and more bitter. I get angry at the person…then they pull the abuse card for even confronting them.

    If I ever saw either of my first two exes I would spit in their faces. I hate them with a passion (whenenever I think about them). That’s easy to deal with.

    My current ex, however, is a more complicated situation. We both have mental health issues and became very enmeshed. I’m torn between wanting to reconcile and wanting to just walk away. If I’m honest, I will try to reconcile until there is no doubt that its over.

    Even if the other person doesn’t respond to it, its about the principle of the thing. I won’t reduce myself to being a petty, vindictive guy who hates women. I’ve been in that place for a long time.

    And if you love someone you’ll set them free, right? Is that true or just a cliche?

    • I think it’s just a cliche. Most people love themselves above all others and if you set someone you “love” free, that means you don’t really care what happens to them anymore (whether they live or die, get sick, etc!) You also won’t be there during the happy and proud moments of their life. Basically, you won’t see them be happy anymore (at least not in the true genuine sense!). You may see them “happy” if you stalk them on Facebook or something, but that’s only the surface. You will NEVER get to know them in an intimate way anymore. You will NEVER get to be physically intimate with them either anymore. Now call me crazy but only a masochist would want to put themselves in a torturing position like that! I’d say if they don’t fight for your love, then yes it is really unfortunately over. We only have one life, why live another minute without their love and commitment if it was indeed a good kind of love??!! Love is special and doesn’t happen “too often”. The real kind that is. Why throw that all away if you could help it??!

  7. So my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He said he doesn’t feel anything for me. It’s hurt so bad. One day I’m okay, but the next day I feel so bad.. I don’t know how to bring him back. He still looks at my story even if he don’t go to instagram. And I do stupid things, because I can’t control myself. Every day I stalk him if he is online or he post something. After a week after break up we talked like a good friend and of course we had sex. I don’t know if that was a good thing or not. We lived together. I want him back soo bad… What should I do? Should I wait 2 weeks and then try to text him? He wanted to chat like a good friends, but I kept ignoring him then he texted me. Maybe I should chat with him?

  8. We are still living together and neither of us has said its over, but I just know in my heart that it is. We have not spoken to each other for almost 2months now. I just dont have the straight to ask him whats happening. Sum signs are there from his part and looks like his having a full happy life at this moment. Iam speechless, never thought we would ever be like this looking back.

  9. I cheated on him, and he break up with December, and engaged someone else the same December and posted it on Instagram, when I saw it I didn’t say anything to him, I went on no contact for a month, now his coming back telling me he wants to break up with her, I no he loves me and I love him to, what should I do now please.

  10. My ex and I broke up after almost 20 years of marriage and have 2 younger children together. She cheated multiple times and has never expressed any remorse. I struggled for a 5 plus years to get through the anger and missing my family. I would have done anything to get us back together. I was pathetic. Obviously, I did not know who she really was and she did not care who she destroyed because she is a narcissist and sociopath.
    So what’s going on now? After 3 plus years of counseling I have become indifferent to her and her bs. She can’t figure that out. I let her believe that she has the power but I finally realized that I have the power because she needs my help with the kids financially (above the child support). I don’t hate or love her because that just hurts me and gives her pleasure. That does not mean that I don’t miss the family dynamic in my life but that is just the concept and not about her.
    Bottom line is indifference is liberating. It may take a while but just practice being indifferent, no matter how you feel about it. Over time that practice becomes a habit and that habit becomes a reality.
    I know that sounds like psycho babble but it has worked for me. After 30 years of needing a relationships to feel “whole”, I am now happy by myself and with myself. No one defines me. The only person that deserves me is someone that I choose to be with to add to my life, not be my life.
    If someone walks away from you, they don’t deserve you. Cry your tears and scream. It’s healthy to mourn a dead relationship but get counseling so that you can get past it and move on to a better place.
    If you have kids, focus on them because the pain of watching the parents that they love fighting and breaking up is devastating. Put them first. Help them to heal. Be nice to your ex in front of them not matter how you feel (that’s not easy and it sucks especially when they have hurt you so badly that you can’t breath). Take the high road and watch what happens. It won’t be perfect but no one is happy 100% of the time.
    Life is too short to wallow in the misery of a dead relationship.

