One of the hardest things about moving on from a breakup is accepting that the person who used to be the center of your world does not want to be part of your life anymore. The difficult part is when you are left hanging because you are not sure whether to wait or not.
However, knowing that your ex does not want you back should push you to move on, no matter how hard it is. If you do not do it, you will end up being pathetic from wallowing with bitterness while your ex is freely enjoying his/her new life.
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14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back
Here are 14 signs that may help you realize if it is worth hoping for a reconciliation:
1. Your ex does not respond to your calls or messages.
This one is normal if s/he does not answer your calls and messages days after your breakup. Maybe, s/he needs time and space. However, if after weeks and months, your ex does not even bother to ‘seenzone’ your messages on Messenger, and s/he never pick up even if you call every day, then it is clear the person does not want to communicate with you anymore.
2. You get blocked or s/he changes mobile number.
When you get blocked on Facebook and his/her phonebook, it means your ex does not want you to reach out to him/her anymore. S/he may even change contact details to make sure you cannot contact him/her. When this happens, respect the person’s privacy and stop looking for ways to communicate.
3. All your stuff is returned.
Usually, it is hard to return your ex’s things after a breakup if you still love the person because doing so is like letting the person go for good. That is why, if your ex gives you the stuff you gave him/her, it could be a sign that s/he is already letting you go.
4. Your efforts are taken for granted.
If you are still doing everything to win your ex back after weeks or months, but it seems like s/he does not care about it, then you better stop. You are only making a fool of yourself. If the person still wants you back, s/he would not ignore you for a long time because s/he could not withstand taking you for granted.
5. Your ex does not make any effort to reconcile.
If over the weeks and months, your ex never makes any effort to win you back or at least express how s/he misses you, then it is a clear sign. The person does not want to take any step that can rekindle your affection for each other because s/he wants complete freedom from you.
6. S/he tells you, ‘I’m tired’ with a sigh.
When a person gets tired of a relationship, s/he would not be eager to keep it anymore. So, if your ex does not want to get back together, and s/he tells you s/he got tired already, then stop pushing for it. You better give him/her space and time to rest.
7. The family does not welcome you anymore.
Usually, if you are welcome in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s home, you become part of the family. So, whenever you two fight, they would tell you to reconcile. They would even back you up to win him/her again. However, if this time the family is already cold to you, maybe it is because your ex made it clear to them that s/he does not want to be back with you anymore.
8. Ex is not interested to see you.
If your ex still cares for you, then s/he would be dying to see you again if given a chance. However, if your ex never gives in after several invitations to dinner or coffee, it means s/he is not interested in meeting up with you.
9. Ex seems irritated and unexcited to see you.
What about accidentally bumping into each other? If your ex seems unexcited and annoyed seeing you after weeks or months of being separated, it means s/he is not interested in hearing you or seeing you anymore. If the person still cares, that moment would be special and emotional for him/her.
Even if you already broke up, if your ex still loves you, s/he would not want you to be hurt. The person would not do anything that would push you away completely because of s/he hopes for reconciliation. Nevertheless, if s/he is dating someone else already, and s/he is open to the public about it, then that means you are out of the picture. It is like saying s/he is free, single, and available to like anyone.
11. S/he does not care if you date someone new.
In the same way, if your ex does not seem to care if you find someone new already, then it means s/he is already over you. If s/he still cares, s/he would normally directly or indirectly express anger or bitterness. S/he could confront you about it, and may even cause him/her to realize and admit that s/he is afraid to lose you to someone else.
12. You are told you deserve someone better.
This line is a cliché usually used when dumping someone. Normally, this is an excuse used by a person to free himself/herself from the guilt of causing pain to someone. One who truly loves his/her partner would do his/her best to deserve that person. So, if your ex keeps on using this on you whenever you try to get back with him/her, then you have to think twice.
13. S/he seems happy and content with their present life.
If breaking up with you was not a loss for your ex, then it would show in his/her aura. Yes, it is normal that s/he misses you, but if s/he seems to get by with peace and joy without you, then maybe s/he thinks the breakup was a good decision. You can tell this if s/he does not look stressed, gloomy, and lifeless— the usual signs when a person is going through a tough time.
