No relationship is perfect. All unions have flaws, and conflicts are expected to happen from time to time. However, no issue can destroy the bond of couples working hard together to make their relationships work.
The following are the top 10 problems that most relationships have to deal with. Find out how they emerge, how to avoid them, and how to fix them if you are already struggling with these problems.
1. Lack of communication
In every kind of relationship, communication is always the key to harmony. Since we, humans, are not mind-readers, we should not expect other people to completely understand us if we do not express our thoughts. Many couples fight because either one or both of the partners fail to communicate clearly.
There is only one solution to this problem—and that is no other than communication itself. Instead of keeping your heartaches and disappointments from each other, make it a habit to sit down together and have a heart-to-heart but level-headed conversations to express what you feel.
2. No one willing to give way
Another common issue in relationships is pride. During conflicts, many people refuse to admit their mistakes and apologize to their partners. If you have observed, most fight scenarios involve pointing fingers to one another, but rarely does anyone take the blame.
To overcome this kind of problem, both of you have to acknowledge the need for humility on both sides. Then, you talk and come to an agreement of how you should deal with conflicts without being defensive and offensive. For instance, you can agree that whenever there is a misunderstanding, both of you should evaluate your part in the conflict, be willing to admit it, and apologize.
3. Lack of time for each other
One of the usual causes of LQs (lovers’ quarrels) is the lack of time together. Some people could become so busy with their careers that they are barely able to free themselves to see their beaus. Unless their partners are very understanding, the time would come that this could trigger animosity in the other person, which could lead to a gap between them.
You both need to understand that when you chose to commit to a relationship, it becomes one of your priorities. No matter how busy you are—if you really want your relationship to last—then you have to insert a “babe time” in your hectic schedule. It is best if you can agree on a specific time (not necessarily for hours and somewhere grand), like a twice a week lunch or dinner together.
4. Too much time spent with each other
On the other hand, being together almost 24/7 could create a big problem too. Doing together all things all the time could rob you both the chance to grow personally and explore individual opportunities. You also have to remember that there are other relationships that you need to give time too, like your family and friendships.
If you have noticed that your world seems to revolve around your partner already, then it is time to consider balancing your life because this is unhealthy. You need to agree on setting a “me time” and a time to spend with your own families and circles of friends. Also, give each other the freedom to embrace career opportunities, meet new people, and enjoy hobbies on your own.
5. Creating a harmonious relationship with families
Meeting and winning the hearts of your beloved’s family could be challenging, especially if you are not their ideal partner for their son/daughter. Likewise, you could find his/her family annoying or hard to deal with. Now, you have to understand that if you would marry your boyfriend/girlfriend, his/her family would be your family too.
You cannot choose nor change your partner’s family. As much as possible, both of you should work to get closer to each other’s parents and siblings. If friction cannot be avoided between you and your partner’s family (or your partner and your family), then being respectful and civil with them is the least you could do.
6. Blending in with circles of friends
You do not want your boyfriend/girlfriend to make you forget your friends just because s/he does not like them, right? The same with his/her family, you need to accept your partner’s friends too. You may not like them all, and not all of them may like you too, but at least you should do your part in meeting and treating them right.
Both of you need to make an effort to get to know each other’s friends. Do some fun activities in which you can invite both of your friends, like a barbecue party or a beach outing. Also, you can hang out with your BFFs with your boyfriend/girlfriend as a tag along (but make sure you ask permission from your friends first).
7. Conflict of personalities and values
Being separate individuals, it is normal for couples to have different or even opposing personalities and values. There will be times when these differences could lead to conflicts and even serious fights. Among the usual dissimilarities relationships meet along the way are family traditions, morality views, religious beliefs, and priorities.
One of the usual reasons marriages fail is because of irreconcilable differences. As early as now, you must confront those conflicting values and traits you have, and decide to meet half ways. It may not happen over time, but as long as both of you are willing to adjust and respect, then you can be peacefully together.
8. Thrill and attraction stage over
After months or a year, you may not find your relationship that romantic anymore. The sparks could be gone, and you may even grow tired of being together. This is because your relationship is probably done with the attraction phase by that time.
However, this does not mean that love is already over between you. You have just reached that stage when your relationship is not based on fleeting emotions anymore. When this happens, you and your partner must intentionally make your bond work by setting regular dates and giving more effort to make each other feel special.
9. Jealousy and trust issues
It is normal to feel jealous if you love a person because you do not want to lose him/her. However, it becomes unhealthy if it makes you overly possessive already. Jealousy could make you unreasonably suspicious and malicious towards your partner, to the point of losing your trust.
Sometimes, jealousy has a root—probably a trust issue between you or a past cheating incident—so it is a fragile problem to deal with. If you want your relationship to work, then you need to be both willing to let go and forgive past mistakes. Also, you must help each other build or rebuild the trust in your relationship by being honest, open, and transparent.
In connection with number 9, cheating is one of the worst issues that a relationship could face. In many cases, it is usually the fatal blow that could destroy what you have been building together. And even if reconciliation happens, the mending process might take years or even a lifetime.
To protect your relationship from this problem, both of you should have a clear understanding of the commitment you have involved in. Talk about how you can practice honesty and transparency as partners. If you are in the stage of recuperating from this issue, then the best medicine is forgiveness (if you were the victim) or repentance with sincere change (if you made the mistake).
It Takes Two to Tango
Keeping a relationship strong requires the commitment and determination from both parties. You and your loved one must work hand-in-hand to surpass the challenges your relationship goes through. If no one gives up, then achieving that love that lasts a lifetime will be possible.