  11. its crazy how someone can love you so much one day and the next end it all. But its ok i just want them to find a why to take back every “i love you”, every 5 hour call we had , every movie we watched together, every “i miss you” every adventure we went on together, every kiss, every hug, every christmas we spent together, every laugh we shared, every day, every week, every month,every year. oh wait you cant take that back i will never get that back, and thats hard to think about.

    • It is really crazy.
      Whatever the case, always remember you’re worth it, this is probably just an unpleasant experience but you’d get through it with time.
      Hang in there, free your heart of every hurt and regrets. Embrace the change and live your best life.

  12. I keep on viewing my ex status on WhatsApp but he always post the lady he cheated on me with claiming he really love her. it hurt me alot please guys I need your help,how do I get rid of him,I don’t want to think of him anymore.

  13. I broke up with my ex 3 months ago because he proposed last year however, could not discuss marriage. I know I might have been pushy but I apologised and asked him if we could go for coffee and he said it’s not a good idea. I asked him to give me another chance back into his life and he said he doesn’t know, he really doesn’t know. Do I run after him or do I just accept the fact that he does not want me anymore?

  14. Hey I have being feeling the same way as a lot of you too. My ex broke up with me at the beginning of our senior year at high school because she said she was having a rough time and “didn’t want to bring me down with her.” she also said I deserved someone better but hoped maybe we could be together again some day. I told her I understood, even though I didn’t really agree or trust her reason but i didn’t say that in fear it would destroy her, but I was so afraid that, after all she had told me and sent me that she was gonna either really harm herself or kill herself and I wasn’t going to let that happen, so I stayed with her and tried to be there fro her, show her that someone actually did love her for her. In the end it turned out I had cared ” too much” and she was totally done with me, I tried to say I was sorry and that I was just so hurt and worried about her I didn’t realize I was being a bit to much but she only took it for a bit. In the end without ever even explaining truthfully what was wrong or why I wasn’t good enough after all this time, and all the other terrible moments she had, why that one was so different and I wasn’t good enough to help her. It DESTROYED ME! Now she is with another man who she had a thing for in the past but who just some how got back from being expelled from our school for almost killing a kid…. and I am forced to just sit back and watch as the woman I love looks at me in disgust and hugs her “big, strong man” I feel more alone and worthless than ever and while it has been a few months since she left me I still cant help but feel sorry about myself and totally die inside, people who cared have tried to help me but for some reason I can’t listen and I keep hurting myself because of it. I guess for me it’s just that I must of felt to much and thought she felt the same way. Shame on me for feeling like I had something different and special, and hoping she’d take a guy with a big heart back….

  15. Hiya I had a my centre of attention man for 5 years however truth be told I already lost him and he was not mine to begin with as he is married I didn’t know this at the start , too late into the relationship to back track out of it we had good times and there was some bad just like any other only he seem to think differently that no couple should be always arguing he said I was to much to handle due to my aspergers syndrome I really love him and a part of me still does I sometimes felt like he was not human has in had no emotion didn’t understand of where I was coming from and I tend to get the blame for everything that happened to him he told me I wasn’t humble was not calm and that i couldn’t keep a man yeah maybe that’s true as I dont know how to keep a man and I dont know how to keep quite for example if something needs to be said I say it I Express myself try not to bury my head in the sand tbh everything he blamed me off he was guilty himself off
    I just found out about another girl he is secretly speaking to and she’s sending images of her to him she lives in Jamaica and hes over here in England but the plot thickens he going over there to take over his dads land so we can all see what’s happening there hes got a nice tidy place and girl in tow and hes quite prepared to give up his wife for her too give it two years and things will be on his head tidy such madness I feel like I’m in sum blasted 3 sum but why does it feel so heartbreaking to walk away from ?

  16. We met, was being and living together for 1 month. For some reason I need to go back to my home country. He said he wants to work it out and we will work it out. We had amazing time and I have good relationship with his family too. I booked the flight tickets and will see him for 3 weeks in every 2 months.

    After I backed to my home country, everything was going fine for a month, until both of us are overwhelmed by everything in our lives – relative passed away, study at Uni, New jobs, suicidal friend, and of course the physical distance between us.