14. You are not chosen.
If there is a need to choose between you and another person, whoever gets chosen is clearly the one holding your ex’s heart. If the other person gets picked over you, then you know the answer to the question of whether your ex is over you or not.
14 Signs Your Ex Is Waiting for You
1. Following your online activities
2. Having nostalgic conversations
3. Reaching out from time to time
4. Staying a bit longer to talk each time you see each other
5. Showing signs of emptiness/loneliness
6. Trying to patch things up
7. Maintaining communication with your friends and family
8. Showing that s/he misses you
9. S/he is backed up by friends
10. Available to help you out
11. Approaching you when s/he has problems
12. Her/his eyes are glued to you
13. Becoming less social
14. Still single after a long time
Please visit signs that your ex still loves you and waiting for you for the details.
It is okay
Life does not end when your ex’s affection for you ends. There are still a lot of reasons to go on with life. Do not focus on your loss. Instead, be thankful for the blessings you receive and value the people who continue to be there for you.
You may also read these articles to find the right person to marry:
- 12 Signs He’s the Guy You Should Marry According to the Bible
- 20 Signs She’s the Woman You Should Marry According to the Bible
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
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Chinese Translation: 14个迹象显示你的前任已经死心，不要与你再续前缘了
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Photo by Olichel Adamovich
Me and my gf now “ex” broke up after 3yrs… we broke up because I cheated but we fought through fro about 6 months. She also had been stressed with work and getting new puppy and everything. She took care of me on my surgery which was a week s before she ended things. Since that we’ve met twice. FORST one was very emotional conversation and also telling me she just needs space and time to heal… she said she loves me and everything but needs that space. We met a second time, less emotional conversation but both ended with buying food , a hug and a passionate kiss. We still share accounts like hbo max and I’m on her family plan, share locations, not blocked on anything and neither of us talked about returning belongings… do you think we will be back ? Need back welcomed… she’s said things like idk if we can but why keep me on things if she didn’t already know. We also are seeing eachother in summer… what do you guys think with all that I have told and said. Is it true she just needs that space and time to have another go around with this ?
I had miss understanding with my bf
And he suddenly stop calling or even texting me….in fact he no longer come online…..I don’t know what to do! M so confused!
My bf broke up with me after we had kissed it hurts a lot what should I do
I cheated on my girlfriend and she left me I have tried everything and I think she is seeing someone now and it hurts how could I cheat on someone I love I really love her but she is gone blocked any communication with me I am sorry I cheated but the pain I am in .I am really a bad person
I have an ex that just couldn’t get over me, and I just friend zoned him. After we broke up (about 2 years ago) he still wouldn’t leave me alone. It went on for 6 months from the time we broke up when he still wouldn’t leave me alone. When I told him that I would just be his friend (later finding out that it was a really stupid idea), but I will still need my space. He didn’t respect that at all, he would stalk me, try to get a hold of me through college email, contact my phone with a different phone number, etc. To keep this short, out of all the things that he wanted (stay in contact, second chance, “pity me”, etc) , which is why I am still “friends” with the dude. This has been going on for about a year now, he wants to talk almost every day (so I just gave him what he wanted). I just can’t wait till I get a new phone number soon 🙂 Hopefully getting a new phone number would fix many issues.
By the way, this was a little difficult for me, honestly I didn’t know what I was thinking at all. Yes, first “love” was hard, especially since it’s the first relationship and don’t know what to expect.
By the way, I have found this article in hopes of bringing it to my ex’s attention so he can get the hint that I am not into him anymore. It was an interesting article and shed light for me so that when I find that someone and know whats up and whats going on so I don’t dwell with a broken heart.