    He did the silence treatment to me twice in a month. The first time he said he is not breaking up with me but just don’t know what to do with me. He said he can’t see the future in us even he knows that I will be back there for good next year. He promise me to wait for me until I back there in the end of this month and talk with me face to face. The second time he disappeared with the friend in other state, he was back then he broke up with me saying that he can’t do this anymore and it’s because of distance.

    It hurts a lot when he and his family saying how good I am and I deserve better. I am not good enough to be with him…I guess. All the reasons turned into excuses to me.

    His family check on me if I am okay after the broke up. They are still following on my IG and I don’t know should I block them so I just set up a new account. Last week his sister was desperately want to send me back my stuffs (evidence in court) but I need all of it when I am there 2 weeks later. Not enough time and accessibility for the courier in my country.

    I understand he might moved on so he said we shouldn’t see each other anymore. They have their right to throw away my stuffs but can’t them just help me one last time…? I have explained to them I only want to do the collection. They can just leave it on specific date, time and location and I will arrived there later then will be gone for good. No one needs to see or talk to anyone anymore. but his family insisted to post it to me or leave it in the police station for 20 days. I don’t know if he knows about this. I can’t do much on searching for the place to stay when I am there for the investigation. I was so angry but still ask him to deal with me directly politely. He doesn’t reply.

    Why can they being so rude? If he loved me, he is going to miss me then how can he be so cruel? I don’t even have a chance to pack up my stuffs by myself and don’t even know what did they pack.

    I miss him and I love him. I know I should heal and I hope I can do this. Just don’t know what to do with the collection.

    Thank you for reading this cm anyway:)

  17. My girl came back to me after no contact rule for 1 week now I dint like d way she spoke to me n she was putting me down so I just told
    Don’t talk to me so she blocked me again listening to her mother wat to do pls help me

  18. It was similar to my situation. She said it was just a break. She was seeing someone else tho almost every night. Then she would come back and say she loved me only to disappear Again a couple days later. She did this 4 times, always giving me hope so hard to let go. she now has a restraining order against me. Hurts so much. She seems to do things with the intention of hurting me.

  19. Only reason my wife has moved in and out of the house during our separations is due to her not being finanically stable. She is a workaholic. She is getting her career going, and will eventually be on her own.
    I remember breaking up with an old girlfriend years ago. It took a long time, with no help or guidance , to get over her.
    Now its a little easier. Not easy, just easier.
    She is moving out again this year, right before my B Day.. Good Bye.. I am not going to fret over it or wait. I am just going to get myself financially straight to retire on my own and have a place for the kids and grand kids to call a place to come together.

  20. Move on with your life ,if really you love him pray for him ….n if really he loves you he will surely come back to you before now or he would have explain to you about things …..dear advice you go on with your life remember you deserve better not sorrow….always believe you are the best of your kind …thanks

  21. Sorry about some of the misspelling I type so fast never read over it before I post something sorry about that

  22. I was with the love of my life or 6 years he promised me he would always be there for me an never just walk out on me like the others did I suffer from depression/ bipolar there where days that where bad for me I can’t help that I have this I wish I could just wake up and it all be gone he asked me to merry him I said yes but after a while when I had my bad days he started acting like it was an inconvenience to he there for me I do no for a fact he never cheated on me he was very good to my 11-year-old son treated him like he was is own I did the same by his daughter he never seen the good in me just my bad days an few issues so he kick me out an soda he just can’t handle it after telling me he would handle my bad days and never walk I was so hurt my son was so hurt after that I agreed to be I guess a so call friend for the kids my son and his daughter was very close still are but he seems to want to be there now want to handle me now that we are not together I stay confused because he still calls me baby still says he loves me but when I go to him needing to talk about stuff that effects me things going on in my life it’s always he busy or he says cal you when I can never call only text he does work a lot but really I here him say sorry more then anything I try to do the right thing and be friends not for me and him just for the kids it’s not the kids fault but when we do have arguments he even as a friend act like nothing hurts him I could tell him I’m done good bye and he will say things like do what you got to do or he will tell me I’m done with your bs my bs? All I ever wanted for him is to act like I exist he only acts like I do when he gets his way or when I’m doing something for him I do it because that’s the way I am kind hearted an we was together for 6 years so it’s always been hard for me to let go an just keep the door shut I’m very emotional an I no some people show emotion differently but how can you just let me tell you I’m done I’ve had enough I’m done being your doormat like I tell him for him to have no care in the world I will block him an then here nothing but it’s like he finally hits me up when he wants to say I do love you I do miss you I just can’t take this an that he admits he is weak I have always drop everything an run to him when he needed it even as just a friend but me just wanting to talk to him or hang out with him as friends it’s like I have to wait in line he keeps me so confused an I no this is my fault to cause it’s always sent’s 2017 that’s when we broke you it’s always been so hard to leave him alone I have been single sent’s 2017 I no It’s my fault to for letting him keep hurting me but I can’t tale no more when we don’t have little arguments he is ok but the min something don’t go his way it’s hurtful things like he will tell me things like it is what it is or he will say you will never have no one because your depression and slight bipolar issues he will say good bye I’m not going to argue with you one time he told me he don’t love me like he use to broke my hart all over but then come to find out he came to me an told
    Me he did not mean that made me walk around for month hurting he has told me in the past that I’m delusional I’m crazy an I got mental issues I guess the thinks I love having depression/bipolar but he knows the bad things that has happened to me in my childhood and past relationships so anyone out there could you give me some good advice I no o should just never talk to him again but I just keep thinking of the kids

  23. Hi Jake, I had a similar situation. I was married for 14 yrs. I had prayed for a good fearing man, who truly me. My ex said he know he was going to marry me, the moment he saw me. I thought he was my everything. 2yrs into the marriage he started surfing onto Black Planet. Then a family member found out but never told me. Then as soon as he got a new job a year later, He started his affair. Because we lived outside the city we commuted. By him staying in town. He was actually staying with her. When we got into arguments ” He needed time to think”. He was with her. Long story short marriage ended with 2nd relation developed with his nurse. Now married a year. I have no closure.. I cry everyday. Sometimes I don’t know how I’m going to make tomorrow. I don’t understand how someone could love a person and freely give themselves to someone else. I love and hate at the same time!

    • Sorry dear,its hurts but you have to move on with your life ,if you still love him always pray for him because sometimes its the handwork of devil as time goes God will intervene and show you your dreams and favour… Please y.
      ou deserve better just be strong and courageous …be yourself dear always hope in him(God) thanks

  24. He said he is frustrated due to somethings going on in his life. His friend confirmed this too. He wasn’t paying any attention to me and it felt like a one-sided relationship. I showed him all the love I could. But I always complained because I couldn’t take the fact that he wasn’t really showing care for me. we had a fight one night and the next morning I realized he blocked my number. I felt it meant he was done with me so I texted him saying that I’m breaking up with him because I felt like I was bothering him. He said nothing. I miss him and I want him back. Do you think he will come back to me?please help me.

    • I’m in the same boat. I broke up with my ex about a week ago. We are not getting back together. He has some DEEP issues that he needs to work out. I know the break up was the right way to go. He has attachment issues, and is doing everything to detach from me right now. He may have already. He sent a gift to my son and told him they can remain pals. He told me he did not care for me anymore, I walked out on him. But the rest told me that he had deep issues, and the problem was not me. It was him. And I’m confident in that. He honestly cannot handle a relationship right now. He needs to find himself, and he does not wish to drag me down with him. Sounds like a cliche, but I have seen that this is true. He actually opened up a bit during this convo. If he didnt care, he would not have told me what he told me (personal info about his issues). If he tries another relationship, he will have the same issue. He could only let me in so much, so he may have detached quickly. He kind of put his own wall up to make sure that he could. He tries to remain positive, but it is only a crutch so he doesnt have to deal with his issues. He told me we could remain friends, I said I wanted space. He has a lot to work out before he can have a successful relationship. It will take years. I have closure, and will move on by the time he gets everything together. We may remain friends, I dont know at this point. He is a good guy, but so lost right now. I feel bad and do wish the best for him.