If you sit there thinking that he should just get over you already, that hes pathetic to not move on, etc…..You havent considered the idea of why you see yourself as someone that should just so easily be forgotten and while theyve moved on… You dont value yourself as to why someone would fight all possible obstacles to having you in their lives. Is that what you want to be seen as, something so easily discardable? A carcass that only vultures desire? Regardless of how you show you are not interested doesnt make it easier to forgot about someone you love… that intensity grows from the actions of other party, which in cases like yours would be that you showed up with higher feelings and the you actually had.
my ex tells me he doesnt want to get back together but he tries to talk to me often and gets upset because he thinks i dont want to talk to him. he said he wants me to approach him and talk confidently and not feel negative about myself but when i try to go up to him it feels like he wants to walk away. he still wears my clothes and still contacts me every single day but when my friend asked him why he didn’t want to get back with me he said he didnt think its worth trying. i really want him back.
JUST THEN he did say he’ll consider it though. he said hes not interested in a relationship currently because he wants to focus on his life
That’s so sad. Why even be in a relationship if your just going to be evil the whole time. Men like you should be single forever.
I’m stuck on the fence. I had to break up with my boyfriend because he was emotionally cheating on me with his ex. After a week I realized that I could have tried to fix the situation; that I could have responded differently. Yet now only two weeks since the break up he is dating his ex. I am friends with her too and he still wants me in his life as a friend. I have realized that I care that he is happy even though it might mean I’m part of it. now I have realized that if its meant to be than destiny will bring us back.
Experiences like this have made me into a very cold and callous person. I avoid people at all costs. I am unable to trust a woman in any capacity. I still talk to my current ex, but as time goes on I find myself feeling more and more bitter. I get angry at the person…then they pull the abuse card for even confronting them.
If I ever saw either of my first two exes I would spit in their faces. I hate them with a passion (whenenever I think about them). That’s easy to deal with.
My current ex, however, is a more complicated situation. We both have mental health issues and became very enmeshed. I’m torn between wanting to reconcile and wanting to just walk away. If I’m honest, I will try to reconcile until there is no doubt that its over.
Even if the other person doesn’t respond to it, its about the principle of the thing. I won’t reduce myself to being a petty, vindictive guy who hates women. I’ve been in that place for a long time.
And if you love someone you’ll set them free, right? Is that true or just a cliche?
I think it’s just a cliche. Most people love themselves above all others and if you set someone you “love” free, that means you don’t really care what happens to them anymore (whether they live or die, get sick, etc!) You also won’t be there during the happy and proud moments of their life. Basically, you won’t see them be happy anymore (at least not in the true genuine sense!). You may see them “happy” if you stalk them on Facebook or something, but that’s only the surface. You will NEVER get to know them in an intimate way anymore. You will NEVER get to be physically intimate with them either anymore. Now call me crazy but only a masochist would want to put themselves in a torturing position like that! I’d say if they don’t fight for your love, then yes it is really unfortunately over. We only have one life, why live another minute without their love and commitment if it was indeed a good kind of love??!! Love is special and doesn’t happen “too often”. The real kind that is. Why throw that all away if you could help it??!
So my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He said he doesn’t feel anything for me. It’s hurt so bad. One day I’m okay, but the next day I feel so bad.. I don’t know how to bring him back. He still looks at my story even if he don’t go to instagram. And I do stupid things, because I can’t control myself. Every day I stalk him if he is online or he post something. After a week after break up we talked like a good friend and of course we had sex. I don’t know if that was a good thing or not. We lived together. I want him back soo bad… What should I do? Should I wait 2 weeks and then try to text him? He wanted to chat like a good friends, but I kept ignoring him then he texted me. Maybe I should chat with him?
We are still living together and neither of us has said its over, but I just know in my heart that it is. We have not spoken to each other for almost 2months now. I just dont have the straight to ask him whats happening. Sum signs are there from his part and looks like his having a full happy life at this moment. Iam speechless, never thought we would ever be like this looking back.
I cheated on him, and he break up with December, and engaged someone else the same December and posted it on Instagram, when I saw it I didn’t say anything to him, I went on no contact for a month, now his coming back telling me he wants to break up with her, I no he loves me and I love him to, what should I do now please.
My ex and I broke up after almost 20 years of marriage and have 2 younger children together. She cheated multiple times and has never expressed any remorse. I struggled for a 5 plus years to get through the anger and missing my family. I would have done anything to get us back together. I was pathetic. Obviously, I did not know who she really was and she did not care who she destroyed because she is a narcissist and sociopath.