  25. I was in a relationship with a lady half my age she have 5 kids i love her but she have a. Another guy now she use me for my money and i help her with her kids that is not my. What should i do

    • You made a mistake ,since you loved her you would have get marry to her then take care of them since have money..love has no age barrier dear….move on dear she’s not for you and ThankGod for your life she showed it in time ….just move on you deserve better

  26. Was about to married my ex and all of a sudden, she did not answer my text and phone call. I keep texting her and she finally answer with sorry I can not get back with you and that we are only friend. I told her all I want is to see her face to face and have an explanation. I know she is going thru some hard time, so I just ask her why she make the decision. She did not answer my text. I try to give her time alone so I would just text her good morning and how r u. She still did not reply and so I called her and she refuse to pick up my phone. After a couple day she tell me not to look for her and that she have a new boyfriend to take care of her. She told me not to care for her anymore. I want to let go but I am really afraid something bad happen. What should I do?

    • She cheated on you and disrespected you. It shows that she has been cheating on you even before she left you. Bro, you are not a door mat so let go of her. Move on with your life and make yourself better.

  27. Hi I’m Atlegang 23 old yrs

    I was in a relationship with my ex for 2yrs then he blocked me bcuz of our arguments but he unblocked me after 2months and I forgave him and we decided to start over again, the sad part he was an athlete and we were in a long distance relationship then on his status on watsapp I find that he post a child that looked the same like him but he denied that is not his or of his relative but of her ex and he asked to be a step father nothing much so I was so angry that he lies about something obvious then I mocked him to tell him to stop talking to me and to block me everywhere but he didn’t block me until today.

    Then after a month I missed him so much that I texted him yesterday to say “hi can we please talk”? but he read and didn’t answer me and I can’t get over him or to stop loving him so can I be helped

  28. Hi I’m Thapi 19yrs old

    I was in a relationship with my ex for 2yrs then he blocked me bcuz of our arguments but he unblocked me after 2months and I forgave him and we decided to start over again, the sad part he was an athlete and we were in a long distance relationship then on his status on watsapp I find that he post a child that looked the same like him but he denied that is not his or of his relative but of her ex and he asked to be a step father nothing much so I was so angry that he lies about something obvious then I mocked him to tell him to stop talking to me and to block me everywhere but he didn’t block me until today.

    Then after a month I missed him so much that I texted him yesterday to say “hi can we please talk”? but he read and didn’t answer me and I can’t get over him I don’t know if he still loves me or not because he didn’t even picked my calls so I’m so hurt and still love him or to want him back so I need an advice please help me guyz…

  29. Hi Ruth, I can feel your pain. I am in the same situation. My ex dumped me saying that we had different schedules, no time time to see each other and blah blah. But a month after break up he was all over a girl who is half his age and he has befriended on facebook and likes every single post of her. That’s so hurtful. The worst is I was told by a mutual friend who works with him (the girl also works with them) that he does not even hide intentions and flirts with her and touches her in front of other colleagues. Obviously, something is going on between them. Knowing that has helped me move on, and I feel nothing now, except indifference.

  30. I break up with my ex cos i caught him cheating, now we have separated but I have realise I cant do without him, I want to forgive him and get another chance with him again but am afraid.. What should I do..what if he has already move on with the girl he cheated on me with..Hmmm please you guys should help me

  31. My ex of 3 years dumped me 2 months ago saying he loves me but not in love with me. I begged pleaded for us to sort things out he said no. But I noticed his sending hearts to a girl half his age on social media and he said his not seeing her cant help but think something is wrong here they work together and she younger than his oldest child My heart is breaking cant stop thinking of him crying the whole time HELP

  32. Well my ex has moved on its been a tough year I was being blamed for things I didn’t realize I was doing. A lot has happened my heart broken I still don’t get the point behind all that’s happened. HOWEVER OF HE WOULD JUST EXPLAIN THEN I CAN MOVE ON AND MY HEART CAN HEAL AN D MY MIND CAN BE AT PEACE.

  33. My ex girlfriend can’t stand me, I’ve done nothing but lie and take advantage of her financially. Now I’m hoping Karma doesn’t catch up with me. She’s over me, I don’t blame her I never was a true man or boyfriend.

    • I completely understand. I’ve been with mine for 11 years . I had no idea this was going to happen. We are still living together but , he’s on the couch and I’m in the bedroom . I don’t think there has been one day ever I haven’t cried these last two months . We’re not intimate either . I honestly thought we’d be back together . Sadly , it hasn’t happened. I love him very much . We were going to get married but , at this point a person can only try for so long . I’m starting to give up . Eventually he will have to leave otherwise I will never be able to move on . This whole situation has been one giant nightmare. I’ve been beyond confused 😐.

    • ive just been dumped 2 weeks ago by my partner of 7 years, over something i still cant get my head round . basically because i couldnt get hold of him on text or calling his phone as he had left home around 11am and not heard from him all day . he left home telling me he was off to go spend time with his son .which had been a regular thing for him to do so i didnt question it . so later in the evening still no word i messaged his ex who informed me her and her husband and his son had been on holiday for 10 days and he hadnt seen his son for awhile maybe every 2 weeks and only for a few hours . not what he had been telling me . so i told her that as far as i was aware he told me he saw his son very regularly . anyways because she had a chat with him because clearly she was hurt and not happy that he used his son to lie to me . when he did come home which was the following morning he basically was angry at me for contacting his ex and telling her his private business and i crossed the line and he will never forgive me . nevermind the fact that actually he was way over the line with his treatment of me and his behaviour was unacceptable in all counts. so he basically dumped me no ‘chat’ nothing just blatant gonna pick my stuff up at the weekend off i go scenario. needless to say and i dont know why but i was absolutely heartbroken im still trying to wrap my head round the past 7 years of being treated like i was never a priority . all his friends and his son have always came first . his son understandable although clearly hes not been completely honest with him either . but thats between them all to sort out . do i miss him ? every minute of the day . why ? you ask . well thats whats so different about me and him . i actually invested all of me in the relationship . and loved and cared deeply about him too much . made me blind as to his narcisistic tendancies towards me . and i become sooo wrapped up in that that i forgot about who i am as a person and i got more focussed on how to be there for him and supported him regardless how he treat me . im at that mindset of my head and heart in constant conflict . because no matter what he did text me saying im a good person and deserve better. i did the mistake in my hour of grief of stupidly making an idiot of myself by texting him at first the blame game and making him feel guilty because a small part of him did actually care once and that was the part i wanted to hurt the most i guess. it did get where ive sat messaged him and then regretted what ive said afterwards because again my heart kept ruling my head. he did reply asking if he could come home and start a new beginning .i didnt say yes tho i did however say we needed to meet up and have a coffee somewhere to talk . he agreed and then next day he apologised and said he couldnt make it because he had lots to do that day . so i told him no worries maybe another time when your not so busy . then i left it a few hours and as much as it broke my heart saying it i texted him and said to him that i was sorry but we should leave it for a few weeks and then see how we feel at moment things are still raw and need time to clear our heads from all the negative thoughts and feelings. which would have to happen anyways before even thinking about moving forwards if we both decide to try again. i also told him for me its not about the blame game it was more what we both done to have reached this point where we are now and how we could have handled things differently if at all. i also said it would be nice to know what he was thinking also as i like to have open communication as i feel that is important in a relationship . so we could understand eachother. he didnt reply to that. only thing he texted me after that was if he could pick up his letters . i was civil and invited him in for a coffee. basically he told me to be strong . and its just as difficult for him as it is for me. although i do find that abit hard to believe as hes drinking with his friends every night , as thats what they do . and i do believe he does have a drink problem but hes happy with that . somehow it seems to be a portuguese thing or at least thats what he used to tell me alot . he does keep saying sorry for everything and admitted to me he treat me badly .but clearly just wants to be using it as an excuse to get drunk . thats what he does. and thats what i tried to help him with in the 7yrs of being with him .but unfortunately hes never going to change . and im slowly accepting that . but it doesnt ease the pain of what could have been if we both wanted the same things .sorry this is turning into a novel . but hopefully going through what ive wrote having my thoughts in black and white might help the healing process . as for will i ever take him back like i said before my heart and my head are in constant battle as my heart in a way feels sorry for the vulnerable person he is having to hide himself in alcohol.as you guessed im a natural genuine caring person in fact i already know im too caring and thats what makes me a victim of being hurt in relationships but i cant change the way i am . its just going to take someone who also has the same qualities as myself to make me realise whats missing in my life.