So what’s going on now? After 3 plus years of counseling I have become indifferent to her and her bs. She can’t figure that out. I let her believe that she has the power but I finally realized that I have the power because she needs my help with the kids financially (above the child support). I don’t hate or love her because that just hurts me and gives her pleasure. That does not mean that I don’t miss the family dynamic in my life but that is just the concept and not about her.
Bottom line is indifference is liberating. It may take a while but just practice being indifferent, no matter how you feel about it. Over time that practice becomes a habit and that habit becomes a reality.
I know that sounds like psycho babble but it has worked for me. After 30 years of needing a relationships to feel “whole”, I am now happy by myself and with myself. No one defines me. The only person that deserves me is someone that I choose to be with to add to my life, not be my life.
If someone walks away from you, they don’t deserve you. Cry your tears and scream. It’s healthy to mourn a dead relationship but get counseling so that you can get past it and move on to a better place.
If you have kids, focus on them because the pain of watching the parents that they love fighting and breaking up is devastating. Put them first. Help them to heal. Be nice to your ex in front of them not matter how you feel (that’s not easy and it sucks especially when they have hurt you so badly that you can’t breath). Take the high road and watch what happens. It won’t be perfect but no one is happy 100% of the time.
Life is too short to wallow in the misery of a dead relationship.
im reading these, and i am glad i am not alone in my pain.
its crazy how someone can love you so much one day and the next end it all. But its ok i just want them to find a why to take back every “i love you”, every 5 hour call we had , every movie we watched together, every “i miss you” every adventure we went on together, every kiss, every hug, every christmas we spent together, every laugh we shared, every day, every week, every month,every year. oh wait you cant take that back i will never get that back, and thats hard to think about.
It is really crazy.
Whatever the case, always remember you’re worth it, this is probably just an unpleasant experience but you’d get through it with time.
Hang in there, free your heart of every hurt and regrets. Embrace the change and live your best life.
It sucks, I can relate to that feeling.
I keep on viewing my ex status on WhatsApp but he always post the lady he cheated on me with claiming he really love her. it hurt me alot please guys I need your help,how do I get rid of him,I don’t want to think of him anymore.
Sweetheart ,just block his line that’s all
I broke up with my ex 3 months ago because he proposed last year however, could not discuss marriage. I know I might have been pushy but I apologised and asked him if we could go for coffee and he said it’s not a good idea. I asked him to give me another chance back into his life and he said he doesn’t know, he really doesn’t know. Do I run after him or do I just accept the fact that he does not want me anymore?
Hey I have being feeling the same way as a lot of you too. My ex broke up with me at the beginning of our senior year at high school because she said she was having a rough time and “didn’t want to bring me down with her.” she also said I deserved someone better but hoped maybe we could be together again some day. I told her I understood, even though I didn’t really agree or trust her reason but i didn’t say that in fear it would destroy her, but I was so afraid that, after all she had told me and sent me that she was gonna either really harm herself or kill herself and I wasn’t going to let that happen, so I stayed with her and tried to be there fro her, show her that someone actually did love her for her. In the end it turned out I had cared ” too much” and she was totally done with me, I tried to say I was sorry and that I was just so hurt and worried about her I didn’t realize I was being a bit to much but she only took it for a bit. In the end without ever even explaining truthfully what was wrong or why I wasn’t good enough after all this time, and all the other terrible moments she had, why that one was so different and I wasn’t good enough to help her. It DESTROYED ME! Now she is with another man who she had a thing for in the past but who just some how got back from being expelled from our school for almost killing a kid…. and I am forced to just sit back and watch as the woman I love looks at me in disgust and hugs her “big, strong man” I feel more alone and worthless than ever and while it has been a few months since she left me I still cant help but feel sorry about myself and totally die inside, people who cared have tried to help me but for some reason I can’t listen and I keep hurting myself because of it. I guess for me it’s just that I must of felt to much and thought she felt the same way. Shame on me for feeling like I had something different and special, and hoping she’d take a guy with a big heart back….