  34. I hate people who say your ex does not owe you ‘closure’ or honesty about their feelings cause hearing ‘I don’t love you’ would not make you feel better. It’s bullsh*t, it would feel awful in the moment of course, but trying to figure out their feelings endlessly looping in your mind and holding a candle for them for months or even years feels a hell worse. If you respect the person don’t treat them like a child that can’t bear the truth, tell them straight ‘I don’t have feelings for you anymore, I’m sorry’ it’s that easy. It’s a matter of respect. If people were just honest instead of sugar-coating the break up we’d not need articles likes this, some of us would not keep blaming themselves, spending a tonne on therapy sessions or even going to fortune tellers or what not. You do owe your ex a proper respectful and honest closure, especially if you were together for a long time and they really worked on that relationship with you.

    I hope all of you recovering from break ups who ended up on this article are doing well with stopping to give the person who does not care about you so much importance and love. And remember just because they reject your love and care it does not mean those things are not valuable.

  35. I really miss my ex bf and I want him back in my life .. I just broke up with him almost two months now but I realized I want him in my life and I don’t know what to do to win him back I’m afraid to ask bcoz maybe he already moved on and maybe he doesn’t want me back anymore !!!

    • Do yourself a favor and just go for it . Yes , it will hurt if he’s moved on but at least you will have an answer . Don’t wait !! Then you’ll regret it for the rest of your life . If he means that much to you just tell him . Maybe you guys just needed a break and now can start working on the relationship ❤️❤️ Good luck

  36. This article/author nails it. At least 11 of the 13 signs applied to my situation. What made my experience worse was that she kept saying she just needed some alone, independent time and she even envisioned us getting back together inthe future. This just strung me along alone for an extra year. But I held it hope because she didnt date anyone else the whole time…so I believed her. Then I finally found out that, all the while, she was with her married boss. What a waste of time and emotion…and it still hurts.
    Sure wish I had seen this excellent article then. Nice work Joan!

    • If she was with her married boss , she doesn’t even value herself ! No self respect ! She did you a favor! He wants what she can’t have ! Go no contact !

  37. (LDR) Ex betrayed/cheated me with some one else. Always complain “I use her” whenever I visit CA regardless friendship or relationship status. She NEVER visit me in TN but with an exception that we be in relationship. Her “family-terrifying” hid me/us under the bus. She met my family in FL at my son wedding. I DONT HIDE HER!!! I proudly show her to the world. I upfronted her as much as I want her to know me! She being so secrecy. After her terrify of family stalk her turn out not that case. I had to break her up and demoted to friendship until she prove what “unconditional love” she claims really mean!?! Over time depression creeped in me till I’m choked out of her smothering or psychic vampire. MAJOR DEPRESSION took into me. Her yapping/nagging “You love to talk with me because you are alone” WTF? ??‍♂️ That was enough of it and had to prove what she asked for! No communication for 5 months after I wished her a HBD. Surprised her a week before I go to CA. Revealed she dating around. Confusion hits me. CRUSHED ME DEARLY!!! Lost 59 lbs in 2 months 3 weeks! Struggle to move on. Angers/hatreds too strong. Emotion very intense to dealt with! Heed my advice. DO NOT GET INTO RELATIONSHIP FAST WITHOUT STARTING AS FRIENDSHIP!!! I own my mistake and consequences to get into relationship fast because I found her very attractive and extreme interesting. She demand to get into relationship because “friend” not interested her! MY MISTAKE!!! That is something I’m living with this painful regret! That not a real love! It hurts worse than hell!!! Save your broken heart pains. Start friend. Screen everything before feel confidence into before upgrade to relationship status REGARDLESS ANY OF EXCUSES!!! Such as religious or her weird/crazy family or whatsoever she hiding or dating around n compare then be chosen the winner. I should have walked away after I broke up AND NOT DEMOTED AS FRIENDSHIP because of her terrify of family!!! Reasonable accommodated due to her circumstance of situation especially concern her two under age kids til she fix her issues while I fix my own issues. Therefore when her two kids aged out things may get comfortable if she actually fix her issues and be more true self. She’s over 41 years old!!! Acting like 14!!! Sheesh. Again. That said start friend to save your pain. Hope no one go thru what I went thru. Too fu**ing painful to dealt with. Self esteem destroyed completely. No worth or worthless-feelings. Negative-feeling. Sorry if my English not good. ASL is my primary language. My ex was a hearing person.

  38. My ex told me he loved me and cared about me but it’s to much went out weekend didn’t Evan contact me to tell me where he was then I new He was with his mates as he answer the phone then told me he done with me . Then Sunday night on Facebook on my old account I reach out to him before and he message just excusing me being horrible saying he done putting lol and then he said to my mate tonight I’m not his problem anymore and his done with me. But we was fine all last week I stayed at his I don’t get what’s change but there been a lot family issues he family don’t like me mine don’t like him!

  39. My x bring joy to my life I know life is, very short but I wish I could even get back one more moment with my x I would feel great sigh Maria pkye come back to me, please sigh

    • Dear always believe you are the best. if your partner really deserve you in her life she would stay for you…its a signs telling you ,your partner is not for you..remember you deserve better and need to be loved with tenderness …you are best of your kind relax the best for you is coming …be yourself !God bless you

  40. I miss my x so much every night before go to bed I cry ever day.. Even when am taken a bath.. I just can’t take it no more, I need my xback

    • Listen I know that feeling but as time goes on it will get better . I was with somebody for 17yrs and out of nowhere she wasn’t happy and left me for a old school friend it was the worst yr of my life almost lost everything because I lost my wife . Then as the months went by I started talking to my ex of 33 yrs ago and we started seeing each other again . Thought this time this was a chance to get things right . All was great and fun . Then after about 6 month she decided we were totally different people and I needed more time and she just like her life the way it was . So I found myself alone again and missing her because she was my first love . And I thought I had her back after 33 yrs . But I was wrong . So now I turned my life over to Christ . And I thank him for what I have not what I don’t have . And decided to live for myself and my kids and if God wants somebody in my life he will bring them.

      • I hope you realize that “turning your life over to Christ”, is just a crutch. You felt helpless to reconcile your own life, so you found a surrogate. Come on man! Take credit for what YOU DID…..

  41. You are right about this. If the ex wants to get back together with a guy, she would put some serious effort; but when she is has lost feelings,etc… better to let go and find another one. Life is short to cry over the past 🙁 though first love always hurts.

    • That’s the truth I have 2kids with nine she is dating someone already after 3months of us breaking up and all I can do think about winning my family back. And her heart my kids are mad bc we are no longer a family

    • Holy flippin . . .

      4, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 & 14. . .
      SO ACCURATE for me!! Especially 4, 5, 8 & 9. . .
      Confirmed, I’m deleting my email and I’m going to disappear off her radar for good!! See how well she does WITHOUT me!! I REALLY REALLY DID change for her and you think she cared?? Do you think that helped whatsoever?? HELL NO!! Then suddenly before I knew it, she started causing arguments ON PURPOSE and to piss me off!! I even told her in the very last email I ever sent her which said, “You always seem to cause these arguments on purpose, it seems like you love pissing me off on purpose too!! I’ve got work in the morning!! Goodnight and GOODBYE!!” I feel like a complete dumbass for TRYING to win her heart back, but unfortunately, she has NO HEART!! It’s a matter of time until she does the same thing to her new boyfriend!! And she wonders why no one gives a sh*t about her, she also wonders why her parents hate her so much, including her big brother. . .
      Know what, I don’t care anymore!! She is by far the most insensitive, ungrateful, manipulative, disrespectful oversized human-matress to ever exist in this universe!! No, I’m absolutely ABSOLUTELY NOT sorry if she happens to come across this and see it!! And no, I’m not bitter, I’M MAD AS HELL!! Infact…have any of you ever looked at fire…? And I mean, REALLY REALLY REALLY looked at fire…? It’s amazing at how much damage it can do if it was to end up in the wrong hands. . .
      Say…can someone tell me what it means every time I think about the roaring flames of the burning raging fire…? Especially when you can see it reflecting from a mirror in your eyes when you’re not even looking at an actual fire…? Every time I think about the mean, nasty hurtful sh*t she said to me and especially after she said that she’ll “Give me a chance as a friend”, I see the fire in my eyes. . .


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